Had a conversation the other day with Gatsby's Mom about Scout and Emma. We use to both similarly worry that niether dog liked us.
As Em was growing up, I never really felt like she "bonded" with me. My Ex would come over, and she was be all nub wiggles and would lick his face. I could never get that. Hell, if she listened it was a good day. Actually to this day, if you ask her (if I ask her) if she loves Mahm - dead silence. Ask her if she loves anyone else, all the barks. Mahm? Who has time for that. I use to get really, really emotional about this. I really thought she hated me. Like, I was just housing and feeding her. But, that her soulmate was out there somewhere and I was just caring for her in the mean time.
Here is what I've learned the last two years about relationships with dogs and heart dogs. Some people bond with their dogs instantly. There are those of you out there with stories about how you saw your dog and knew they were the one. Love at first sight stories.
Some of us though, it's like a Rom Com. We have to suffer some trials and tribulations before we figure out that we are soulmates.
In our case, it's taken me 4 years to work out and learn Em's quirks. She hates her face being licked. She is okay with "proximity" love (same room), but cuddles are too much. She likes playing and being around our other family dogs, but you can tell when she's worn down and needs space. She loves sunbathing and chasing squirrels. Also, at times can be really bratty and a showoff. But, underneath it all - she's actually a really well behaved dog who just wants to be around her people. The puppy craziness is done. She has matured. And, I think most importantly - she finally trusts me to have things under control. (Except when I'm cooking, then she will be hiding in the yard as a precaution.)
The point - getting to know your dog is a long term process. And sometimes, the relationship just needs time to mature. So, they might not be your heart dog at this exact moment, but just give it some time...
Now, if we could just work on barking when I ask her if she loves me... so everyone else knows.