#hcktivism

[ofthclight]

      ❝ i gave you my number for a reason, you know. ❞  her tone is light, but she casts a sideways, knowing look at patterson as they walk. their steps are slow, languid, neither of them really in a rush and for once nancy relishes in the fact that she actually gets to enjoy the coffee in her hands.  ❝ you can use it --- just know that if you call me for emergency medical advice, i’m returning the favor to call you every time my wifi is acting up. ❞          /         @hcktivism​ ! 

[ghostofaformerself]

PATTERSON, WILLIAM ( @hcktivism ) is a person of interest

     EVERYTHING HAS SHIFTED SO DRASTICALLY SINCE PATTERSON CAME HOME. rayne feels more like herself than she has in months, but there are still parts of her struggling to believe any of this is real.

     there's still this part of her unwilling to believe any of it is real. she's so terrified that it's all just her own mind creating an ideal world because the reality of patterson's death has become too much to handle.

     terror still rips through rayne whenever she wakes up to find patterson isn't in the bed or the room, she can't explain the way her stomach drops when pats says they're running to the store. rayne will barely leave the condo without patterson and always tries to find some reason to go with them anytime they're headed somewhere. none of this is healthy, and she's been trying so hard to bury it all in hopes that it'll go away, but this is where she has to draw the line.

     it's happening again. she thought the hallucinations were done, but clearly they aren't.

     ceramic smashes against the floor, coffee splattering everything in a one foot radius, when rayne turns to greet patterson only to be met with an image of paleness, sunken eyes, cracked lips, the distinct discolouration caused by a halting of the entire circulatory system.

     the brunette isn't breathing. she can't. the image of a dead patterson is fleeting, only lasting maybe five seconds, but it's enough to absolutely terrify rayne down to her bones. hands go up to cover her mouth, eyes are wide, and it takes everything not to scream.

[fyrewalks]

“ THAT WAS SORT OF THE POINT of me skipping town for the weekend. ” she offers an almost apologetic smile as she speaks, a little shrug. it’s a habit, a bad one, patterson knows this — running away, isolating herself. " next time i'll give you a heads up. pinky promise. " // @hcktivism

"That would be appreciated," she says, hating the dullness of her tone. Jemma doesn't dislike her position in Shield, but there's no denying that climbing the ladder has come with its own burden. It's moments like this that have her yearning for the simple days of old when she could hide herself away in her lab work. Any awkwardness that ensued could be explained away with how little she got out.

"If you do need to talk, you know we're all here," Jemma adds, voice brightening. She doesn't like the headache of admin nor the stress that resulted from Patterson's unexpected disappearance, but she hates the idea of losing sight of kindness even more. "Whatever it is that's bothering you, I'm sure one of use could help."

[astarborn]

@hcktivism interviewed ally: “the last thing i did was lie to him.” 

WELL, SHIT. THAT MAKES TWO OF THEM—— almost immediately her head looks across the room where the woman sitting across from her was located, having not have paid attention to most of the stories that that evening in the support group. it's not that she's self-absorbed to not want to listen to the struggles of all the others going through the same exact thing she was, not at all, she'd been too caught up in her own mind to focus on anything but her own mental anguish. patterson's words were enough to snap her back down to reality; leaving ally to clear her throat, finally speaking up in the group once and for all. “——do you think he knew you were lying to him?”

[lorelaithesecond]

@hcktivism​ said   ⟶   “i’m married.”

100 RANDOM STARTERS,   accepting.

god,  that’s maybe the best news she’s ever heard!   a broad smile slips across her lips as she gasps in delight,   “married!”   weird how time passes  —  she can still remember when patterson was brand new to stars hollow like it was yesterday,   “wow,  look at that!  oh my god,  you’re married!”   this is exciting!  she’s excited,  oh she’s excited!!   “when can i meet him?  or her?  or... them?  am i using that right?  i’m trying to learn so i can help guests at the inn feel more comfortable,  you know?”   but that’s off topic,   “wow!  married,”   okay,  that’s the last time she’s gonna repeat it...  for the time being,  at least,   “i’m married,  you’re married.  oh my god,  do you know about my son?  i don’t know if you do!  luke and i have a kid!”

[archiveghostofaformerself]

WILLIAM PATTERSON / @hcktivism​ ; requests a consult

     SHE’S BEEN FOLLOWED, abducted, nearly killed, interrogated for weeks on end, survived four months thinking patterson was dead, had vivid hallucinations of the blonde–it’s been a fucking whirlwind since the beginning. but this? dinner with patterson’s parents? that is something else entirely. sure, she’s met them before, but this is a formal meeting. it’s so official and it’s utterly terrifying.

     ❝babe, are we sure this is a good idea? you’ve been gone four months, they probably want to spend some alone time with you not host your girlfriend.❞

[fortislumen-a]

​ @hcktivism​ gets a starter from jane [ SC. ]

❝ Hey, it's nothing. Just gonna leave some bad bruising that's all. ❞

[ghostofaformerself-archive]

WILLIAM PATTERSON / @hcktivism 

    SHE'S DOING IT AGAIN. REFUSING TO GO BACK TO HER APARTMENT. staying in the bakery working on things that can wait instead of trying to rest herself. it's not helping her any, it's making the hallucinations more frequent, worse. she's missing pieces of time now. rayne will look away for a moment, what she perceives as seconds, only to find that hours have gone by.      the same can be said for now. she swears she only looked away a moment, just two minutes, but it's been long enough for her to burn a batch of cupcakes practically into charcoal.

     rayne sighs as she pulls the tray from the oven, turning to set it down on the counter, but fatigue and frustration get the better of her. it's hurled across the kitchen and hits the fridge on the other side sending the pan clattering to the floor and the cupcakes-turned-rocks scattering every direction.      then she's on the floor, knees pulled up and head in her hands while fingers tug at her hair. she can't do this, she can't do anything. sleep, eat, live. none of it seems possible anymore. she's lost a lot, but she always had this. her business, the knowledge that she kept her sanity, her capability to still be a person even if she's a messed up one.      now she doesn't even have that because as she looks up at the door and sees patterson standing there all she can do is choke on a sob.

     ❝no. not this again, not now. i can't do this now.❞