Stronger than she thinks - Part 1
Triggers warning: mental and physical abuse, violence, swearing
I hope you guys will like this story, I wanted to translate my main fanfiction “Broken Glass”, but this plot came out and I wanted to write it, so here it is!
Part 2
Fanfiction | Archiveofourown | Wattpad
It had been a week since his dirty hands had touched me. My soul seemed to have vanished since then. My smile was long gone same as the spark in my emerald eyes. My life took a tragic turn because of Brent. He was Eric's consultant and I was Harrison's. So I had to work with both of them from time to time; it was horrible to face the bastard.
He raped me, humiliated me, and dishonored me. And there was no way to brought justice upon him. If I spoke to anyone about this, everyone would turn their back on me. Dauntless was all about being strong to stand up for another and I failed to defend myself. Nobody would count on me, I'd be a loner or worse I could end up factionless for my cowardice.
Hopeless and lost, I wandered the hallways. Keeping my eyes glued to the ground, I avoided everyone. My emotions were upside down. It was unnerving to feel that weak. Brent broke me deeper than I thought. The memories swirled around my mind day and night. The feel of his body on mine, his hands all over my skin, his lips on mine, his low grunts, the excruciating pain; all of this haunted me.
I couldn't forget myself. I should've done something, anything to get rid of him. I'm glad to be off duty for a few days. Harrison knew me too well to not notice that something was wrong with me. I've spent a lot of time with all leaders during my training. I pretty much get along with everyone, even Eric, sort of.
I annoyed him less than most of Dauntless. We could have decent conversations and we even had joked around one another at some point. That's what turned Brent against me. He couldn't stand how Eric would listen to my observations and opinions more than his. Jealousy was dangerous in a crazy man's head.
My footsteps carried me to the empty training room. This was huge, full of various pieces of equipment to train and get stronger. The punching bags were in the farthest corner. I went to one of them and began to punch over and over again. My forceful punches echoed on the rough fabric of the bag which scraped my knuckles every time. Brent's head replaced the bag in my mind; it made me feel so good to imagine blood all over his face.
As my knuckles opened to let blood flow, the door opened and closed itself with a loud creaking noise. I let out an annoyed sigh while my fist crashed more harshly on the orange bag which swung back and forth under the impact. I was proud that my technique had improved since my initiation here. I was strong and proud or so I thought. I felt agonizingly weak since last week. Heavy footsteps resonated through the room and stopped near me. I didn't steal a glance at whoever it was; I couldn't care less right now.
"If you want to lecture me, I suggest that you do it later" I warned, punching the bag again, splitting my knuckles further.
"You're going to break one of your knuckles if you carry on like this."
The cold voice couldn't be mistaken it was Eric in flesh and bones.
"Never mind it will heal as every wound. Why do you care Eric, don't you love when blood drips? My knuckles are fine, I am fine. Everything is fine!" The last part was practically shouted.
"Excuse me it's so obvious. You radiate of joy it is overwhelming even for me." Sarcasm was dripping down his low voice. "Seriously Chris what is it this time?"
"I don't need a babysitter, so would you please leave me alone." I countered back, plunging my eyes into his steely irises.
"No." His voice boomed across the room. "I'm done with you and your petty tantrums. Can't you just spit it out? Something's bothering you lately, and it's different from your daily annoying self." He sighed while pinching the bridge of his nose.
I noted he did it a lot when he was around me. It was clear that it was to avoid jabbing me in the face. Nonetheless, his words bothered me. Did he also notice something wrong with Brent? I hoped not. Eric was too smart and I feared that he already had put some pieces together.
"I'm sorry Eric but I didn't sign up in Dauntless to become a tree hugger by spitting my feelings to you," I said rolling my eyes in annoyance.
"Do I look like some peacemaker to you? I'm here to warn you. The leaders are talking a lot about you lately. Your odd behavior is questioned and it will get you fired sooner or later. And I can't save your sorry ass for much longer."
