im very emotionally attached to the idea that katsuki’s aggression is majorly born of social ineptitude. a knee jerk reaction to being in social situations and having absolutely no idea what to say
izuku has known him long enough that he understands this, and sort of assumes everyone else knows as well, and is so confused when people genuinely dislike katsuki and don’t want to be around him
and because everyone else takes his behavior at face value and assumes he’s genuinely just an asshole, they are subsequently very taken aback when katsuki decides to start bettering himself and is like painfully socially awkward as a result
Olympics AU: I would love to see Bucky talking about his relationship and his uncertainties with other people, could be Curt but you could also get quite creative with it. He could even talk to Whiskey! An outsider POV would also be a lot of fun in this AU! 💖
I love this ask, thank you so much anon. I actually wrote two separate snippets about this, both very big on the "uncertainties" part of it. One with Curt (which got a bit long) and one with Whiskey, so I'll put them both here 😊❤
Whiskey (takes place after Morning After/Dressage):
“You can just stay here,” Gale says, motioning vaguely to Bucky, Whiskey, and the stall around them. “I’ve just gotta talk to Chick for a minute, I’ll be right back.”
Bucky smiles and tells him to go. Gale asks if he’s sure he’ll be alright in here alone with the horse. “Yes, Buck,” Bucky laughs. “We’re best buds now.” He scratches Whiskey behind the ear and she leans into it, as if to prove the point.
Gale lets a sweet little smile slip, giving Bucky a look that brings only the word 'lovestruck' to mind. It makes Bucky's heart beat faster. Gale nods, though, taps Whiskey on the nose, kisses Bucky on the cheek, and ducks out of the stall.
Bucky shakes his head as Gale walks away and shoots a glance over his shoulder just to double check. Alone with the horse, Bucky tilts his head, looking at this magnificent animal who spooked at her own poop after Gale’s ride and currently has hay all stuck in her forelock after only being in the stall for 20 minutes. She sure is pretty, though.
Bucky strokes her soft neck, scratches her face, runs his hand down her nose as he thinks about Gale. Beautiful, sweet, kind Gale Cleven. Whiskey blows a hot breath and shakes her head before nudging at Bucky's hand for more attention. He obliges. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do, pretty girl,” he says quietly.
He glances over his shoulder to make sure he’s still alone before letting out a deep sigh. “He’s such a great guy. You know that. I don’t have a whole lotta experience with good guys. I-”
He laughs mirthlessly, shaking his head at himself. He’s really standing here, unpacking all his baggage onto a horse. But, hey. That’s what Gale does, isn’t it?
“He deserves better than me,” he whispers as he scratches up under the horse’s forelock. “I’ve got too much baggage, Whiskey. Too much shit I’m working through. I’ve never had someone like him in my life…” He takes a deep breath and lets it out real slow. Whiskey rubs her head against his shoulder, and he smiles weakly. “I don’t know how to love someone. I don’t know how to let them love me. I don’t know if love is something I get, you know? It hurts too much.”
His sister. His ex. His shitty dating history. His fear of commitment. His fear of failure. His fear of loss and pain and heartbreak and betrayal and love. His inability to let himself be happy. Something that he never had a single problem with before 2021, but ever since has assaulted him day by day out of absolutely nowhere. It’s all shit his therapist has tried to work him through, but he just can’t seem to believe that he deserves something good like Gale.
“I love him,” he whispers. And he hates that he feels the hint of tears welling up behind his eyes. “But I’m worried that I can’t.”
Curt (takes place during Event Finals Part 1):
“Ow, what the fuck?” Bucky glares at Curt, who just flicked him hard on the side of the head. “What was that for?”
“Stop bein’ an idiot,” Curt tells him.
They’re sitting across from each other in the dining hall the morning before their rings and vault event finals. Bucky had looked longingly at the chocolate muffins, but, hours before a competition, opted instead for eggs and a bowl of fruit. It doesn’t much matter, because he’s hardly touched the food on his plate. Instead, he’s staring at his phone, which is sitting face up on the table. Displayed on the screen is an article about him. Specifically, it’s about him and Gale and the whole saga of John’s messy dating life, including his forced coming out.
“That’s actually not possible. I’m an idiot by trade,” Bucky mutters.
