shatter my muse ( accepting ) / @hawkinscursed
“ robin’s eyes narrow in disgust the second nancy’s confession leaves her lips. then she lets out a cruel laugh, giving a little shake of her head. “you like me? wow that’s - that’s fucking rich, isn’t it?” there’s that same cruelness reflected in her eyes. “after you broke my best friend’s heart, left him to pick up the pieces for it … and it didn’t even explain yourself. and betrayed him by practically cheating on him …” a scoff escapes now. “what did you think i’d like you back? after that, really? i’ve been nice enough to you because steve told me it was alright, but this friendship has to end right here and right now. now that i know you like me. god, no, i don’t want anything to with you now.” a pause before their eyes narrow again. “is that just what you do? you get yourself all attached to whoever’s nice to you and helps you through your shit and then you just what? play with their emotions? yeah, no thanks. i don’t want to end up like steve. so i’ll be on my way now. i hope maybe someday someone teaches you how it feels to fuck with people’s emotions like that. and i hope that’s the only thing i hear about you from here on out. goodbye nancy, forever.” and she stalks out of the room, not even giving the other girl a glance back. ”
Robin’s words hurt and Nancy was doing her best to not let it show - but, isn’t that how she got in this mess in the first place? Her good dam feelings, the ones she couldn’t voice - then the ones she could. It was like, no matter if she voiced them or kept them to herself, someone was bound to get hurt. Nancy was trying her best, she swears it. It’s part of why she told Robin of her feelings in the first place ; so there wouldn’t be a repeat of Steve, of Jonathan. Though, she knows she had been better at communicating her feelings when it came to Jonathan - almost to the point she was too blunt with him. It was like, no matter how she expressed herself, it wasn’t right. She felt tears in her eyes but, she is refusing to let them fall.
She hadn’t meant to hurt Steve back then, really she hadn’t but she knows she did - so she had distanced herself from him to let him heal from the pain she caused him because she couldn’t tell him about the storm in her head that was only getting worse. Hearing Robin tell her of the way she hurt him, it hurts - but, she can’t let her know that. If Robin thinks her so callous already, well, Nancy’s good at playing parts she can play this one too. “I just... wanted you to know,” It’s all she can find herself saying, it’s all she can say without her voice betraying her. Telling Robin just how much the words they’re saying hurts.
Honestly did Nancy expect anything from her confession? No, she just... she wanted it out there. To let Robin know, she didn’t think that this would have been the response that she would get in reply. Maybe, Robin is right - that all Nancy does is attach herself to the next living thing that shows her any kind of kindness that she can latch onto without thinking things through because she needs the safety. Maybe she does play with their feelings, even if she doesn’t mean too - maybe she should just stop trying. Maybe she should shut off all her emotions, they don’t seem to be something that work out for her anyway.
All Nancy can do as Robin walks away is watch, and hold back a sob that is threatening to spill from her lips. The sob builds in her chest until she can’t hold it back anymore, and it just spills out of her, and she clamps a hand over her mouth as tears roll down her face. Telling herself as she breaks down that this will be the last time. That, from now on - there will be no emotions coming from her. Because no feelings are better then feelings that get those she cares about hurt.
