#haverstein

[fic-request-blog]

Let’s Call it Fate* (*This Message Not Approved by Fate)

An anon here on Tumblr requested Jean-Ralphio Saperstein x Tom Haverford with “fluff”. As I’ve never watched Parks and Rec, I decided on a quick meet-cute AU. From my research, it seemed like the more ridiculous Jean-Ralphio was, the more on-brand this would be, so hope this is alright!

Gen, ~500 words, meet cute.

Let’s Call it Fate* (*This Message Not Approved by Fate)

Jean-Ralphio makes a sudden 360 and grins. Today is going to be a good day in a long line of good days.

He isn’t…stalking the cute guy in the park. It’s more like…prospecting? You never know when you might find a new business partner! And if they happen to be walking in the opposite direction in a park Jean-Ralphio will probably never go to again while it rains when he doesn’t have an umbrella? Well, you might as well just call it fate.

Yeah.

But, whatever, this guy is like the centerfold for a cute-guy-of-the-month calendar, okay? He’s literally tiny, barely even reaches above Jean-Ralphio’s shoulders, and has the effortlessly scruffy-hot look down to a T. Absolutely everything is right about this guy’s face too. Big, dark, expressive eyes dance as he animatedly talks into a cell and Jean-Ralphio keeps getting these flashes of perfect, pearly teeth when he smiles. And the way he smiles! Dude’s as adorable as a care bear with dimples.

And he’s wearing a full suit with matching dress shoes and has a big black umbrella! Clearly business partner material.

When they reach the edge of the park, cute guy puts away the cell and Jean-Ralphio knows now’s the time to make his move. Flicking his tongue over his lips, Jean-Ralphio slicks back his very wet hair, straightens his patterned silk scarf, probably ruined from this rain, but sacrifices have to be made in the name of good business, and puts on his most charming grin. Even sopping wet, Jean-Ralphio is stunning, he’s sure of it.

Game plan: First, compliment his snappy suit. Easy, he looks like a million bucks and his tie is the brightest shade of baby blue Jean-Ralphio has ever seen. Second, propose a business deal. He always has at least twelve on hand, so no problem there. Third, plan to meet for coffee. Simplest part, there’s a coffee shop literally anywhere he looks. Fourth and final, and most important, score cute guy’s number. Not even a question. It’ll be a cinch. He can already taste a hazelnut roast and the sweet, sweet flavor of business prospects.

“Excuse me, sir,” he starts off with, and smiles as the guy looks up, pretty eyes full of interest, “your suit is in excellent taste! The tie is better than ice cream.”

And there’s the dimples. Checking off number one!

“Oh,” he starts, glancing down at his own tie, “thanks man, it’s Bolvaint!” He looks up and grins.

Jean-Ralphio resists the urge to lick his lips and grins back, leaning in a little, “Bolvaint? Now that’s a fancy tie. I bet a businessman of such exceptional taste is probably looking for a deal to sink his teeth into right about now. Well, it’s your lucky day because we were fated to meet.”

Jean-Ralphio continues, gesturing smoothly towards the coffee shop down the road and the invitation is out of his mouth before the man can respond. Why wait for what could happen right now?

That’s two and three down, now for the most important!

“Or,” he cuts in, raising his hands and waiving them obligingly, because Jean-Ralphio is nothing if not the chivalrous knight this man must be looking for, “I can tell you’re a busy man; why don’t I take down your number and we can schedule our profitable first meeting?”

Cute guy’s mouth is open a little, caught in the fantastic whirlwind that is Jean-Ralphio in the flesh, and Jean-Ralphio finishes this all off with a literally award-winning smile (an award he’d made for himself in fact), arms held wide in invitation.

Clearly the man is in awe, because it takes him a few seconds to respond, “Oh, well, yeah, alright, sure! I am definitely a busy businessman. Coffee later then?”

With a short whoop, Jean-Ralphio nods vigorously, “Great, partner, let me walk you to your no doubt very important destination and we’ll keep talking right now!”

And, new cell number safely plugged into his phone, Jean-Ralphio checks off number four. Cute guy even offers to hold his umbrella over them both, which means next time Jean-Ralphio is inviting him back to his place.

He knew today was going to be good. Every day is good for the one and only Jean-Ralphio after all.

