thought: John takes Humphrey to a gem and crystal fair to at least try to prevent Humphrey from getting scammed buying crystals for his beautiful wife. This now means he has to shepherd Humphrey around, making sure he doesn't buy fake crystals, while Humphrey is like "I need amethyst to help Eleanor stay calm, rose quartz because it's the love stone and because it'll remind Eleanor that she's enough, selenite to help Eleanor sleep and cleanse her energy field, smoky quartz because it's a grounding stone, blue lace agate because it's connected to the throat chakra and will help her speak up more, and clear quartz to amplify the other crystals..." John's eye is twitching by the end and Humphrey is still broke.
thought #2: Eleanor slipping crystals into Humphrey's suit pockets to help him at work (amethyst for calm, black tourmaline to protect him from Cardinal Beaufort's negativity...)
I love their rockhopper penguin relationship :') also conveniently any rock an be an Anti-Beaufort Negativity Rock if you throw it hard enough
Also rolling at the image of poor John being dragged around a rock and mineral show. You'd think this would be his moment to relax and be in his element and yet. And yet. 😂
I love that he can't even stop Humphrey from splurging #cringefail <3
She speaks English well but her accent marks her out, he speaks English well but his accent marks him out. They are outsiders, strangers in a land not their own. Her fingertips ache to touch him, to hold his hand and feel that she is not alone.
the world anew by heartofstanding
This one line is a rather beautiful summation of why the beginnings of Catherine de Valois and Owen Tudor's relationship is so relatable. It is so human, that need for connection in a strange land.
Richard kneels on the faldstool again, and as the archbishop intones “Coronet te Deus corona gloriae atque iusticiae…” he can barely hear it over the sound of his own heart thundering in his ears. When Archbishop Sudbury places the crown on his head, he holds very still and tries not to breathe. It is heavy—so heavy he is afraid to move. Sir Simon had put him through his paces in the days following his grandfather’s funeral, practicing how to move with weights on his head, and he had been good at that, but the real crown is different. As it should be. It carries the weight of all England within it.
the give you a character meme: Henry V and Henry VI. (it's lisa btw)
“Hi! Thank you so much for this:) (And I hope your tumblr gets fixed soon because that is no fun :/ ).
Henry V will be above the cut and Henry VI below!
HENRY V
do I like them:
Like… what a man yes I love him.
5 good qualities:
strong, spiritual, knows when to be jocund and when to get down to business, excellent politician, unyielding
3 bad qualities:
anxious, sometimes harshly brutal, also like if you’re going to conquer France then learn some French my sweet summer child (if we’re using Shakespeare’s version hehehe)
favourite episode/etc:
I love him in Henry IV, Part I the most. But any Hal is wonderful. (I am so excited for The King though ahhhh)
otp:
Hal x Catherine (otp: take a soldier) I just have so many feelings about these two. The Hal Survives AU is like one of my favorite AUs of all time because I love these two so much - and their son is such a sweet summer boy and I love that entire family dynamic. Also, best wooing scene in Shakespeare’s canon, hands down.
brotp:
Hal x Poins (Will I ever get over the fact that Poins calls Hal “my sweet honey lord”? Absolutely not.)
Hal x Falstaff (one of the most beautiful and heartbreaking friendships in the canon)
ot3:
Hal x Henry IV x Richard II (every fic I read where these three are in it is just an absolute joy. Sometimes a little angsty, but I love this dynamic more than words.)
Hal x Catherine x Henry VI (I would absolutely adore more fics with these three because again, the Hal Survives AU gives me so much life. Like, it waters my crops and clears my skin. Hal and little Henry have so much in common - even though they have a world of differences between them too - but what they share is so so powerful and ahhhhh I just need more of them in my life).
notp:
I don’t think I have a notp for him?? At least, not one that I can think of off of the top of my head.
best quote(s):
“If I could win a lady at leapfrog or by vaulting into my saddle with my armor on my back, under the correction of bragging be it spoken, I should quickly leap into a wife.” - Henry V; Henry V (5.2.) - conquer France that’s all fine, but get to conquering a woman’s heart? Now we’re stumped, we’re speaking in prose, we don’t know what the heck is going on. She doesn’t know what the heck is going on and if only she could understand me! Ahhhh you didn’t think this through, did you Hal?