Curt rolls his eyes and grabs Bucky’s phone. He exits out of the article, turns it off, and tucks it beside his own plate of eggs and bacon. “Quit readin’ that shit, it’s no good for you.” He takes an aggressive bite of his eggs, swallows, and points his finger at Bucky. “You need to get your head on straight about Gale.”
Bucky pouts and takes a hesitant bite of a piece of pineapple. “Care to elaborate?”
Curt cocks his head, unamused. “Quit psychin’ yourself out over him! Every single time you catch yourself bein’ happy with him, you get all antsy. He’s literally the perfect guy. You’ll never find anyone better. And for some reason he really likes you. Why can’t you just let yourself be happy?”
Bucky’s pout deepens as he slouches in his chair, playing with the eggs on his plate. Curt wishes he’d fuckin’ eat something. He can’t go into rings finals on an empty stomach, but it seems, short of Curt shoving those eggs down John’s throat, it’s not gonna happen until they address whatever this is.
“You know why,” Bucky mumbles. There’s about a thousand different reasons why.
Curt rubs a hand over his face and takes a sip of orange juice to keep from screaming at his best friend.
“John,” he says. “I know it’s been hard the last few years. I know you’re freaked out ‘cause of your sister. I know you’ve had shitty luck with guys in the past. I know that asshole screwed you over and violated your privacy to the highest fuckin’ extreme, and trust me I hope his life is a living hell for that. But you’ve stumbled upon the jackpot of possible boyfriends. So don’t you think, maybe, you need to just give it a damn shot?“
“You know it’s not that easy,” Bucky says defensively, setting his fork down aggressively before picking it up again with a shake of his head and returning to shoving food around his plate.
And yeah, Curt does know. He’s watched Bucky go through it all. It’s been almost exactly three years and one month since his sister died, and Bucky has never recovered from that loss. Curt knows he’s scared of letting someone into his life, because he’s scared of losing them. He’s scared of heartbreak. He’s scared of getting close to someone. He’s scared of letting them close to him.
Curt was there when Bucky went off the rails. He was there when that shitty ex told the whole world that Bucky’s gay. He was there for the backlash and for the support and for the rollercoaster of figuring out how to work through that exposure. He had to tell his fair share of people to fuck off when they got in John’s face about it or talked shit behind his back.
“I know,” Curt says. “But you have to start somewhere. Don’t you think Gale is worth that?”
Bucky is quiet for a long time. He takes two bites of eggs, and Curt watches every move. Finally, he says, “I… I think I’m scared?” He shifts in his seat, avoiding eye contact as he says it. But hey, that’s a lot of progress right there.
Curt nods, thinking maybe that therapist Bucky’s been talking to since the accident is actually worth something beyond getting him back in the gym. It’s amazing, he thinks, how much the world doesn’t know about John Egan. All they see is the gymnastics golden boy with a winning smile, back for another round after being dragged through the shit. They don’t see this part of him.
“I know,” Curt says.
“I haven’t had a real relationship since I’ve been out. Curt, I don’t… that fuckin’ sucked, man. I can’t deal with that again. I can’t-“
“Do you really think Gale is the kinda guy to hurt you like that?”
“No,” Bucky admits. No doubt about it. Because Gale isn’t that kind of guy. At all.
“And you can’t be forced out of the closet twice,” Curt points out. “So isn’t it time to let that work in your favor? Let yourself have a real relationship, without carin’ about anyone else?”
Bucky shrugs uncomfortably and his voice gets all quiet. “I don’t know how.”
Curt laughs and rolls his eyes again. “You just do, John. You’re doin’ it already. He makes you happy, you guys are attached at the hip, you look at him like he hung the goddamn moon. And he looks at you the same fuckin' way. Just stop bein’ stupid about it.”
He hesitates over his next words, unsure if they’d be a step too far right now. When Bucky still has a day of competition left. But he takes a breath, and he says it anyway. “She would tell you the same thing.”
Bucky nods and hides his face in his hands. “I know.”
“She’d want you to be happy,” Curt adds, pushing on. “It would kill her if she knew you were bein’ stupid cause of her.”
Bucky nods and grips his hair between his fingers, clenching his jaw. He squeezes his eyes shut. Curt sighs and reaches a hand across the table to lay on Bucky’s bicep. “She’d want you to find someone to love. That loves you. She’d want Gale for you. I know it.”
“I miss her,” Bucky says quietly.
“I know,” Curt says again. “I know.”
