sebastian was nervous. he felt anxiety build inside of him as he made his way back and forth through his grandparents kitchen, pacing really. he was trying to create the best picnic food for- well. a date. the thought was was wild really, he felt his cheeks flush remembering how it felt to finally say those words, his voice and demeanour uncharacteristically shy as he looked at jaeyoung and asked him if he would be interested in going on a date– it was a thought that went through his mind more often than he would like to admit. not that he was in denial, but the matters of the heart were a fragile sort of thing, and sebastian always had a hard time being vulnerable, letting his heart on his sleeve, and letting others see him as he truly was, what he truly felt.
this was different though. he knew jaeyoung. they had met in england, they had history. he didn't believe in fate, didn't think it was true or real, but they had met once again after parting ways, and.. maybe it was a sign, maybe it did mean something. maybe they were supposed to meet and be friends. he wouldn't deny that he was foud of him, he had been fond of the younger male ever since they first met, and he had taken him by the hand and showed him around the fashion festival, he brought him on so many adventures, trips, spoiled him with gifts, and each time it made his stomach fill with warmth, cheeks burning, a smile threatening to split past his lips- a crush, silly, and honestly something he hadn't wanted to deal with at first, but it grew into so much more, and after losing him once, he hadn't wanted to miss this opportunity to have something more, to give each other a chance to blossom into something beautiful.
he worried at first the feeling wasn't mutual. insecurity was an ugly sort of thing, it was riddled into his psyche, engraved into his being by his parents, he always worried about not being good enough, and wondered if the gazes jaeyoung gave him only existed in his imagination, something that wasn't real, fleeting, but it couldn't have been, not when he looked at him the same way, and then the kiss they shared that day they hung out- it was everything he could ask for, and more. he forced those thoughts away and allowed himself to be brave, and jae's positive reaction was everything he could hope for, and more.
he wanted their first date to be the first of more. something special that they could never forget. he had used his time away visiting his grandparents during the break to bake and cook with them, carefully assembling home made bentos, making sure to pack cupcakes and small slices of cakes, cookies, and carefully packing them in tupperwares, the perfect snacks for a picnic- and it was cheesy. he had even picked out the softest of blankets to curl up under, and found a cute bag to carry everything in. it was soft pink, and had cute animated cats on it. maybe he was trying too hard, but he had wanted it to be amazing, special for the boy he was so fond of.
dressing up was an other matter at hand, worrying if he should go casual or dressy, he was going for a cosy sort of moment, and after hesitating for a little while, he picked out the perfect outfit: a white tee-shirt, a beige cable knit skirt and a brown knitted cardigan to match the fit, white sneakers and socks on his feet completed the look along with some light make-up, lip gloss and highlighter on his cheeks. and he was ready.
heart in his throat, there was no better way to introduce the taller to this side of him, and he hoped- he'd still like him just the same.
he sent jae a quick text, telling him he was going to pick him up in twenty minutes, and before he could change his mind and peel off the clothes to wear something else entirely, he grabbed his bag filled with food, the blankets neatly folded and placed on top, kissed his grandparents on the cheek goodbye, and quickly made his way to his date's apartment; once there, he took a deep, shaky breath and rang once before sending an other text to tell him of his arrival, and before overthinking it, adding a few hearts at the end of it. now all he had to do was wait, heart beating rapidly, and cheeks burning, he never felt so nervous in his whole life.
sebastian was on a little shopping spree. he had wanted to get new skin care, make up and maybe some cute clothes. going to the mall on a day off was the best way to handle this dilemma, and he found himself there early afternoon after making breakfast and doing some yoga, beanie on his head, and a puffy jacket covering his frame, he was in his element. this was something he loved to do, and something that made him happy.
he had his tote bag swung over his shoulder, it was already filled with some items. he had some make up, lipsticks, eyeshadows and blush, with highlighter, he was trying to go with a softer look during the winter, something more on the neutral pastel side, if that made sense, and a dewy look too, because the dry winter air truly made his skin dry out, and maybe he just needed an excuse to step outside and touch some grass; not think about training so much or music, and dancing, and whatever else there was to work on, and just think about the simple things in life, like his passions, what he likes.
