#hannyblook

[rivkahstudies]

7.3.2019 2:03 PM | Happy July! I can't wait for what this month will bring in opportunities and experiences.

[rivkahstudies]

07.16.2019 9:32 PM | Guys... this is my fourth time attempting to post this thing and MAN has it been a day. I’m so blessed just to have the chance to try again.

I've been traveling/settling into the family house I'm renovating for the past week and a half. My studying has been sparse besides Arabic notes and Duolingo. However, I'm proud to report that I'm getting much better with the alphabet and even learned my first words! It feels amazing. I also had an AMAZING run today (my fastest first mile since I started this summer after a long break) and got a lot of cleaning done. Heck, even the small, cute addition of some star-shaped ice cubes (you can buy silicone trays online, I got mine from a Fourth of July sale when I was a kid) made the day feel a little better. My pro-tip for coffee lovers is if your coffee’s too hot or you need one iced, freeze the last little bit of your pot in a tray so normal ice doesn’t water your drink down.

It’s been a really hard day but I’m trying to focus on these good things. If/when I post more work/study pictures, it’ll be in the vein of #studyblrgetsreal. Because everything I post for you guys is real, but you never see the nights I don’t post. You don’t see the long hours or the caffeine overloads or the sweaty runs or the breakdowns. And no, you don’t have to see all of it, because it’s still my life and I like to maintain some privacy, but I never want any of my followers to think that, because they see the colorful notes (which I don’t rewrite because nobody really has time for that---it’s basically a Russian Roulette game of “is this aesthetic or is this vomited up from hell” based solely on my mood and the professor’s lecture speed) and the good handwriting (reserved for homework and my bullet journal when I can go at my own pace) and nothing else, my life is only those pretty pictures where I steal some good lighting or a nice view of campus.

Part of the reason I’ve previously never shown you the bad pictures is because I like to focus on the positive. I like to be encouraging to people who want to study more or learn! I don’t want you to worry that studying is too intense for you to gain knowledge. But I also have to realize when you make that commitment for yourself, for your passion, for your cause, you’re going to have those bad nights too. 

And it’s so, so important to know you’re not alone when you feel like that. And I know what that feels like. I know how comforting it is to know.

So I will still post my views of campus, my good notes, my colorful study guides--because those things are the wonderful parts of my student experience that I cherish. But I really, really detest the radio silence that’s born of a pressure to conform to perfection. (This is excluding when I just get too busy). And man, have I struggled with perfectionism. But if there’s one thing that this blog, my friends, and this community has taught me, it’s that it doesn’t have to be perfect for me to learn from it.

So get ready for a few more shadowy nights, flustered snapshots, and badly lit desks overflowing with disorganized papers. Get ready for more pictures of my cluttered desk and third cup of coffee in four hours (see above). I’m not going to glorify the bad parts or play the Pain Olympics (it’s a huge pet peeve and it helps no one) but I’m also not going to let y’all assume that my good days are my only days. I joined this community at 17, and some of you were or are younger when you started. At that age, we just want to belong, we just want to grow and be better. And I have grown so much, not just in my study habits but also in my identity. I want to be that positive current in the river of your life, just one of the many things affecting you, even if it’s in the smallest of ways (a post like this). 

As always, my inbox is eternally open. Welcome to Romanced By Academia.