#heldstongue

[chngjr]

❝ i’m not sorry. ❞  ||  @heldstongue​

          ‘‘ GOOD, DIDN’T WANT YOUR APOLOGY ANYWAYS.... ’’

          ‘‘ .........wait what are you not apologizing for again ? ’’

[callovs]

      @heldstongue​       ––       /       *       !       source

            duncan   was   unbelievable      .       even   now      ,       when   the   blond   had   made   sure   he   got   that   it   was   enough      ,       he   was   still   denying   xavier   any   access   to   an   emotion   that   went   beyond   anything   other   than   him   looking   down   on   xavier      .       and   he’d   had   enough   of   it      .      as   much   as   it   pained   his   heart      ,       the   slightly   younger   male   had   listened   to   the   hurtful   words   for   too   many   nights      ,       seen   duncan   toy   around   with   whatever   girl   he   found   prettiest   that   night      .      it   was   just   enough      .      and   since   the   brunette   didn’t   want   to   recognize   that      ,       xavier   would   do   it   for   him      . 

            ❝       then   you   should   have   just   left   me   to   rot   in   the   camp   forever      .       because   even   that   would   have   been   more   comfortable   than   getting   stabbed   in   the   heart   by   you   each   and   every   single   day      .       ❞       xavier   ran   off   for   several   reasons      .       quick   feet   carried   him   into   his   bedroom   because   he   didn’t   want   duncan   to   see   him   cry   to   easy      .       but   he   also   left   the   living   room   to   grab   the   nearest   bag   he   could   find   and   start   throwing   his   things   into   it      .      it   was   time   to   go      .       to   move   on      .      duncan   had   shown   him   on   many   occasions      ,       TOO       MANY      ,      that   he   didn’t   care   whether   xavier   was   around   or   not      .       and   xavier       ––       he   cared   too   much      .       even   in   his   second   life   he   still   did      . 

[callovs]

      @heldstongue​       ––       /       *       !       source

[ msg. ]       ––––––       oh my god you what       ?? 

[ msg. ]       ––––––       no, oh my lord       !!       this is       NOT       xavier       ...

[ msg. ]       ––––––       wow      ,       i’m       – so relieved you didn't send a picture       .   

[callovs]

  @heldstongue​       ––       /       *       !       continued from here

            xavier   was   upset      .       that   is      ,       if   upset   was   a   good   enough   word   to   describe   his   awakening   after   death      .       he’d   always   thought   that   if   he   left   the   earth   and   his   human   life   behind      ,       it   would   have   to   be   dramatic      .       it   would   have   to   be   huge      ,       with   many   eyes   on   his   story   and   with   dramatic   movie   remakes   of   his   eventful   life      .       but   for   that      ,       the   blond   had   gone   far   too   early   not   only   in   his   career   but   also   in   his   life      .       with   that   ever   present   grief   and   rage   that   he’d   woken   up   again      ,       he   could   barely   look   duncan   in   the   eye   anymore       –       not   without   almost   losing   it   on   the   spot      .

            his   voice   had   been   shaky      . lips   trembling   and   face   going   red      .       even   in   death   his   body   seemed   unable   to   leave   out   the   ugly   looks   of   being   angry      .       but   duncan’s   words   were   an   absolute   surprise      .       they   were   everything   he   had   not   expected   and   they   were   everything   the   ghost   had   needed      .       as   a   child      ,       there   had   been   many   stories   his   cousin   had   told   him   about   ghosts      .       that   they   lost   touch   to   reality   because   they   had   no   soul      ,       that   they   couldn’t   control   their   emotions   and   actions   anymore   and   that   because   they   were   forced   to   stick   around   one   place      ,       they   would   drown   in   bitterness   and   be   eaten   by   their   rage      .       he’d   only   been   a   kid      ,       had   been   scared   at   the   thought   of   it      .       but   mom   had   set   it   straight      ,       had   made   sure   her   little   boy   would   sleep   peacefully      .       where   was   mom   now?