maybe he should go get some new cooking utensils too.
after a few more shops, he felt lighter, like a weight was off his chest. self-care was really the best type of care in sebastian’s book. his bag felt heavier, he may have went a bit overboard with the new kitchen appliances- he bought a few Tupperware, bentos and spatulas, a crepe pan- and he definitely didn’t work out enough to be carrying large hauls around; he bet he looked somewhat extra carrying so many bags, but all was fair when it came to fashion and make up!
all that was left was to finally get those sailor moon shoes collection he had seen come out recently, so when he stopped at the store, he blinked up when he noticed someone familiar walk by. pausing, he hesitated before calling out just loud enough to be heard, “jae? is that you?”
set in the past, a few years ago during uk fashion week.
sebastian was never one to be extremely excited for something. but this- this was different. uk fashion week. he was finally going to be able to get to see fashion on the runway. he remembered when he had brought it up to his grandparents, expecting to be vehemently denied, instead they offered to pay for his clothes so he could look his outmost best. never mind that actually getting an invitation to attend was rather hard, he had planned to still show up, even if it included sneaking in. he was a determined boy, and he was going to experience the glitz and glamour even if he would get in trouble for it.
in all honesty, he hadn't expected to be let in so easily. but with shrugging shoulders, he stepped inside the festival grounds and was in awe at how pretty everything looked. he made sure to look the part, dressed in a soft pink lace blouse, a high waisted leather skirt hugging his form, he had his combat boots on and make up done, he liked to think he looked pretty bad ass, and with the approving looks he had gotten while walking around, his earrings shining and dancing in the light, he believed he did a good job.
the day was amazing. he had never been surrounded by so many like minded people before. he watched as models walked down the run away dressed in different fabrics, it didn't matter if they were skirts or dresses, pants and dressy clothes, shoes- there was no gender and no limit, the wore anything, and looked amazing doing it. he had wanted to be just like that.
still as much as he had wanted to enjoy the evening, he couldn't help but feel annoyed by the glances he was getting by the boy beside him. tall and lanky, he was staring at him, and it wasn't subtle. he felt anger grow inside him, eyebrow raising, he turned to look at the man beside him, arms crossing in front of his chest, "you know, staring is quite rude. you've been doing it for the whole show. is there something i can help you with?"
moving into a new apartment, debuting. all things sebastian wasn’t sure he would ever have, and yet here he was, packing his bags and closing a chapter, starting a new one. it felt crazy to think that so much changed in the last few months, and he was now getting to make his own music. sing. still, it felt like the end of an era. he had mixed feelings for sure. he bit at his lower lip as he stared at all the items that were left askew in his dorm room, and moved to pick them up, carefully, one at a time. he was waiting for jae to come join him, the younger male offering to help him move. it was sweet of him, and he would never say no to seeing more of him, not when it made his heart full, and lips curl up, smile so wide.
when he heard the knock on the door, and the text signifying that jae had arrived, he quickly opened the door for him and let the taller male in, cheeks rosy, and smile so soft, “hey, you made it.” he breathed out in english, their shared language, fingers reaching out to hold his hand, fingers easily slipping between the spaces so they could lace together instead, palms resting comfortably against each other. “i missed you.” he let out softly, feeling his cheeks burn, in the past he would cringe for letting such words out, but as time kept moving, he found himself growing more used to such words, and looking forward to saying them to jae.
“thank you for coming. i need to just pack everything away, and i’d be ready to move out.” he voiced out his thoughts softly, licking his lower lip as he ducked his head before leaning in to press a soft kiss onto his cheek, lips quirking upwards into a small smile, “are you excited about the group announcement and the fact that we’re all going to have our own space now? it’s exciting but- also we aren’t roommates…” he trailed off, cheeks jutting out and lower lip forming into a small, cute pout, “that’s okay though, we’ll just have to sneak into each other’s apartments then.” sebastian laughed, eyes bright and playful.