What did I do to deserve Eric's help? The question remained as I weighed my next words. His warning sounded more like a promise that he'll ditch my ass next time. Losing my job was no bother now, I would be happy to get permanently away from Brent. My life was not what it used to anymore anyway, so losing my job was a detail at this point.
"Thanks, Eric but you're not obliged to save my sorry ass. I don't ask for any favor." My smirk didn't please him judging by his frown.
"Don't play this game with me, Chris." His threatening voice sent shivers down my spine. "Now, would you tell me what's going on?" Now his voice held a foreign concern.
The silence stretched some time. I couldn't find the right words, ones that will not raise any suspicion. I struggled to breathe evenly under his watchful stare. Eric would not let go now. I was fucked no matter what.
"I can't." My voice merely a whisper. "I have to deal with it by myself." I bit my lip, unsure if it was enough to satisfy his curiosity.
His hand moved to settle on my shoulder. The contact made my body stiffen. I couldn't stand being touched since my rape. My eyes closed instantly and I shuddered. When I opened them Eric was a few feet away. I could see the cogs turning in his mind. I was ready to bolt away from him to escape the suffocating tension when he spoke again.
"Sometimes you have to rely on someone to move on. It's not cowardice to admit when you need help."
I didn't have time to react that he was already walking away. I watched him until the door closed behind his retreating back. What the hell just happened? Someone must have bewitched Eric that's the only explanation for his human reactions. I promised myself to avoid him like the plague from now on.
My best friends, Jenna and Kate, decided to break into my apartment to confront me. I suppose they were upset that I avoided them for the last few days. Nobody should know this though, not even my friends since childhood. I felt horrible to walk into them, sitting on my couch, hands crossed over their laps like mothers ready to lecture their child. I felt guilty and ashamed seeing worry plastered on their usually cheerful features. That was certainly not my day. Everyone seemed to seek answers I wasn't ready to give yet.
"Chris you can't be ghosting us anymore. Please tell us what's going on." Pleaded Jenna.
Her reaction was out of her character which indicated that she was more than worried about me. Jenna was the wild one, always up to something, a real bundle of energy. Now she looked tired. Dark bags adorned her vibrant brown eyes and her skin looked paler than usual. My gaze fell on my carpeted floor and I let out a quivering breath. I was the worst friend ever.
"I can't tell you what's going on. I'm so sorry to worry you this much but I need some space and time right now."
My poor explanation sounded wrong. I heard loud huffs then deep sighs. Was that the end of our lifelong friendship? No. I refused to lose them because of Brent, because I was afraid and a fucking coward. My head shot up just in time to see them getting up, ready to leave. Kate's baby blue eyes bore into me as she shook her auburn hair in disappointment.
"I thought that you trusted us. That we were sisters. We're meant to share our secrets and support each other no matter what. We've vowed to always be there for one another, but you don't let us. We don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what to do to get my best friend back." Her soft voice cut through me.
I stared at her. My mind was a plain blank page. The deafening silence crushed me. Indeed, the worst friend ever. I couldn't let them be there for me because it would destroy them. I knew it was a false excuse. I wouldn't handle the whispers, the pointed looks, the rumors. I would be the girl Brent-raped. And I wasn't going to let it happen if I could prevent it.
"Say something, Chris." Ushered Jenna.
I look at them mouth agape, not one sound came out of it. Kate sighed then made a sign for Jenna to follow her out of my apartment. I felt my heart broke into pieces. I've lost my sisters' trust. Tears were drained a while ago.
I took my old guitar which sat in the corner of my bedroom. A gift Jenna and Kate gave me for my twentieth birthday. The memory drove me back to the past. I've spent the night playing sad melodies, trying to soothe my aching heart. I remembered my life before this horrible night. It was so easy to live back then. I hoped tomorrow would be better or I could lose my sanity.
