#healthy touch

[kynthaworld]

I've been binge watching Queer Eye and it warms my heart to see how many times the Fab 5 ask for consent about all kinds of touch.

[holistichealthcoachversandra]

Versandra Kennebrew Speaks at Wild Goose Festival June 11, 2020

Versandra Kennebrew Speaks at Wild Goose Festival June 11, 2020

Wild Goose Festival is a transformational annual event grounded in faith-inspired social justice. Over the course of four days, there are hundreds of sessions focused on social justice, spirituality, the arts, and more. Learn more…

Listen to past episodes on Apple Podcasts

During a global pandemic when social distancing is becoming a new norm, it’s the perfect time to learn about touch…

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[fellowshipparents]

The gift of healthy touch

God created us with a need for touch, which is evident in us from the moment we are born.  Touch is one of the first senses to develop in babies, and one of the last to leave us in our old age.  When we are touched, the chemistry in our brain changes!  It activates certain areas of the brain, and helps promote deep bonds with others.

Most parents know the importance of touch when their children are young.  The snuggles, the wrestling, and the games you play with your young children are all so valuable in their development.  But, did you know that touch is just as important with your adolescent children?  Although your child may begin to shy away from your touch, they need it all the same. Here are some reasons why:

Helps them learn boundaries.  Children and teens who experience healthy, safe touch from a loving caregiver are given a framework for what is appropriate and what is inappropriate.  Also, if they are receiving the touch they need in a healthy way, they are less likely to seek out unhealthy ways to get those needs met.  Talk with your kids about who is allowed to touch them and where, as well as giving them permission to say “no” to touch.

Helps reduce stress.  We all know that a good hug or a massage can reduce the stress that we carry in our bodies.  Research has shown that babies even benefit from being touched on the bottom of their feet when they are in a stressful situation, such as at a doctor’s office. Healthy touch for teens can help them calm down in the midst of the emotional roller coaster that is middle school and high school.

Helps increase your connection.  Do you feel more connected and heard if your spouse places his or her hand on your shoulder or knee when you are talking? The same goes for our kids! Healthy and safe touch promotes connection because it is usually accompanied with loving eye contact.  This posture says, “I am here for you.  I care about you.  You are so valuable to me.”

We know that healthy touch is important for our kids, but why is it so difficult? The first thing to examine is your own level of comfort with touch.  If you cannot accept touch, you will not be able to teach your child about healthy touch. Maybe you need to explore that aversion to touch in yourself.  Is there something in your past that you need to work through so that you can be available to your child in this way?

Another reason this is difficult is that teens are developmentally wired to grow closer to their peers once they reach adolescence.  This turns into a socialization process that at times discourages closeness with parents.  You are fighting against the current, but do not give up!  Too many parents give up on healthy touch when their kids reach this stage because they are trying to pick their battles.  I am asking you, please do not give up on this!  Here are some simple ideas for how to incorporate healthy touch throughout your day:

Daily rituals.  This can be a hug and kiss before bed, a fist bump before they leave for school, or a secret hand shake you do when they get home.

Pampering.  Offering to do your teen’s hair or learn how to do their hair; for girls, painting their finger nails and toes; giving a back, hand, or foot massage.

Sitting close on the couch.  This give you the opportunity to be near enough for them to reach out and put their head on your shoulder or for you to put your arm around them.

Physical activity.  It is amazing how much opportunity there is for safe, healthy touch when playing sports, jumping on a trampoline, or playing with pets.

God designed us to want and need healthy touch.  Let us give that gift to our children every day.

[eggwish]

annie & i started today off with a game of concentrate

annie is going to fall and die on grass

i am going to die of old age and go to heaven