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i love how medical advice is always "experiencing xyz? just manage your stress!"

and when you ask how they just kind of look at you like "uhh idk manage your stress. that sounds like a you problem honestly. just do it."

like... okay... um... i have literally never experienced less helpful advice, thanks.

#trying to figure out why i keep mentally crashing on saturday afternoons like clockwork #this is all i'm coming up with #but like #what the FUCK stressor am i supposed to be able to remove????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????#heidi irl #how do you manage stress when it's just literally 99.9% of everything and none of it can really be dropped

i feel like, at some point, there comes a time where repeating "someday this will be over" is like... no longer a valid coping mechanism

and i'm pretty sure i'm there

#11 years of my fucking life trapped here #then the day i was finally going to start writing again because i feel so much better after over a month of abject suffering #guess what!#nope! denied! welcome to More Emotional Labor -- that is what you requested right?#heidi irl

i just really hate everything in my life right now

i'm so tired. i just need something to work out. i just need something that doesn't suck ass to do because everything right now sucks so much ass and i cannot, for the life of me, change it

i don't even know what i could possibly do either to get shit to suck less, and that's the worst part. i'm always at my worst when i feel trapped and god, do i feel fucking trapped right now

#heidi irl #don't mind me just fighting off a spiral #and debating whether i burn 16 hours of pto mon/tues because i sure don't want to burn all my sick time by april #like i haven't even scheduled appts i need to schedule because every time i do something fucking happens #'oh it's all mindset' eat literal fucking shit tbh #doesn't help that my grandmother decided to chuckle in the middle of a mild meltdown because like that seems like a normal thing to do ig #and i can't even say anything because i have literally no one to back me up #i just want shit to stop

#heidi irl

why can no one at my job spell my name

IT’S ONLY FOUR LETTERS, GUYS, BECAUSE ONE OF THEM REPEATS.

THIS ISN’T FUCKING HARD IT’S IN MY EMAIL SIGNATURE IT’S THE SAME NAME AS A FAMOUS FUCKING BOOK FROM GERMANY

WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT FOR YOU

#literally twice within two days I’ve been Hedi and Heide #like COME ON #I have NEVER understood why so many people struggle spelling this fucking name #there are no variations that are Hedi or Heide or Heidie or Heydei or #LIKE COME ON IT WAS A SHIRLEY TEMPLE MOVIE FOR FUCKS SAKE #Heidi irl #< because I CAN spell my fucking name you see

#heidi irl

#heidi irl #i fucking hate it here #i'd move out in a heartbeat if i could afford literally anything #but no i drove myself so far into debt during the pandemic keeping us alive that i can't afford to save up for anything #love this for me it's great it's fantastic guess i'll fucking die

printer is printing faded black even after i changed the ink

internet says to clean inside cartridge apparatus after unplugging printer

literally cannot get to unplug the printer due to having to contort over top of a 50s era record player cabinet, an armchair, a bunch of amazon boxes and my rolling carton of D&D stuff

this printer is over 10 years old (it's the same one i had in grad school)

i hate this printer so much

i also can't find my embroidery transfer paper but like if the ink is already faded then i wouldn't be printing my yearly stitch a long anyway

god i hate this printer

#heidi irl

#heidi irl

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#heidi irl