Sick of polls about heroes and duos? Want a poll about guys who hate? Guys who loathe? Guys whose raison d'être is just to suck, like, so bad?
INTRODUCING: the Hater Bracket, a single-elimination competition to find the Biggest Hater in All of Fiction. Your Iagos, your Yzmas, your Syndromes, your GLaDOSes: characters whose primary motivation is a grudge against one specific person or group for some (perceived) slight—the pettier the better.
Entrants will be judged on:
Proactivity: ok, so they're a hater, but what do they do about it? Anyone can hate, but a true hater puts everything they have into their effort to screw over the person who's wronged them.
Pettiness: how "wronged" has this person been, anyways? Did the object of their hatred kill their entire family in front of them, or were they just less than perfectly 100% accommodating once and the hater has literally never gotten over it?
Successfulness: is a successful hater or a failed one a "better" hater? You be the judge!
Overall panache: The "x factor" of haterness. Did they hate with swag? Were they super eloquent in their monologue that basically boiled down to "oh my god I hate that guy SO MUCH"? If not, was it at least funny to watch them fume incoherently?
Submit a hater here. Nominations are closed; you can still submit through the ask box, but we reserve the right to point and laugh at you if you do.
FAQ below the cut.
FAQ:
How do I navigate this blog?
With the tags!
#mod post - housekeeping stuff
#hater polls - bracket polls
#hatemail - asks
#haterprop - propaganda (asks and reblogs)
#hb off topic - anything that isn’t housekeeping or a poll
How will competitors be selected?
Mod discretion. Note that we will be more likely to select haters that we either know, have friends who know, or that come with a good explanation of their hater-ness (that is verifiable by google) in the submission. Stuffing the ballot box, as it were, will have zero effect, since the bracket is not selected by number of nominations.
How many characters can I submit?
As many as you like.
Can I submit real people?
No. This is a bracket for fictional haters. Real-life haters are way less cool and fun anyways.
Note: Real people who have been sufficiently fictionalized (either in one piece of media, or multiple), and real people who play a public “persona” that is separated from their actual private life & beliefs do qualify for the purposes of this tournament.
What about [MCYT/celebrities/other thing where people play ambiguously fictionalized versions of themselves]?
Sure, but if we think it isn’t sufficiently fictionalized, we won't include it.
What about...?
Submit it if you want! In the worst case I simply won't include it, in the best case I will.
How many submissions has _ gotten?
We will release a full tally of submissions after nominations close. We are working on tallying up all the submissions! We will post a full list once we’ve cleaned it up sufficiently. Until then, we will not be answering any questions about how many nominations any particular character has gotten.
good news, haters! the bracket is now fully filled out (with a whopping 64 characters! well, 65, if we count the one entry that's actually a duo...), and almost all the contestants have quotes associated with them & their haterdom as well! so we should have the competition finally ready to start sometime within the next week!
should non-fictional, non-fictionalized haters (ex, anon from tumblr) be allowed in the main bracket?*
no, it literally says “FICTION’S biggest hater” right there, stick to ur tagline
yes, if it’s funny enough it should be allowed. fascist.
vanilla extract
i hate that you included vanilla extract
Voting ended onMar 27, 2023
*the outcome of this poll will Probably not change the circle of haters’ final decision, because we hate democracy. but vote anyway because Clicky Button Fun
Not to be a hater, but when is this bracket going to start?
my co-hater in chief is working on tallying submissions and judging which ones we hate right now, so the bracket should hopefully be finalized by the end of this weekend
now that submissions have closed, the final count is 384 submissions through the google form, and a handful more in the ask box from people who either don’t have google accounts (power to them!) or refuse to learn how to read (cringe).
A list of haters who are already in consideration for this bracket.
(Note: this list is neither final nor definitive. Haters listed here may be removed before the bracket is finalized or replaced by other, more compelling haters based on submissions we receive, but feel free to use this list as inspiration/reference for your own submissions.)
Iago (Othello): The OG of modern haters; the benchmark for both “scheming” and “blaming other people for things that really aren’t their fault”.
Poseidon (The Odyssey): Nothing says “hating” like delaying a guy’s journey home for ten years because you’re mad that he disrespected you once.
Yzma (The Emperor’s New Groove): See the “I’ll turn him into a flea” speech.
Haman (The Book of Esther): The winner if we were judging solely according to the pettiness/“disproportionate response to a minor slight” scale.
GLaDOS (Portal): Spends the whole game talking about how much she hates you. (The homoeroticism of her obsession is a feature, not a bug.)
