Life is one big, fat, gigantic, stinking mess. That's the beauty of it.
I've been asked about what I think other people think of me, and I have to say I didn't quite know how to answer.. And then I asked myself: how do I think I am ? I mean, it is kinda hard for me to define myself, well I guess you can't really be objective about yourself. So for the past ten minutes I've been like: who am I really ? 17 y.o french girl, almost 18, with contradictory feelings, trying to be a good person. But am I ? I think I'm kind, I can't stand hurting people, even if I don't really like them, and I love making people smile. Actually I'm thinking a lot about others and not really about myself sometimes. I talk and laugh a lot when I'm with people I love. I guess I'm happy most of the time. Writing is my escape from bad thoughts. I can be really negative sometimes, it's hard for me not to live in the past but I guess I have improved on this, I'm insecure, maybe too much, I care too much about what people think of me, I'm always worrying about the future, and I get mad really quickly, most of the time for nothing, and then regret it. I dream a lot about what I'd like my life to be. I'm the kind of person who don't really know how to express my feelings, and it hurts me sometimes. Friendship is one of the most important thing to me, I could do anything for my friends. I don't trust easily cos I've been hurt a few times. I feel very lonely sometimes. I love it when I feel like somebody finally understands me, but it feels unreal for me to think that I'm important to someone. I'm a complicated person eh?
