Can I lie myself out of existence just for this and next week? Pls?

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Can I lie myself out of existence just for this and next week? Pls?
i wanna make side stories or mini comics abt sad clowns, gay cryptids, kids stealing golf carts, and losers.
things seem hard - things are complicated brain wise and somedays i wake up ready to be active and other days (like today) i wake up and feel like shit. meh. i gotta figure a way to get back into my own body.
I'm gonna be honest with yall - if winter dies I'm gonna riot.
I dont get my anxiety around specific characters as if my perception is wrong or diminishes reality when all the stuff I think abt is fanon????
Why does my heart race and I panic? God damn these are fictional characters brain calm the f down.
I wish I had a better understanding of my own mental illness.
wow reccently everything has become so hard - i have so much guilt for liking things and shame for wanting to draw and post fanart??? like i see all these people ranting abt it and im like ????????? why?
anyway i’m probably just gonna post my fanart on tumblr @let-me-feel-my-feelings and avoid social media for a bit....
when i find a fanfic thats about interesting dynamics without ships i scream because YES PLEASE THANK GOD SOMEONE THANK YOUUUUU
i mean i love ship fanfic but I WANNA KNOW ALL THE DYNAMICS