Wait, no, I wanna hear more of your thoughts on batman and Harley?
ASK AND YE SHALL RECIEVE
okay so bruc3e having a very dry sense of humor and generally speaking pretty flatly and matter of factly versus Harley who is LOUD and PRESENT and has a more openly snarky sense of humor is just so good also rich kid brucie has no IDEA what to do with friends and here’s some exchanges that I think would happen from that
Harley talking to her frenemy from undergrad, Bruce Wayne: Ya know when me and mistah j fought Batman it was always kinda fun because you gotta see his bootyass in that tight little spandex number
Bruce: it’s not spandex. What am I, a circus performer?
Harley, after a beat: oh. So you’re Batman.
Bruce: ...shit
~
Alfred: should you really be befriending criminals Master Wayne?
Bruce: It’s one criminal Alfred how much harm could she do
Alfred: Need I remind you of Miss Kyle?
Bruce:.....it’s two criminals alfred how much harm could th-
~
Bruce, who’s in for a penny in for a pound, just like as a person: I’ve heard you were struggling with finding places to live. I think. You should. Come live with me.
Harley, who has a PhD in Reading Motherfuckers: that lonely huh?
Bruce: Of course not. I am just trying to..provide assistance.
Harley: name a single other friend you have that isn’t one of your justice coworkers or whatever you’re called. or an ex that tolerates you.
Bruce: :/
Harley: thought so
~
Harley: ya know if im gonna live with you you gotta be chill about stuff.
Bruce: no murdering
Harley: I’’m not gonna bring murdering into our home u know that. I’m talkin about me bein bi. I don’t want you goin all, I dunno, mormon or some shit on me if I bring home a lady or four
Bruce: oh. That won’t be an issue. I am. Bi as well.
Harley, running the numbers: so how long have u had a crush on superman
Bruce: What.
Harley: you bought him a house. Not exactly subtle.
Bruce, completely flat: how in the goddamn
~
Bruce: yet again i have to go deal with the clown prince of crime
Harley: emphasis on fuckin CLOWN amirite?
Bruce: :]
