#harrigson

[steddie-lyfalling]

Steve's bi-realisation coming from watching gangly limbed Eddie Munson running track for PE credit and those Hawkins High Shorts ™️ showing off so so much leg.

And he's so pale and littered with tattoos. And the second Eddie finishes his last lap he dramatically falls on his ass, sitting with his legs splayed on the brick red track.

And in Steve's head the exact words "those legs are like a spilled notebook of crude doodles and glorious art" followed immediately by "am I writing fucking mind poetry about Munson's white boy legs? fuck am I gay?".

He will learn about bisexuality in 14-22 months and a lot of things will click into place.

[steddie-lyfalling]

Finally

"Stevie, can you come here for a minute!"

"Yeah sure Ed's, what's up?"

Steve doesn't rush to Eddie's room, guessing it's just another tiny spider in need of relocation. So, empty glass and junk mail in hand Steve is not particularly prepared for Eddie's state when he stops in Eddie's doorway. Eddie seems harried, sitting in the middle of the floor seemingly packing up everything he owns.

"You going on a trip I don't know about?"

Steve huffs a slightly nervous laugh. Maybe Eddie's energy isn't cause for panic, maybe it's good news, maybe the band has a gig, maybe the band has been signed! Maybe that would be cause for Steve to panic, he's not prepared himself for a goodbye.

Just as Steve's thoughts start to spiral Eddie's words fall out of his mouth in a hurry, tripping over one another, a mix of soft panic and loud mumbles.

"No. Yes. Fuck. Maybe?... I have to move out. Maybe move in with Robs and Chris? Or maybe you should move in with them, or they could move here and I could go there, their place is smaller, so three would fit better here. Oh shit! I haven't even spoken to them yet. This is a mess. I'm a mess. Fuck."

"Hey hey, Eds calm down, what's wrong, huh? Why do you have to move out? We've lived together for what, five years? My damp towel problem can't be that bad?"

By now it's all panic, a panic Steve is heroically (if he does say so himself) managing to put aside, in lieu of an aura of calm he's attempting to put off. Lowering himself to sit next to Eddie, not quite touching but close enough that Eddie can take the physical comfort if he needs it. Steve laughs again, a small huff of amused air, levity.

"How can you make jokes at a time like this!? I've literally just realised I've been in love with you for five years, maybe more? Probably more! Definitely more!... And I'm gay!? What the fuck? Gay!?..."

Breathing is no longer Eddie's friend, hyperventilation has taken that role.

"...And I don't know how to turn this love off so I can't live with you until I'm over it and we can just go back to normal. Well, a normal where I want to kiss men I guess."

"Woah woah, that's a lot to take in Ed's. I'm gonna have to sit down..."

During Eddie's impromptu confession, there's a chance Steve lost his calm air, along with oxygen to his brain. He is already sitting.

"You're in love with me?"

"Of course I am you gorgeous idiot. And if I'd worked out that straight guys actually want to kiss girls, and not their very not girl best friends, sooner I could've already gotten over it and this wouldn't be happening!!"

"You're in love with me...."

"For five plus years, yes. And oh my god you're going out with that girl from work, Stacey? Sandra? Sally? The pretty one with the blonde hair and the hips..."

Steve really wants Eddie to stop talking, to get his head out of his hands, to look at him, to say the words again. But Steve can't move.

"...That's how I found out. You haven't been on a date in five years Stevie and then you mentioned her and this buzzing, bubbling feeling inside me was so intense, I've never felt anything like it, I'd never been jealous before, and there you were saying it was probably time for you to go on a date, and all I could think was why not me? We hang out on Friday nights. We watch Gilmore Girls until the early hours. We make dinner for each other and fall asleep on the couch together after a long day at work. Then... Fuck. Am I jealous? Fuck. I'm in love with Steve! Fuck. I'm gay. No wonder Mindy in the 9th grade didn't make my knees weak. Fuck. I have to leave. And here we are."

Finally Eddie takes a breath, letting his arms fall to his lap, briefly using them to wave around the room, emphasising the current, this, of it all.

And finally, finally Steve can move, turn to Eddie and say something.

"Eds, look me in the eye and tell me you love me, romantically, like you really do. I need to know you're not messing with me."

Eye to eye, finally.

"Steve Harrington, I love you. I have loved you since I met you, and although I've only been conscious of it for less than 48 hours, it is the most honest and passionate feeling I have ever felt in my entire life. And if you need me to I will push it away and hold it at arms length to still be your friend but I fear it will still stay with me until the day I die."

Steve could cry, maybe he already is. His hands reach out, cupping Eddie's cheeks, not only forcing his gaze but brushing the soft skin under his thumb, holding him in a way he's always wanted permission to, that has finally been granted.