“Shall not thou and I, between Saint Denis and Saint George, compound a boy, half French, half English, that shall go to Constantinople and take the Turk by the beard? Shall we not?” - Henry V; Henry V (5.2.) - one of the many reasons why I think Henry VI would make a wonderfully heartbreaking Chorus to this play, especially if you’re going to stage the histories in a marathon. This moment is so pure, there is so much hope in this statement. Not only hope for these lovers, but for these two countries, and how quickly it is all lost is just absolutely heartbreaking. But at that point, you see that Henry VI, our Chorus, is that boy. Though he and Constantinople fell in the same year, and how much guilt lies on him then would be utterly, and uncomfortably palpable.
“Francis!” x 15 - Hal; Henry IV, Part I (2.4.) - this was the scene that made me fall in love with the histories.
head canon:
Hal Lives AU because I’ve been hyping it this whole post
(Also possibly modern AU too - when his son gets into a highly prestigious university, Hal is probably more excited than Catherine is. They’re both proud as heck of course, that’s their boy, but Catherine was totally expecting it. And of course, Henry is a shy bean about it.)
HENRY VI
do I like them:
I LOVE him ahhh protect this darling boy
5 good qualities:
wicked intelligent, sweet, just needs the people he loves, modest, honest (I could go on…)
3 bad qualities:
anxious (just like his dad - but it’s like ten times worse), sometimes sacrificial of others for his own self-preservation, doesn’t always think through the consequences of his actions
favourite episode/etc:
Henry VI, Part II is my favorite play of the H6 cycle, but like I adore him in everything he’s in. (Except TV shows that are really Yorkist centric… cough, cough The White Queen hehehe)
otp:
Henry VI x Margaret of Anjou (otp: fit for none but for a king) - again, can you imagine how powerful these two would be in a modern AU?? I get chills just thinking about it. All Henry really needs is Margaret, Edward, some of his favorite books, and some animals to take care of and he is 100% content and at peace. And Margaret (especially in the modern AU) totally knows that. Ugh just… I love them so much.
brotp:
Henry VI x Humphrey of Gloucester - just let these two be happy please ahhh
(also poor darling boy he needs more human friends >-<)
ot3:
Henry VI x Margaret of Anjou x Edward of Westminster (aka my favorite family ever. This little family will always and forever end me. I adore the AU where nothing bad happens to Henry and he and his family just live happily ever after because it’s what they deserve.)
notp:
Again, I don’t think I have one? Maybe like Henry VI x Richard III because bad things happened, but also like give me an AU where these two become friends and Henry is like, ‘no Richard, killing is not the answer’ >-< and gives him some animal friends to take care of.
best quote:
“Whether it be through force of your report,My noble Lord of Suffolk, or for thatMy tender youth was never yet attaintWith any passion of inflaming love,I cannot tell; but this I am assured,I feel such sharp dissension in my breast,Such fierce alarums both of hope and fear,As I am sick with working of my thoughts.” - Henry VI; Henry VI, Part I (5.5.)
This for me is actually such a gorgeous passage and if you ask any of my irl friends it’s my entire personality (especially those last three lines). Whenever my friends and I are like ‘tag urself’ with a TV show or play or anything really, I’m always the precocious, anxious one who thinks too much for his own good and most importantly, is trying his absolute best (and it’s usually a guy - which I find interesting). I got told just last week by two different people in my playwriting class that they wanted to “spend an hour in my brain” and like big yike >-< but Henry’s introspective nature is one of the reasons why I am so drawn to his character.
head canon:
(modern Plantagenet AU)
Coffee makes Henry wayy too jittery, so he doesn’t drink it (there was that one time, and mistakes were made), but Margaret loves coffee, so Henry spends an insane amount of time learning how she likes her coffee, but also just learns an insane amount of coffee knowledge in general this boy could probably write a book.
14. If you could give a TED talk on anything, what would you talk about?
Ooh, well from experience I'm sure I could easily speak for 15-30 minutes on fossil insect herbivory...that and processes surrounding fossilization, like how tissues break down after death and react with the environment around them and form minerals...or not...or don't fossilize at all lol. anyway haha
20. What do you wish someone would ask you?
This took me so long to think about lol. Honestly, as pathetic as it sounds, I'd love to run errands or hang out with my friends again. We've been making do with the distance being what it is, but it's very different than in person.
