just minor preface context: we're an entirely introjected did system. this is just gonna be a lot of disconnected yapping i hope thats ok?
consciousness-wise we're really weird because its not like we're aware when we arent in front, we more just meld into eachother, BUT we have a very elabourate headspace which we all have memories of being in while not in front, but the only way to go there concisely is by shutting our eyes and Really Focusing on it with no distractions. and we're all very different people, and when someoens out in front they can communicate back and forth with people internally just fine (mostly by "bringing someone closer", not into front but just within "earshot")
also we're cyclical in the sense of. okay. we've gone through like three "syscoveries" and every time the system is entirely different and theres only ever been like one or two people that have been there for multiple system iterations, but its not like they all go away and we have to split a bunch of times to get numbers back up;; no its like. our headmates get recycled? we only know this because it happened again recently, but basically when someone is about to go dormant or basically already dormant or just doing a really shit job, their role and some core personality traits get taken and put into a new guy, and the old alter goes away entirely. new guy has no memories from the old guy (as in. no source memories, no personal attachments, stuff like that, they still remember the basics of everything obv) and is just their own new person but they didnt split, they were "recycled". its because of this that one of our oldest alters actually ids as a fictive of a media that only came out this year because she got #recycled lol
i suspect that thats due to a winning combination of autism, maladaptive daydreaming, and extremely unhealthy relationship to fiction, where our brain only thinks of alters as "helpful" when their source itself also makes us feel better (we're entirely introjects). we have a tendency once hyperfixations fade to not even have any lingering attachment to the media, its more of an "ok thats over what next" type deal (except in very rare cases) and so its like. yeah idk i cant explain this bit more im not great with words
we also, interestingly, all have really similar orientations, genders, internal voices (with a few exceptions), and fashion and music tastes, but the one thing nobody can agree on is a collective name. its how we tell whos fronting lol its just a "hmm what do i feel like my name is". we thought we were namefluid for Ages bc of this
i think thats it i might be back later to yap more :3 sorry this is just a lot of random stuff but we have literally nowhere to talk about this stuff lol
I tried reading every you wrote about but we tend to have a hard time reading unorganized yap sessions. /neu
You mentioned a whole lot, but what sticks out is the headmate recycling since some other anon mentioned having that concept. Your type of recycling is a lot closer to my system's headmate fusing; a fragment or sometimes full on headmates fuse with another if they've got no purpose/identity to hold on to.
Can somewhat relate to the fact that our system is mostly composed of similar gender identities, and everyone is just assumed to be aroace/bi. There's rarely a difference in our internal voices (or maybe we just don't hear the differences that often). Otherwise the system has a variety of different aesthetics, music taste, sometimes fashion.
Feel free to yap again btw /gen
-Enber (Multifictive/"Veteran" /@enberneutral)
