Angel: "What do you want to say?"
Cordy: "Ah, me? Nothing. What makes you think I wanna..."
Angel: "'Cause I know you.”
Cordy: "Well, it's really… none of my business."
Angel: "And that always stops you?”
Cordy: “Actually, it is my business, *our* business, because we're trying to do a job here, and what affects you affects me, and anyway, I don't like to see you suffer more than you have to. I don't think you should blame yourself, or feel guilty for her death."
Cordy: "Good. Glad to hear it."
Angel: "I didn't even know who she was when I killed her."
Cordy: "Not her! Angel..."
“Oh... you… you want to talk about..."
Cordy: "She was the love of your life and she died.
*Angel sits down on the stairs, facing Cordy*
And you weren't there when it happened.
*Sits down next to him with a sigh*
You couldn't help her fight. You couldn't save her. You couldn't die with her."
—————————————————————————
Cordy: "And how about you?"
Cordy: "And don't say 'okay.' Angel, please. I know you. Ever since you've come back from your grief trip I can tell that something's not right. And, and *obviously* it's not. Buffy's dead, and I don't mean to diminish that. I miss her too. I just wanna say… I know that James with all his Romeo and Juliet madness, opened up a lot of wounds for you, but you'll be okay."
Cordy: "Then what's the problem?"
Angel: "That I'm okay. That losing Buffy didn't kill me. That I could deal with it. In all those years no one ever mattered. Not like she did. And now she's gone. Forever.”
Cordy: "And you're still here."
Angel: "Yeah. I just feel like I'm betraying her somehow."
Cordy: "No! If you were a loser, if you were some sick obsessed vampire, you'd go to a Snod demon, or whatever, and get your heart cut out. But you're not! You're a living, breathing... Well, living, anyway, good guy, whose still fighting and trying to help people, and that's not betraying her, that's honoring her."
Cordy: "I'm Cordelia. I don't think. I know. Okay?"
*Cordy gives him a big grin, which draws a small smile in response*
So I’m on to Season 3 of ‘Angel the Series’ and this first episode was dealing with the aftermath of Buffy’s death in Season 5 of ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’. How it affects Angel and specifically how he keeps the grief of his loss to himself but Cordy can see through him.
But listen - Everything I’ve just quoted above showcases how much better of a relationship Angel has with Cordy over what he ever had with Buffy. All of THIS is what a RELATIONSHIP is. The way they just know each other that they can’t lie to one another. The way Cordy draws information out of Angel like no one else can and is so perceptive in figuring him out. The way he opens up to her with a minimum amount of prodding from her. The brick wall of non-communication that was Bangel is nowhere to be seen in Cangel. This entire conversation is about Buffy specifically and what Buffy means to Angel. Yet through it I can see that were it in reverse and it was Cordy that died and it was Buffy giving this speech….
There would honestly be nowhere near the breakthrough on revealing Angel’s emotions because they’re both one in the same when it comes to communication. They both hide away from each other in moments of being in need of someone to talk to. Maybe it’s just because they have more time and purpose to do significant character interaction in Angel’s own show when it comes to drawing out information from Angel’s psyche, but I just see so much more between Angel and Cordy - just friends - then I ever saw between apparent “love of their lives” Angel and Buffy. This level of intimate relation to one another is on the level of Spuffy or Tillow. This is what you’re supposed to have in a relationship where the people in it are actual partners. Honest and open communication. Buffy and Angel never had this… really ever. I mean I brought up the interaction and conversation they had in ‘Forever’ as the only time where I truly saw Bangel as genuinely relating to one another and this was well passed their heydays.
I really love what I’m seeing in this dynamic. This is what makes Angel - the character and the show - interesting to watch. He finally has someone who KNOWS him to the point where he cannot always brood away in silence and pretend like no one cares. Because that’s not interesting to watch. It’s just sad. Thank fuck Cordelia is in this show as a main character because not only is she better for it. But she makes HIM better for it as well! That’s precisely what was needed for either of them to be considered even half as interesting of a character to me as Willow or Spike. And okay - there’s still a lot to live up to there. But it’s a start! This is what I wanted to see in Bangel but I never could because they were so incompatible when it came to being each other’s sounding board. It was like they were trying but they were never breaking through that communication barrier between them so as much of a whirlwind romance that they had - that was written… there was just nothing holding it up other than all the physical intimacy that they shared. And that’s just shallow. There was no depth to it. Not like there is with Cangel. With what I can see in them.