[fic-request-blog]

Hi! Bit of a strange request, but do you know Parks and Rec (the show)? Would you be interested in writing some Jean Ralphio Saperstein x Tom Haverford (Haverstein) fic? Maybe with fluff?? :)) If you're even taking requests rn!

Well anon, just found out Tumblr has not been updating me when I get asks so...not sure how long it's been, hope you're still out there. I know of Parks and Rec, but have not actually watched it. I know the short one (am unsure which is which by name) and think he is great, so I'm up for it. I'm usually good writing fluff, but since I don't know the characters well yet, would you be willing to send any kind of details as to what you'd like to see? Are we talking a lil date, cuddles, just some usual humor and shenanigans, a meet in the rain kinda thing, whatcha like? I'm currently in grad school, so am collecting requests and will write A LOT once I get out of grad school lol.

[parksandfluff]

Jean Ralphio and Tom!

Wakes up first: Tom usually does for his morning beauty ritual. By the time he's ready to go to work, Jean-Ralphio is barely starting to emerge from sleep, and he only gets a kiss before Tom has to leave. They see each other in the evening much more.

Sings in the shower: Jean-Ralphio, obviously. Although Tom sings to himself throughout the day, too. Sometimes Jean-Ralphio catches him and they make a duet out of it.

Makes breakfast every morning: Tom does, before going to work, and he does it for both of them because he knows Jean-Ralphio won't do it himself. Sometimes he leaves little notes under the plate for his boo to find when he's gone.

Is the first to think about adopting/having a child: none of them, they don't have children. Jean-Ralphio would be a HORRIBLE dad and Tom doesn't like children that much. They're too dirty.

Gets sick the easiest: Tom, clearly. He's so weak. Sad thing is he can't really count on Jean-Ralphio to help him get better, rather Jean-Ralphio will mimick his sore voice and tease him about it.

Loves to cuddle: both of them are very physical. Jean-Ralphio initiates contact a bit more often than Tom but it's really a mutual thing.

Falls asleep on the couch while they're watching a movie: Jean-Ralphio, because he can't really focus that long and just ends up falling asleep. Or rather, they start watching and end up doing something else, talking, making out, cuddling, whatever. When Tom really wants to see a movie, he does it without Jean-Ralphio because he knows Jean-Ralphio will often distract him.

Is super clingy: Tom is. He likes to hold onto Jean-Ralphio, go with him everywhere, he's definitely more insecure than Jean-Ralphio.

[parksandfluff]

Jean-ralphio and Tom can that be one??

I am pure Haverstein trash so of course it's okay!

who’s the cuddler: Tom omg he just wanna snuggle it up like li'l buuuuuunnies

who makes the bed: let's be real, if Tom doesn't do it, Jean-Ralphio wouldn't do it. Also Tom seems to be a rather orderly person. Tommy is my answer.

who wakes up first: probably Tom, too? I can see Jean-Ralphio sleeping in till ungodly hours.

who has the weird taste in music: Jean-Ralphio would. We've never seen that, but quite honestly, this is the man who had "Bend over" at his own funeral. He would definitely have the weirder taste in music.

who is more protective: Well, if we have to be perfectly honest, probably neither? Like, most definitely not Tom, he'd just crawl up in a ball and cry. And Jean-Ralphio had one spurt of protectiveness throughout the whole show (WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT MAN, THAT'S MY SISTER) but then it was all a big psyche, so really, I don't see him as protective.

who sings in the shower: I don't think I even need to answer that. We ALL know it's Jean-Ralphio. And outside the shower. And during sex. And in his sleep.

who cries during movies: God, Tom. He sobs like a little baby and Jean-Ralphio is like, let it flow, man.

who spends the most while out shopping: I think Tom SPENDS more only because Jean-Ralphio manages to get things for free (stealing, asking his dad, etc).

who kisses more roughly: I can see Jean-Ralphio being a bit more rough than Tom but generally, I like picturing the both of them as pretty smooth kissers.

who is more dominate: I'd say Jean-Ralphio, but really, is dominate a word you'd use to describe either of them? Just that Tom usually likes stronger women, so I like to think that might extend to men.

my rating of the ship from 1-10: 10/10 would ship again