:: ‘I’m going to mess this up.’
Birds of the same flock. Murderers, they all have the same glint in their eyes - whether they murder on purpose or not. If your hands were once bloodied, a life taken, you’re marked a murderer, no reason to make up for it. Haru found it a little more easier to open up to people in the same field of career as her, taking people’s lives and being up to no good. The two of them had met due to a client - under a rather complicated circumstance, nonetheless, she decided to keep in touch with this man incase she needed an aiding hand.
One phone call and there she was, sat in the dimly lit pub with rarely any customers, the music echoing all over the place with the tip of her pointer finger grazing over the neck of the glass with liquor filled in it half way, sitting next to the man. Their conversation was hushed, almost as if they were exchanging secrets – of course, Haru rarely ever speak about herself. That was one of her redeeming qualities, she knew how to listen. And by listening, she had sharpened her wisdom to deal with things in life.
Yet, despite the fact that she had no opened up to the man about stealing identities, just the whole ‘I murder people for a living, though I don’t do it everyday’ part of her story, she decided to let her guard down, just for tonight. He was rambling about how he wouldn’t be able to finish the task he was assigned to be here for. They were mere humans, and she speculated that he might have his own fears.
Heaving a soft sigh, she turned her head to look at him, a rather awkward smile plastered across her pale facade, dark locks cascading against her shoulders before taking a sip of the beverage. “Do you honestly not believe in yourself? It’s such a shame, Yamamoto-ssi. I took you for someone who wouldn’t step back easily. I’m not one with soothing words, I’m just here to give you a reality check. Don’t let your thoughts get to you. If you need help, you know I’m more than what meets the eye.”
He didn’t know what brought him to dial her. One minute he’d been thinking straight, but after a few glasses in his hand, everything was blurry. Yet nothing seemed to lift the burden on his shoulders. His whole body felt tense, more so than when he first arrived. Despite the blurred lines of his thoughts, it made every emotion he felt feel more connected than before. He cursed at the alcoholic beverage in his hand, but waved at the bartender for more. But he knew what he was waiting for at the end of it all. He was waiting for a particular girl to waltz into the room, sit beside him, and listen to him while he spoke of his worries. She’d listen, and when she did, she’ll give him a figurative slap in the face. He knew she would. She wasn’t soft like the others.
“If I fail, all those lives are going to be forgotten.” His body shook at his words as if they were poison slipping off his tongue. He closed his eyes, leaning closer to her so that no one could hear their exchange. “I’m going mess this up. I know I am. I’m not ready. I’m too weak with the way I am now. I care too much. I’ve got so much —”
He bit off the ending of his sentence. He didn’t dare to finish it. Instead, he opened his eyes and gulped down the toxic beverage. Somehow the sting of it made the pain in his head feel numb for only just a second. But when he heard her speak, he couldn’t help but look at her. He stared at a pained smile, one full of holes and unwarranted pity. It was awkward in every way, but it was the only one she could offer him. He nodded at her words, took them in one by one and dissected it as they wandered through his intoxicated mind. “During this time, someone I knew died because of me. If I’m going to take those steps forward, I’m going to have to do it alone. Or at least with someone experienced.” His grip around the glass had nearly broken it if it weren’t for the bartender slapping the wooden bar and pulling it away from his grip.
“But I know. That’s how you’re different. That’s how I know you’re not like the others because you’re like me in more ways than one.” He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. “But you and I are still not the same person.” It was the truth. He didn’t know all her capabilities and to be honest, she felt colder to him than all the people he’s met in this foreign land. Moving the stool so that his body faced hers entirely, he gave her a stern gaze. “But if you’re offering help then you must want something. Money? You’ve got that don’t you? Is there something in particular you wanted for offering me assistance?”
