#hazel wheeler

[ringford-adventures]

WHAT HAPPENED

We'll tell that artist I hired to... keep using their old forms, yes. They've already done much work based on them, and I bet I have some newspaper clippings of them lying around.

[ringford-adventures]

My beautiful Efflorescence shall not be taken by some... BEAST!

GET AWAY FROM MY ROSES!

What has she done to your perfect petals... your spiraling blooms... your gracious roots... oh, thank goodness, I'm not too late. It would have been a tragedy should you have been sanitized of this wonderful modification... look at how vibrant and glorious you are... my wonderful Efflorescence... Rugged like salty shores, yet serene like a clearing in the spring.

Come along now, we must hurry, my beautiful blossom, else we'll miss the election, and that means missing out on Consumption!

Eh? The door's closed. It's not... budging.

Don't tell me I'm trapped inside. They wouldn't leave their TEAMMATE, HAZEL trapped in the hall, would they?

... Hazel?

Where did she go?

Hello?! Adventures! Open this door! Immediately!

You wouldn't keep your Viper Zoologist trapped here for hundreds of days, would you?!

... Ah, fresh meat at last.

You...! Stay away from me, foul beast! You cannot kill Viper Zoologist permanently! I am a concept, I am the whole of living organisms! I can be an ant, a beetle, a tardigrade, a flock of crows, anything!

You still think you have a say in the matter. How cute. But it's time you stop prentending to be something you're not.

I could... I could...

I could even be a caracal.

[ringford-adventures]

The Beauty of Efflorescence

Efflorescence. The middle stage in this natural cycle. A Player at their full potential. How exquisite.

I know Pasketti Koda would be starving to get her claws on the succulent stems and surging strength within my Players. But I shall not allow her any more easy meals. Wither is off the menu. Efflorescence is off the menu. The Hall of Unmaking goes hungry once more.

What is her purpose besides destruction? So simple-minded and short-sighted. "Registering the ballpark" must have only been a front. Disgusting. When I see her again...

Hold on. There are roses in the Hall of Unmaking.

Hazel... covered in the beauty of Efflorescence... right in the clutches of a caracal.

This shall persist no longer.

No one messes with the Efflorescence.

[ringford-adventures]

They're doing a recall of the vending machines.

Wonder why?

oh no it's eating hazel

[ringford-adventures]

Boons are fun. I love pooling fitness energy together to make an Augment get powerful.

Everyone should have at least one boon, Lesser or Greater, by the end of this season.

Hazel Wheeler was made into a Giant, but for a duck, that meant just becoming a human-sized duck. Who would you rather take on in a fight: One human-sized duck or ten duck-sized humans? Not many would take the duck. Especially if it's Hazel. Hazel is real bad at hitting the ball, but when she gets it, she gets it. People really have to gawk at her while she's at the pond; she's more popular than the native wildlife.

Xavier Steele embraced their inner and outer badger and basically turned the pitching mound into a sandbox for a good week. Apparently, the Tenacious Badger boon does not really turn you into a badger, but it makes you "dig in". Considering I see them eating crickets and mealworms by the plateful... perhaps it's more of a constitution buff.

Morris Fletcher, a coyote, has become a dragon. Or something close to a dragon. Someone has to keep the fire department on speed dial every time he's up to bat. He doesn't look as old and frail because of this upgrade, but he still puts on an act. Probably to steal an audience member's wallet when they ask for an autograph.

Polycarp Friedman was touched by the fae, giving the cauldron dainty little wings, sparkly decor, and star patterns on its ladle. They were all so excited that they were screaming with joy at the transformation. So I think. It's made of cast iron and iridium, not like those are poisonous to anyone.

Kristen Kirk, the real underperformer of the Ringford Adventures, has tried to step up her game by riding a Great Falcon into the stadium. This makes her a UFO by ballpark definitions. The falcon is snowy white and named Cupcake, for the record. Kristen knows she still has a ways to go to being at her peak performance. This is why she's practicing by playing catch with her giant birds.

After all this time experimenting, Doc Martinez stepped into the dark side and summoned a demon in the Clubhouse. They were really trying to engineer a lemon tree for the greenhouse, so we wouldn't have to keep paying so much for lemonade. Still, Martinez and the demon really hit it off, so they engage in alchemy together, and the demon gets free seeds every 24 Earth days.

Genevieve Valdes worked with Claude Wilkerson to make a vehicle she could ride in, which is reminiscent of a toaster oven. This too is a UFO, since who in their right mind would fly a toaster? Genevieve would, howver, just so she wouldn't have to wear a weird portal device strapped to her arm the whole time she was playing. Her little clay figures do most of the pitching, but she's still the commander.

Lindsey Bodden is an all-rounder in terms of pitching, but gaining the Hunter's Mark evened out some rougher throws. Nothing big has changed, but she's pretty good at blasting water at a cat's whisker from 4000 feet away. That cat's whisker is Midnight's whisker, by the way. It can't catch a break. Lindsey continues to drink raindrops like they're snowflakes in winter, so nothing has changed at all. Just nobody tell her that collecting rainwater is illegal in some Ballparks.

[ringford-adventures]

You should see my better batters now.

Hot ziggity, as they say.

I'm turning someone into a robot. We can't get much lower. That's the ball game.

My team needs to learn to harness Fitness Energy if they're going to keep playing. It should be easy enough. We live in a glorified gym; there's enough of it to go around.

Hazel Wheeler maybe got hit by too many pitches. She is a magnet for pain despite being a small target.

What do pitchers have against ducks?

[ringford-adventures]

Don't talk about Kristen like that.