            now      ,       she   wouldn’t   be   there   to   save   him   from   his   feelings      .       no   one   could   save   him   from   that      .       yet      ,       duncan’s   words   had   been   exactly   what   he   needed   to   feel   relief   and   to   feel   the   shakiness   withdraw   from   his   figure   slowly      .       ❝       heavenly       ??       divine       ??       you   must   mistake   me   with   brooke      ,       duncan      .       ❞       touched   by   the   words      ,       the   ghost   still   huffed      ,       shaking   his   head   slightly      .       as   precious   as   he   wanted   to   tell   himself   that   he   was      ,       he   knew   about   all   the   dirty   things   he’d   done   in   the   past      . the   little   love   movies   were   just   one   thing   on   the   list      .       ❝       i   am   rotten   now      .       disgraced      .       and   worst   of   all      ,       i   will   never   be   a   famous   actor       !!       ❞       xavier   stomped   on   the   ground   like   a   child      ,   crossing   his   arms   in   front   of   his   chest   now   as   he   looked   away   from   duncan’s   eyes      .

[callovs]

      @heldstongue​       ––       /       *       !       source

[ msg. ]       ––––––       i’ll come in one way or another      .

[ msg. ]       ––––––      just open the god damn door      ,       asshole      .   

[callovs]

      @heldstongue​       ––       /       *       !       source: ❤️ 

            xavier   had   taken   his   time   to   allow   the   touch      .       usually      ,       being   with   duncan   meant   quick   and   hard   touched      ,       shoving   and   grabbing      ,       biting   and   slapping      .       in   a   way   at   least      .       but   it   was   different   tonight      .       the   other   one   had   actually   put   in   some   effort   into   impressing   him      .       or   at   least      ,       that’s   what   he   wanted   to   tell   himself      .       after   the   dinner   and   two   glasses   of   wine      ,       he’d   pretty   much   been   ready   to   just   strip   down   and   let   duncan   do   his   thing       ––   ––       it   was   almost   a   routine   at   this   point   that   they’d   fuck  after   their   friday   dinner      .       but   something  was   so   different   today      ,       it   was   off   somehow      .

            when   xavier   had   grabbed   for  the   wrist   of   the   other   man   and   was   ready   to   drag   him  to   the   bedroom      ,       the   other   male   had   stopped  him      ,       almost   pushed   him  into   the   wall      ,       so   violently   had   he   been   stopped      .       questioning      ,       xavier   looked   at   him      ,       unsure   of   what   was   wrong   now      .      there   was   always   something   wrong      .      but  there   was   nothing   in   duncan’s   eyes      .       they   were   unreadable      .       he   just   stood   there      ,       in   front   of   him      ,       looking   at   him      .       because   the   blond   didn’t   understand      ,       xavier   reached   out  again  now      ,       brushing   his   fingers   over   duncan’s   cheek      .       ❝       everything   alright       ??       don’t   wanna   go   to   bed   yet       ??       ❞       because   he   didn’t   know   this   side   of   the   other   male      ,       for   the first   time   in   quite   a   while      ,       xavier’s   eyes   softened      .       he’d   be   fine   with   just   some   cuddles   tonight   too      ,       should   duncan   not  yet   want   to   hit   it      .       ❝       it’s   fine      .       we   can   go   back   to   the  couch   if  you   want   to      .       ❞      his   fingers   danced   over   duncan’s  jaw      ,       down   to   his   throat  and  eventually   into   his   neck      ,       pulling   him   forward   just   a   little   bit      ,       just   enough   for   their   lips   to   meat  in  a   soft   touch      .       it   was   shy      ,       xavier   wasn’t   confident   that   this   was   an   okay   thing   to   do      ,       that   any   touch   beyond   sex   was   okay      .       but   he   tried      .      it   was   worth   a   shot   because   worse   than   duncan   had   hurt   him   lately      ,       the   rejection   couldn’t   get      . 

[callovs]

      @heldstongue​       ––       /       *       !       source

[ msg. ]       ––––––       at a party       ??       what party       ??

[ msg. ]       ––––––       i can come and pick you up after if you want to       ...

[ msg. ]       ––––––       but no pressure      ,       you can come whenever you want to      .   

[ msg. ]       ––––––       just give me a call       ??

[callovs]

      @heldstongue​       ––       /       *       !       source

[ msg. ]       ––––––       to dc       ??       i mean       ...       i could      .       i’d like to      .    

[ msg. ]       ––––––       one condition though      .

[ msg. ]       ––––––       take me on a fancy date       ??