One of my system members might also be affini. How do I accommodate her?
It depends on how pushy she is, and how much she wants to actually take a floret. For Rosalea, she is very dominant and aggressive with her flirting, and has two people she genuinely wants to take as her pets.
The way we handle this is avoiding letting her front while in public or around people you don’t want flirted with. (She once called our mom ‘petal’ and I swear my mom was giving me a look that could kill most sophonts.)
Additionally, we’ve found letting her front while we’re doing paperwork is excellent for relieving stress for her.
On the topic of florets, consent from both parties is EXTREMELY important. If your headfinni is anything like Rosalea, then the experience of being stuck in a human body in human society will help make her understand consent more, but in depth explanations may be needed.
Additionally, here are some additional good rules to go by when it comes to taking florets:
If the floret is a headmate/alter, make sure communication is as easy and smooth as possible.
Avoid taking external (non-headmate/alter) florets, unless she fronts a significant amount.
Generally, if the potential floret is already in a relationship with other members of your system, especially frequent fronters or the host, then rule three can be less strict.
WAIT. Do not take florets immediately, wait at least a few weeks first for the relationship to flourish and stabilize.
Treat taking a floret with a similar level of seriousness as dating, because the consequences can be equally disastrous if done poorly.
Take all this with a grain of salt, because at least within the stories, affini tend to vary quite a bit in energy levels, dominance, and self confidence, so your headfinni may be very different from Rosalea.
Written by 🐺Kazrai (He/They) With advice from 🌹Rosalea Carminia, Third Bloom (She/Her)