ok but balfour & body image and specifically learning to love his body again.
like, in verses like s.tar t.rek & d.ragon a.ge, he hates seeing himself because of all his scars & the blatant reminders of his failure, of what he's been through, etc. he actively avoids it, tends to cover up, etc. and it's a pretty long road to just accepting this part of himself again, which i do think goes hand in hand with him sort of... coming to accept that he isn't a failure because he couldn't save his family/mother. his scars aren't something to be ashamed of, they're just part of him, they're just his history.
modern balfour deals with a lot of issues where he thinks he needs to look a certain way, though. he's used to his only worth being in his good looks, with people wanting to sleep with him or whatever, and he feels an immense amount of pressure to have the perfect body. he takes a lot of roles that sort of demand it of him as well - he looks a certain way, he spends a lot of time in the gym, he's very active, and people have come to expect that from him. and balfour will always be active, he'll always love going for runs with his dog and going to the gym to zone out for a little while, but he's so much happier when he lets go of just his absolutely miserable routine with trying to keep in 'ideal shape'. i'm sure the press - and a lot of his 'fans' - say a lot of vile shit about him not being ripped anymore, and sometimes that does get to him. but, damn. absolutely fuck them, he's tired of putting in this much work to be The Sexiest Man Alive.