It takes a few minutes to recover, but Bucky finally pops a grape into his mouth. Then a strawberry. Then he gets back to work on his eggs, slowly, slowly. He looks up at Curt, works his jaw nervously. “You went to school with Gale, right?”
Curt nods. He didn’t know Gale real well, but they had classes together. They talked here and there. Hung out at a party or two when Marge would drag Gale out a few times a year.
“Has he always been like this?” Bucky asks.
“What?” Curt quirks an eyebrow up and smirks. “Hot? Sweet? Funny? Smart? Humble? All around lovely?”
Bucky laughs a little and nods. “Perfect, yeah.”
“Yep,” Curt says. “He has.“ And he’s telling the truth. That’s just quintessentially Gale Cleven.
Bucky shakes his head and swallows another bite of egg. Curt breathes a quiet sigh of relief. But then Bucky gets all quiet again. “I’ve never dated anyone who… just… I’ve never…”
Curt sighs. “Never dated anyone who treated you well.” God knows that’s true. Of all the guys that Curt has seen Bucky date, not a single one has ever seemed to truly care about him in any meaningful way. They’ve all been manipulative or noncommittal, just in it to say they had sex with John Egan. Just in it to say they could claim John Egan. Just in it for his body, for his face, for his name. Like he’s some carnival prize. Not a single one has ever treated him like the actually amazing guy he is.
Bucky nods and frowns, shrugs sadly. “Maybe I don’t deserve someone like that.”
Curt won’t stand for that. Because it’s the most absurd thing he’s ever heard. “John, look at me.”
Bucky flicks his eyes up, and Curt holds his gaze.
“Usually I’d be an ass and say you’re right cause that’s how we work. But I’m gonna tell you this ‘cause I care about you.” He sets down his fork, reaches a hand out again to poke Bucky’s arm. “You deserve the world, man. You deserve every good thing comin’ your way. And it’s not because you’ve been through hell. It’s ‘cause you’re a great guy. You’ve worked hard. You deserve it all, okay? You deserve someone like Gale Cleven who will love you and make you happy and take care of ya. Hear me?”
Bucky shrugs again, and Curt flicks him on the side of the head. Again. Bucky glares at him. It’s not a lesson Curt expects him to learn right here and now. It’ll take an awful long time, if Bucky ever learns it all. But Curt can at least play his part by telling him, in no uncertain terms, that it’s true.
“Stop bein’ stupid,” he adds. “If you don’t hold onto this guy with all you’ve got, it’ll be the biggest mistake of your life.”
leonardo sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. he was getting frustrated with the website he’d been working on for his company. he could do it and make it look nice but this technical stuff wasn’t his thing and most of the pictures were outdated. he glanced over at the person next to him, someone who looked younger. although, he knew in a town like this that didn’t necessarily mean anything, “not to sound...ancient but this computer stuff isn’t really my thing. do you happen to know anyone that could help me with these pictures or my website or anything? i’m just about at my wits end.” he admitted, his hand coming down and closing his laptop. “i’m beginning to thing a facebook page is the easiest way to go. do people still use facebook?”
A longer-than-expected comic based on excerpts from a poem I read in high school called “Walking Both Sides of an Invisible Border” by Alootook Ipellie, an Inuit poet born in Nuvuqquq on Baffin Island (now known as Nunavut). Some analysis for the poem:
“These two sides [of the border] represent the way he was born, Inuk, and how he was forcibly raised in a Western education system. He knows that the way he is forced to live isn’t his fault, but that doesn’t make it easier. He feels as though destiny decided his life for him, and then left him to struggle through it and fend for himself.”
I thought the poem was very fitting for half-breed Gohan who struggles to live as both Saiyan and human, two clashing cultures that he struggles to reconcile. All he wants is to live as himself, but he’s constantly pulled towards either side by his studies, by battles, by his gentle nature, by his overwhelming power…he can never get a break. It’s only when he grows to be an adult that he finds a way to balance both his studies and his training, even if that balance falls apart sometimes.
(The whole poem is worth a read, so check it out!).
(Also, side note: this is my first time using the free program Medibang. I’m still struggling to figure out how to use colour and texture, so I left this comic as simply line art. Also, embarrassingly, I realized near the end that I was on the pencil tool the whole time, when I meant to use the pen tool…ah well. You live and you learn!)