"Fuck. Fuck Eds. I've been in love with you since the week before we got this place. I've known about it, and felt it, and kept it at arms length. I thought maybe you were ace or something? You never mentioned girls, or guys, or anyone for that matter. I figured romance wasn't for you. I didn't want to scare you away. The only reason I went on that date was because Robs told me it was time to move on. I wish I'd done that sooner. Fuck. I am so in love with you, and I am going to need you to kiss me right now before I wake up."

They crash together, finally.

The End.

[steddie-lyfalling]

Steve Harrington knew what he was, he'd known for a little while now, he knew it simply and eloquently. Steve Harrington was, is, always will be, a placeholder.

Placeholder friend, placeholder son, placeholder boyfriend, placeholder brother, placeholder king. He existed for one reason, to be everything for someone, everything they needed. And, for a time, to feel that love and that everything in return. There until someone is more. More than he could ever be, more than needed. Wanted.

Nancy Wheeler had needed him for a while, a charming boyfriend who boosted her social status. She had needed someone to talk to, someone nice to look at, someone loyal with a good easy future ahead of him. But she wanted someone who would talk back, who was booksmart like her, who was interesting as well as interested. So she found that someone and walked away.

Dustin Henderson needed a big brother, some help with the "fairer sex" (Dustin's words), hair care tips and, along with the whole group of young little misfits, someone physically strong, broad and tall to protect them from monsters. Steve can already see this one waining, the wants outweighing the needs, who would want a bitchy older brother when you could have one who connects to your world, who plays your games, someone aloof and nerdy, dark and goofy, smart and funny. Someone better.

Even his parents had needed a child to carry their name and their status, but wanted a freedom he couldn't provide. Wanted a pride they could not find in him.

Robin will be the next to go, that one will hurt the most, she's basically a whole half of his own soul at this point, a full part of him. She's his everything. But college will be a whole new world, one where Steve's quips won't hold weight amongst Robin's new intellectual friends, where Steve's questioning nature about himself and his own sexuality won't hold a candle to the actual queer culture she's sure to find herself diving into. At least she'll call, she's too good, to perfect of a person, she'll stop needing him but she'll know he can't stop wanting her, so she'll call.

The thing is, it's all well and good figuring out your place in the world, how you fit around other people's lives. But it still hurts. It always hurts. It will never not hurt. Because hope, hope is a terrible thing, a thing that covers you in twisted vines until you can't see beyond the beautiful green of it, so when it's brutally stripped away darkness floods your vision and you cannot deny the loss. Hope hides the poison of loneliness, so, when it is pulled away, it's sweetness gone, it highlights the bitter poison left in its wake.

Thankfully, now he knows what to expect, he can prune and manage that hope, keep the green from obscuring his vision, keep the saccharine sweetness from disguising the poison. Leaving only a small tinge of green in the corner of his eye, and the bittersweet taste of liquorice on his lips. Of course the poison still burns his throat and eats away at his vital organs, but now he can see it being administered. Now he can't fall as far backwards.

The Eddie Munson of it all seems to have other ideas. Ever since meeting Eddie, properly meeting Eddie, and knowing Eddie, properly knowing Eddie, all Steve has seen is bright leafy green.

[steddie-lyfalling]

Anyone else write fanfic in their head to go to sleep? Well have mine...

"When?"

It was an abrupt interruption, he knew that, but there was no way Eddie was going to let Steve keep talking when he could barely hear him past the roaring of blood in his ears and the barrage of questions stumbling to the tip of his tongue.

"I'm sorry-"

"When? When did you start looking at me like that? When did you decide I was a good person, a person that deserves anything but animosity from someone as wonderful as you? When did you start seeing this person you're describing and not the one I see in the mirror? Actually no, screw that, it doesn't matter when! Why? How? What the fuck!?"

Steve looked confused; confused, overwhelmed and timid? Maybe shouting self defamatory questions during a confession, a love confession (but seriously what the fuck!?) wasn't the best way to handle it.

The thing is, Eddie feels the same. Head to toe gone for the guy now staring at his hands, picking at his cuticles. The guy that was, mere seconds ago, proudly and nervously confessing how he felt for Eddie. And he's already fucking ruined it. Jesus.

Imagine holding your bare bleeding heart in your open palms, offering it sheepishly to another to hold and that person. Eddie. Just pushes that offer back and shouts "Why? What? Where?... When?" Seriously?! C'mon dude.

"Shit, sorry. Stevie, take my hands, please?"

Thankfully in that moment, Eddie's voice managed to be calm, inviting, his bare bleeding heart held out in his open palms and Steve gingerly placed his alongside it. Holding Eddie's, only slightly shaking, thank you very much, but clammy as all hell, hands and finally looking back into his eyes.

"Rewind? Can we go back to the part where you were saying how kind I was? Before I shoved my foot right in my mouth and started shouting around it? Before I immediately disproved your kindness theory? And this time, Stevie, this time I'm going to stay quiet until you're done. But know the second you give me the nod, I'm going to tell you about every single wondrous part of you, the big and the small, and how every single wondrous part of you made me fall in love in every single way imaginable, and it's going to take hours, weeks, years actually. But you were the brave one you get to go first."

