#heartlesswillow

[yourfriendemmazworld]

Kirby Dave birthday

[incorrectdnb]

Willow: (Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat)

Gorbini: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents.

Willow: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you.

AGNAB: Actually I did the math, Gorbini would have $225, not $0.15.

Gorbini: Guys, I’m right here.

Cotiles: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda.

Hortas: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?

Cotiles: Sorry I only have a dollar.

Hortas: (big sad)

Grantare/Sky: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Gorbini would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent.

Cotiles: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice.

Aadsta: You can buy anything you want with $22,500

Maddix: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice.

Joolian: Apply juice to what?

Manny: Directly to the forehead.

Moldy: Great chat everyone.

[incorrectdnb]

Gorbini: Did you know you can’t spell “self” without “elf”?

Willow: What does that even mean?

Gorbini: I don’t know, but it really cheered me up earlier.

[incorrectdnb]

Willow and Gorbini Address their Fans

(Willow and Gorbini walk onstage, Gorbini holding a boombox and Willow a microphone. "Highway to Hell" plays from Gorbini's boombox)

(Willow motions to Gorbini to turn the music off, but Gorbini instead turns on a reading of sex fic. Gorbini frantically taps the boombox before punching it off)

Willow, to her fans: First off, what a tur-

Gorbini's boombox: (screaming)

(Willow looks back angrily at Gorbini, who punches the boombox again to turn it off)

(Willow looks at her fans, then taps and blows into the mic, then looks back at Gorbini before facing her fans again)

Willow: First off, what a turnout. How wi-

Gorbini's boombox: (fart reverb sound effect)

Willow: -AAAAAAAA!

[incorrectdnb]

Gorbini: Parlay, General voice chat, in five minutes.

Aadsta: Parlay?

Willow: Pirate code. He wants to have a meeting.

Aadsta: … So everyone here knows pirate code?

Willow: I understand it. I refuse to speak it.

[incorrectdnb]

Willödinger's Kirby Dave

Willow: I don’t know if Kirby Dave is alive or dead until I look inside the box.

Kirby Dave, trapped in the box: I’m make krabber patters!

Willow: Shut up.

[incorrectdnb]

Gorbini: Do any of you know how to render really good?

Willow: I can render my enemies immobile

Gorbini: I meant 3D computer renders, but I'll keep you in mind for future reference.

[incorrectdnb]

Manny: She was poetry, but he couldn't read. 

Willow: His name was Jarred, he’s nineteen. 

Aadsta: When his parents built a very strange machine .

Cotiles: Watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen .

Gorbini: Aaaay, macarena! 

Moldy: Horrible job everyone.