#hates that

[painted-bees]

I'm tipsy and thinking abt how margie being absolutely shitfaced drunk has consistently served to soothe Raf's paranoia each and every time it has happened.

Because when he gets drunk, he kinda becomes his worst self--the version of himself he has kind of internalized as being his "true" self; very reactive, defensive, spiteful, cynical, self pitying...

Margie drunk, on the other hand... is just... Margie, but more. Drunk margie is just... Margie on blast, lmao, more laughing, louder laughing, more affectionate, more vocal about all the things she likes and loves, more physically affectionate, more ridiculous. It's just her with all her filters and inhibitions removed, and so she's just... all of her traits are dialled to 10 and are largely socially unacceptable from anyone who isn't a lightweight drunk girl. She's a lot more trusting, too. Of everyone. She's usually very trusting, but unuprisingly, drunk margie is irresponsibly trusting.

If Raf's paranoia were to latch onto anything, it might be the notion that her drunken behavior is affirmation that he's not special--that she just acts and feels this way around literally anyone who's nice to her.

But that's not a very meaty bone for his thoughts to gnaw on--because it's always been very obvious that Margie just... loves people. And she loves being loved. She's been very straightforward about this since the very beginning. There were never any illusions about it. Still, his is the bed she returns to sleep in every night. None of these other motherfuckers at the party can say that for themselves.

When she drunkenly utters, "Let's head home," it's only ever to him.

[darkfire-draws]

Assorted Alex's from a little study with her face claim. Circled ones are the original drawings I did of her. I like the one with the stat coloured shirts, less sharp lines for her face looks good and suits her better

Also, potential revelations looks. Between the crash, it's injuries and needing to clean up her look and act for that Hollow Ground partnership, it's gotta be different.

[bornetoblood]

Headcannon solidified that Laurence was joking about desicrating god’s corpse like a week after it happened and that’s why Maria punched him which is why he’s missing some teeths.

[peachmusesa]

ofmiracles asked: it wasn’t the first time they fight over this-- over them hiding stuff from each other. couples fight all the time, and tatsuya never believed in such things as a ‘perfect couple’, his divorced parents being a prime example of that and frankly, he sometimes feels as if shuu was testing him, just to see when enough was going to be enough; when tatsuya was going to draw the line to just walk out that door and never comeback. even then, it was stupid to think of them both as a couple when they were just friends with too many benefits. “ don’t do that— don’t shut down on me. let me in. ” lips moved just to break the silence they had submerged in. tried to not even stutter since that wasn’t the point here, he never was one to guilt trip shuu. and maybe, he should actually do that just so the other stopped being so emotionally stupid.

anger as a coping mechanism / anger as a safety net / anger as a guiding light in the dark. violence thrums in him and he wonders , if not for the first time, if maybe he was born wrong. sometimes, he looks in the mirror and sees his father’s anger issues. he’s got his mother’s nose / and his father’s inability to let love in. he looks at himself and prays to a god that he does not believe in to allow him to be gentle and receives no answers but the want / need for blood on his knuckles.  he remembers his first fight -- remembers knocking someone out and remembers crying in his mother’s arms wondering if he was becoming his father. he remembers her gentle touch / of a hand smoothing down his hair , and her gentle coo’s of love. it was the first time he’s ever felt out of place in her arms. anger thrums in his veins instead of blood , a steady beat of ‘you’re alive’ / ‘i hate myself’ / ‘you’re alive’ / ‘i hate myself’/ ‘you’re alive’ , on repeat. maybe his mom saw too much of his dad in him back then.  today - today , it’s the same shit. different day. and he cuts his gaze away from tatsuya and his bitching about something. he’s not paying attention. ( he is / tatsuya’s words are like bullets that always hit their mark. his heart / crumbles , once hit. ) his jaw works , and his fist thrums. there’s things tatsuya doesn’t know / there’s things that no one knows. things that shuuzou doesn’t dare utter out-loud. like how his mother likes to pretend they’re a perfect family with no problems. like how shuuji’s anxiety eats at his throat in crowds and to combat that he pretends that he’s above everyone else. like how suzumes’ interests are ever changing because staying in one thing for too long is too much. like how his father doesn’t talk about throwing fists with him - and instead pushes everything off that he’s ever done wrong onto shuuzou’s shoulders. there’s things that tatsuya doesn’t know - that shuuzou doesn’t let him see because he cannot see past what shuuzou wants him to see.  because he cannot be known , deeply , truly , without fear of someone seeing past everything and seeing how dark his sea truly is.  tatsuya speaks , and shuuzou glances at him. tatsuya is good - he’s an asshole / got his own issues / but they’re not as bad as shuuzou’s own. he cannot break because if that pillar crumbles then what happens to everyone else that’s leaning on him ? he watches the other for a moment , lips twitching downwards briefly.  “ i am letting you in. ” he says finally, jaw working. “ and i hate it. hate you sometimes. because you’re there. and you want in and you’re not suppose to do that. ” he hates that someone wants to slice him open , examine him and see all the cracks in his foundation. hates that he can see the crumbling of the pillar that he’s suppose to be. tongue pushes against his teeth as he pushes himself up. “ i’m not talking about it tatsuya. give it up. ” he runs. he’s good at that. good at having something nice within his reach and fucking it up -- and he loves tatsuya and tatsuya is good. but shuuzou’s hands are coated in blood and bruises and his hands are too rough for tatsuya’s own. why can’t he see that ?  he really is his fathers son / incapable of loving something without ruining it. 

[sweetjebus-nickmillaah]

Had my alarm set for 7:30.... My boyfriend decides to call me at 7:28 2 precious minutes of sleep lost