A small gentle smile creeps across Steve's, so handsome, so fucking handsome and cute and god!, face and looking deep into Eddie's eyes he starts from where he left off.

"Eds, you are so kind, and sweet, your heart is bigger than the universe. Your self control could use some work..."

[steddie-lyfalling]

"Hey"

"Hi"

Those were the only words spoken before they were slowly leaning into each other's space. Passers by wading through the syrupy sweetness that surrounded them. Their moment, finally here for the taking, as their lips met with a softness that knew this would not be their last kiss.

"Jesus. Why does every romcom end like this!?" As the screen faded to black in the near empty cinema Eddie couldn't help his exasperation. He dropped his tone mimicking the two men he'd just seen on screen "Hey. Hi." And with that slammed his hands together making obscene squelching noises that Steve couldn't help but laugh at.

"Yeah, well, some people probably do have moments like that, you're just jealous!"

The lights in the theatre slowly rise as the credits come to an end, but all Steve can see is Eddie's wild hair as he turns in faux shock toward him. Hand on heart and pure drama in his deep brown eyes. "Jealous! Me! I take nothing but offence good sir!"

The clearing of a throat reminded the two they were not alone, as Robin's head bobbed into vision and drew their attention back.

"I mean, I'm a little jealous. Hawkins may have progressed to showing a singular gay kiss, on one screen, at ass o'clock in the morning on a random Thursday, but it's still backwards enough that we're the only three dinguses in attendance. I'd say I'm quite a way off of having a sensual make out with a girl in the middle of the street!"

"Bobs, you'd have to actually talk to Nace first." Steve knew he'd made a grave error bringing up Robin's colossal crush on Nancy Wheeler, but they were in good company, and said good company was sitting between them so Robin's uncoordinated attack mainly landed on Eddie.

"Hey. Hey. I didn't say anything about your poorly hidden moon eyes for Wheeler, this is not fair! I'm an innocent bystander! By-sitter?" He pondered still being gracelessly slapped on his chest and arm, but he'll be honest the seat was facing a majority of the blows. "Could you please slap Harrington upside the head when we're outside and you have a clean shot!?"

"Fine." Ceasefire somewhat agreed, all three began to rise from their seats.

Only as they stood did either of the boys notice quite how close they'd been in the safety of the dark, leaning into each other's space, pinkies almost interlaced and forearms fully passing each other's warmth back and forth over the armrest, knees touching, sneakers and heavy boots mere millimetres apart. One forceful cough and they would've basically been straddling one another. And given that Robin's oddly knowing look seemed aimed both their ways, this was getting stupid, one of them had to break, they needed to talk.

A simulations shudder racked its way through the two men as they realised they were, at most, days away from talking about their feelings with one another.

Horrifying.

[steddie-lyfalling]

I thought about writing this myself, but don’t think I could do it justice.

Steddie fic. Based on ‘All The Pretty Girls’ by Fun. I just feel like there’s so much potential for the usual Eddie fare of “but Steve could date all these beautiful women” and Steve being fully “fuck off, I want you” ALL THE PRETTY GIRLS CANT MEASURE TO YOU dumbass

Or

Steve’s realisation that he keeps striking out, because he talks about Eddie so fucking much, and none of the women he tries it on with are good enough, maybe even a “if only Eddie were a woman, I’d jump his bones, it’s not like he’s even unattractive as a guy, he’s fucking gorgeous, and I just want to spend every minute with him, I really wish I wasn’t straight… oh” Robin just nodding slowly as he works it out.

Anyway, if anyone’s looking for something to write. Please.

[steddie-lyfalling]

I need fic recs.

Steddie. Maybe S3 au. Maybe Dad!Steve. Maybe Steddie!Dads. Maybe slow burn friends to lovers post s4 everybody lives. Lots of Robin. Maybe Steve-centric. Something fun, maybe a bit light, realistic emotion driven. Good banter between the boys. Never against background Ronance.

Honestly pretty much anything. Only thing I don't read is A/B/O or either of the boys as monsters, just not my cup of tea.

Thank you 🙏

[steddie-lyfalling]

I need someone with talent to either write or draw a better version of this.

Steve. In his kitchen alone. Summer. Crop top, little shorts (optional but preferred). Patio doors open. Abba. An impassioned performance of Dancing Queen. Sweaty (probably).

Eddie. Knocks on the door, no answer. Goes round the back. Sees said impassioned performance. Is so quiet until the end. Can't help himself. Before Steve has time to be embarrassed by being caught he's being kissed. Good kiss. Great kiss even. Like 20/10 kiss.

Either immediately after or at some point in their future Steve asks how Eddie knew he could kiss him. "How did you know I wouldn't like punch you!? I could've been homophobic." And Eddie just responds. "Oh, sweetheart, the way your hips were moving to Abba you had to at least be bisexual."

That is all. I need that.