Was about to order Christopher Buehlman's Between Two Fires and just found out it's been pulled pending re-release from Tor, due out next year. NO. I WANTED TO READ IT NOW.
OH NOOO D:
I actually learned after listening to an audiobook of it on Libby that the author himself uploaded his reading of the entire thing on Youtube. However, reading is a different experience than listening, so I'm sorry it got delayed I didn't know about that </3
Now that the Histories Ficathon is over I'm making good on my threat/promise... please assign the Lancasterlings (and their spouses, if you want) a prehistoric creature to go alongside Thomasaurus Rex.
yes...haha yes! 😈
this got long so under the cut:
Henry V:
Okay hear me out- we keep keep the swan theme and connection to Mary and her family as strong, tight throughline also I love the idea of Hal beating up people aggressive-swan-style. But- hear me out- bigger. So I'm thinking the giant Pleistocene swan Cygnus falconeri.
It's a beautiful morning in France, and you are a horrible swan.
Artist: Sergio Gauci
Given Henry VI may have gotten his panther badge from his mom, may I also propose for Catherine de Valois the Eurasian extinct giant cheetah species Acinonyx pardinensis?
Artist: Velizar Simeonovski
Thomas, Duke of Clarence:
Obviously a T. rex, but I'm gonna stick this bit in from Brusatte's The Rise and Fall of the Dinosaurs to show how perfect that choice is 🤌✨
I admittedly know very little about Margaret Holland, but I was kind of compelled by how her children from her first marriage were kept in her and Thomas' household...that and Margaret wanting her book of hours to prepare her to "always be redy to dye," reminds me of the oviraptorid fossil that died and was preserved in position of protecting its eggs. Something about that as a parallel to her being buried alongside both her husbands too....
Artist: Zhao Chuang
John, Duke of Bedford:
Maybe it's because he himself seemed constantly stressed and running around doing some sort of assignment, and in the plays it's sometimes played as if he dies from sheer exhaustion, but I kind of like the idea of a beardog like Ischyrocyon or Amphicyon. The beardogs were famously generalists in hunting and in both of the above genera, it's hypothesized they may have been persistence hunters.
Also voting for Anne of Burgundy as an alvarezsauroid like Mononykus or Shuvuuia, which have been compared to nocturnal avian hunters like owls 🤎🤍
Humphrey, Duke of Gloucester:
So a guy having a pretty productive relationship to his family (not perfect, but pretty good compared to others I could name...) trying his best to be an actual protector of his relative's kid, having a lot of relationship drama, and also getting into spats with people reads as very ceratopsian to me lmao.
To de-fang him a just a little, I'm going with Kosmoceratops. Those folded horns on the top edge of the frill and side-facing brow horns probably aren't going to help you that much at Agincourt, but I'm sure that pretty lady from Cobham thinks they're fire 👍
Artist: Lukas Panzarin
Speaking of: I like the idea of Eleanor of Cobham maybe being assigned with some sort of plesiosaur? Sort of bridging the siren to mermaid to modern creature of our mythical imagination Nessie pipeline :)
Artist: James Kuether
For Jacoba, Smilodon. They're smart and fierce so fitting. Also what she deserves ❤️🔥
Artist: Mehdi Nikbakhsh
Blanche:
Unfortunately I couldn't find a whole lot on her, but that sort of elusive energy kind of reminds me of Coelurus fragilis, a possible Jurassic relative of the tyrannosaurs, but not much is known about their evolution or ecology. That and it being a more gracile and swift-footed creature kind of has Blanche vibes to me 🤍
Artist: Nobu Tamura
Ludwig deserves nothing and gets nothing bye
Philippa, Queen of Denmark, Sweden, and Norway:
I know in the fic poor Philippa seems pretty freaked out by Thomasaurus' size, but I'm partial to her being a big death lizard too– maybe like those coming-of-age mermaid stories but she's...bigger and teeth-ier 😅. For a similar reason to seeing what Thomas would do at Baugé, I'd like to see Philippa defend Copenhagen as a Mosasaurus hoffmannii.
Let's see the Hanseatic League try to get past THIS 🫡 min dronning 🫡
I like the idea of Erik also being associated with something aquatic though maybe not as intimidating as Philippa...maybe an early whale relative like Dorudon?
