Happy Capsule?
Sick. It's a kind of sick that no medicine can cure. It's called sick of my life.
Sick of this stupid cycle.
Point is, I'm not free. Free in the sense that I'm not allowed to go out or something. I really accepted that "overprotectiveness" my father has, but, sometimes, it just doesn't make sense anymore.
He's mad at me, for staying after school for almost the whole week. We did our project and Student Council work as well. Okay, I hang out with friends too, but the point is, I'm not staying for the sake of hanging out with them. I mean, come on, ever heard of work load? Project? Seems like a new word to you. Can't you see I'm concerned with my grades? Ako na ngang concerned na concerned sa grades dito, ako pang pinalalabas mong masama? bago yun ah.BV MUCH.
Another thing, you're an estranged father to me. Too tired. You prioritize your own parents and siblings than your own family. Because of you, I'm having a miserable life. Please, if your life's boring, don't make me pay for it by making my life miserable!
Luckily, I made it to the honor roll last year. I told him about my achievement to assure him that he never wasted his time for making me stay after class. Know what he said? He said that I don't really study at all. I just get high grades because of the projects. Oh, and I should've brought home a medal, not a certificate. Anu ba yan, certificate nga lang pag hindi graduating! Mas marami pang alam kesa sa kin eh! HOW DARE HE QUESTION MY ACHIEVEMENT! Traumatic. Degrading. He has more confidence in my older sister, because she didn't stay after school that much when she was in high school and she graduated without any award. In short, he's just proud she graduated from high school. How weird. It doesn't make sense. At all.
Anyways, I know it's just a small problem or something, but, imagine me, and his attitude, going to join for a couple of years? This, I think, I can't handle. He doesn't understand people. Good luck living with someone like that. He's close-minded, I think it's due to the fact that he only finished high school.
But, people get fed up. I get fed up with him! We can't go to the mall. Because he's sick, I don't understand him at all. Why? There's not much of a change anyway. When he's in tip-top shape, we still can't go to the mall! Why? He's going to visit his "lovely" family. Not really lovely if you ask me. They possess a bad attitude. They treated my mom badly. I know, in-laws are mostly like that, but they're also using my dad! Guess what? My dad agrees to be used! Mga tao nga naman!
They only call if they need something. I know maybe they're busy with their life, but, they had been really harsh. On us. During my dad's parents' party, we paid for one whole table that serves our contribution. We have the biggest contribution. When the party's over, we picked the food to take home. Guess what? My dad's sister's eyes widened, as if to indicate that we shouldn't take that much food. Who are you to tell that? WE made a colossal contribution and now, you want most of the food for your family to take home? PG kayo? di hamak na mas marangya buhay niyo kaysa samin! Kuripot niyo na nga, madamot pa kayo!
My mom had been right. My dad shouldn't have married and made a family of his own. Why? He doesn't make us, his own family as his priority. That's quite a big insult to me, considering the fact that I'm his daughter, and I always witness that he grants the request of my cousins first than mine. Di naman kami kabit.
Okay,we can't go to the mall. we want to. My shoes are starting to get worn out,and my bag needs to be replaced. I have no problem with commuting. I'm willing to commute in order to go to the mall. I told him that years ago. He disagrees. Why? He just doesn't want us to commute. He doesn't have time to fetch us to the mall. At the same time, he doesn't want us to commute. WTH do you want us to do with our lives? To stop living just because you want to? If your life's rough, please don't make it rough for other people as well.
We shouldn't be living life like this. We should be fighting for our freedom. It's a win-win situation for me anyway, cause it's either we get the liberty we've been longing for or my parents split up or fight. It's okay for me that they split up. Life had been really hard living in one roof with my dad.
I just wanted to vent. But, anyways, I know that someday, these things will make sense and this thing's going according to God's plan. Have faith.:)