This is not a rant but just a general realisation Ive had today. I was thinking about it and I've been reading fanfiction for over a decade, maybe 13+ years or so. It played a huge role in my childhood, through my teenage years and now as an adult. I always found it as a source of comfort, a reserved part of my life that played a huge role of making me feel relevant.
Today I was browsing to find a happy fanfic and I realised that a lot of fanfictions I read while growing up and now, teeter on making the 'Y/Ns' or OCs extremely depressed loners, coming from abusive households, self harming themself, being bullied or just genuinely an OC that cant love themself until they find their partner who fixes/heals them.
Reading these types of fanfics while I was a prepubescent teen had affected me negatively growing up because I did go through some of the things these OCs did and it made me heavily dependant on finding someone who could save/fix me and Id have a happy ending.
I didnt know what self harm was until I began reading fanfiction and it is how I started because I didnt know how else to deal with being depressed and I used to think, "thats what Y/n does"... I mustve been 14 then. Like I found myself expecting a similar outcome for Y/n from these fics for myself.
As a minor, I had really put myself in an OCs shoes, convincing myself that my life was like theirs, that no one understood who I was or that I was an irrelevant piece of shit unless someone was interested in me. And it would end up being worse when someone I liked, didnt like me back....
It took me a long time to figure out that I needed to love myself before anything else. Im not saying this affected everyone like it did me. I do enjoy reading angsty stories now because I dont attach myself to the OCs like I used to when I was younger. I genuinely enjoy how well people craft them and carry storylines.
I just wish when I was younger there were more books/fanfics with positive OCs/storylines that promoted a healthier mindset for minors and other readers. We live in an age where majority of us suffer from mental health illnesses and often we seek comfort from stuff like eating, music and mostly for me, fanfics.
I hope to see more positivity in fanfictions soon because I genuinely feel its important for the minors out there that read fanfiction for comfort