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(Part 1/2) So ive identified as lesbian for a while now because i exclusivly liked girls for a long time Before this i identified as bi, i had boyfriends and so on. As a lesbian i felt great because i felt like myself and its nice and i love it i got used to it. The thing is now i like someone theyre trans boy (AFAB) and now im like wait so what does this make me and im frekaing out now because i feel like a fake lesbian and i guess that would make me pan? But i already came out as lesbian so

(Part 2/2) so now im really confused as to what to do because i hate explaining myself to people like it doesnt involve them but i want to date this boy and hes so great and i believe im feeling feelings for men again, so i feel confused about myself again and i want to be certain about myself before involving myself with anyone. Also i lowkey dont wanna be pan bc no one takes tht seriously around me and i feel like ppl r not gonna take me or my sexuality seriously anymore unless im just lesbian

(Part 3 because i didnt realize this was gonna be long) i feel like im invalidating lesbians and jsut the lgbt community by being so confusing with myself idk what to do anymore. I like dressing masculine&feminine (mostly masculine bc im a dyke) and ppl now tell me i should dress more feminien to attract guys and idk if iwant tht because i still like attracting femme girls but i kinda want male validation? internalized comp h? I wanted to ask here bc i cant talk to anyone else bout this problem

Hi !

Long story short, you still are a lesbian. Lesbianism is female homosexual attraction, and being trans doesn’t erase the fact that you are born female or male. In your case, it is still same-sex attraction. Mod A has answered a similar question here, so you’re definitely not the only one in this situation.

All the best to you and your crush !

Mod C.

#relationship #healr

(1/2) Honestly being in the closet sucks so much, im bi prefrence to women (im slowly realizing im lesbian though). And its just little things that bother me you know, my moms homophobic (the reason i havent come out) and she just constantly compares me with other girls to feel like i should be in competition with them. And the worst is when i have to watch a romcom with her (she loves them) and i hve to sit there and pretend tht im enjoying the film showcasing forced hteronormative standards

(2/2) when the female protagonist clearly has better chemistry with her head strong best friend who watches her get with a guy. Sorry i just hate romcoms so much. Anyways i just idk its hard to be in the closet do you have any tips i feel very alone and i cry alot because i feel like i cant be my semf around someone i care about so much

Hello there !

I am in a very similar situation, as I am “out of the closet” with pretty much everyone except my family, given that I should remain “in the closet” for as long as it will take me to reach total financial independancy. So I empathize a lot with you.

You cannot change your parents. That is the first thing you should now. They are the product of their own time and circumstances, and yes, many people of older generations are homophobic. However, I do know some cases in which the sexual orientation of one of their children has forced them to reconsider their beliefs and they have been able to tame their homophobia. It is a possibility. However, the change has to come from them, you, yourself, cannot change them. They have to decide that for themselves.

That said, you have strictly no obligation whatsoever to come out to your family, or anyone really. I strongly advise to consider the situation in which you may disclose your sexuality. If you are in a safe, open environment, you might do so. But please, if you feel that it would put you at any danger, please, do not take any risk. Your safety is more important than the rest. If your friends know about your sexuality, I encourage you to have a conversation with them, forbiding them to disclose your sexuality to anyone without your consent. It has put me in trouble once or twice, which is why I advise you to do that.

Now, to the subject that is at stake, you might wanna distance yourself from the situation. If your mother wants you to watch a romcom and you are not feeling it, you have every right to either not watch it, or suggest another movie. I will put here, the movie recommendation by our dearest mod W (x) although I recommend you to watch them first. I do not know if your mother would be too happy to watch lesbian romance either, but you will be the judge of that. About the constant competition with other girls, (don’t worry my mother used to do that a lot), just tell her that other girls are not your competition, that you are at peace with who you are, and that she should be too. This is nothing but a display of internalized misogyny and enforcing heteronormativity.

Being a lesbian might be lonely. I strongly advise you to find other lesbians, or maybe bisexual women, to bond with. Women friendships are intense and beautiful. Our bond is strong. You can either start by searching local associations, events, or even online, where lesbians and bisexual women might be easier to find. The most important thing is to have a strong community to support you. If you wanna find me personally, I will link my personal blog to you (x). I am always happy to help, and talk with anyone who wants a chat.

All the best to you ! Stay strong, you are doing great. We are always here for you.

Mod C.

#healr #i am sorry i took so long to answer #i have family at home so things are a bit hectic atm #but i will do my best to answer any of your questions #closeted #advice #mod c #answered asks

aaaaaaaa!! happy bday!!! sending u lots of love and happiness <3 i hope it was an amazing day mwah!!

thank you mera!!! 💙💗💞😋 i hope your day went well too mwah <33

#healr #messages

aaa happy birthday jho !! i hope im not too late 🥺💓💓 i hope you've been having a good day n you continue to feel loved n happy

AAAAA PLS IT'S OK LOVE!!!!!!! i love u so much omg it's never 2 late hehe 💖💕💘💕💖💗💘💕💖💗💖💕 i love u and i hope you've been doing well sweetheart!!!!!!!!! thank u sm for ur kindness omg,, i hope it returns 2 u tenfold!!!!!!!!!!! i love u so much 💖💕💘💖💕💕💘💕💘💞💘💖💕💗💖💞💘💖💕💘💗💖💘💖💞💘💘💓💖💞💘💖💘💞💖💕💘💗

#healr #mera #asks #sun letters #it's jho time #💖💗💕💖💗💘💕💗

omg omg omg omg happy bday !! i love u so much and i hope today is going well for u (as well as every day tbh) !! i'm sending all my love to u today :-) 🍰🎉

meraaaaaaaaa i love you so so so big!!! you’re always so soft and sweet you remind me of like a strawberry cupcake with those rlly yummy small glittery sprinkles ..... yeah you’re so sweet. i love you so much, thank you!!! 🧁🍓

#healr #answered #tatday20 #mera