#harmonycoffee

[dissimulations]

I took some pretty fancy photos today. :)

[sciencebruce]

Thrift store shopping.

Today is thrift store shopping day. I’m looking for a table I can paint blue.

I’m starting up north and working my way back down, and you bet your ass I will be avoiding downtown while Hoopfest is going on. Basketball tournament. Ugh. Last year people got shot. Welcome to eastern Washington.

Also, today is Harmony’s one year anniversary. Please congratulate her for being a successful small business owner and be jealous of my free anniversary tea.

[dissimulations]

Quotable quotes of the day:

"I can't think when I'm thinking. I can only think when I'm not thinking." - Drunk 13 year old boy

"I'm not a fan of your purple hair. I should be since I like dogs, but I'm just not. Anyway, that's not the point. I came here to say that I have 2 lady friends who have boyfriends. That proves you should give me your number since I'm not a dick." -Giant Penis

"Murmphle grackor patoohey ohmph!" - Homeless man

[dissimulations]

Hellz no!

8 year old girl:You're the only one who knows how to make my coffee right!

Me: Wait, that 24 oz triple coffee was for you?

Little kid: Ya I drink them all the time! You need to write down the recipe! 

Me: Hells no little kid. I don't share my secrets so other people can profit on my awesome. Go get a job! Find out how real life is... Na, I'm just playin! I'll tell you how to make it... *writes down incorrect recipe* 

(Sucker)

[dissimulations]

Curious about some of the chats I have at my coffee stand?

Here are the highlights from this morning...

P: Good God gurl! If I weren't married I'd hit that ass of yours!! 

Me: I never can catch a lucky break. 

P: I mean it! YOU'RE ASS IS FINE!

Me: Thanks, you're not making me feel awkward at all. 

P: I'm sorry, it's just, hey are you single?

Me: Sorry, the blender is on so loud I just can't hear you.

P: *Confused look* The blender isn't on, you're standing at the window.

Me: *flips on blender*

___

B: My niece is getting her ingrown toenail removed today!

Me: uhhh

B: They had to cut it out of her it was so bad.

Me: Stop it!

B: Oh I know it! It was so swollen and red. You know I get them sometimes but I just dig them out.

Me: No no no! STOP!!!Ahhhhh! Not listening...

B: Oh God I know! They are just awful and so painful. I get them on my right foot and on the toe next to the big toe on my left foot.

Me: *gag sounds* B----- stop! 

B: Tell me about it! You really should've seen my nieces though. It was this big around *hand gestures the size of an apple* I don't think she's going to go to school. They had to drain the puss from it...

(I'll save you from the rest)

___

Random customer I've never seen: I love SPOKANE! You guys have the cheapest weed here!!! I LOVE SPOKANE!

Me: HAHAHA! (I don't know why this struck me as hilarious but it did and I couldn't stop laughing.) 

R.C.I.N.S.: Don't ever move to Tennessee! They are ridiculous there.

Me: Sound advice. Thank you.

[sciencebruce]

Is your refrigerator running?

I called Harmony and tried to prank her, but she foiled my plan. Punk.

[sciencebruce]

Who does that?

I just got back to campus from an hour-and-a-half nap. In my car. It was kind of cool, because it was raining and it soothed me right to sleep. It was also kind of cool, literally. I had to pull my wool coat over me because I was freezing. Also, super uncomfortable. I may be able to do 55 of the 64 Kama Sutra positions, but none of them have to do with being in a car. But hey, hour-and-a-half nap, and I'm ready to go for another five hours of class! Someone please fast-forward to when after class gets out and we're all meeting at the bar.

[sciencebruce]

I was telling Harmony what she (or anyone) would have to do if she wanted to impress me. The number one thing on the list: Kill a lion with your bare hands and then carry it to me and present it at my feet. So she drew me this picture of a lion she once killed with her bare hands. I must say, I AM impressed.