#hell yeah identity!

[transdadhowdoi]

By the way you have to be chill and normal with trans guys who like their boobs by the way. And trans guys who like to wear dresses and keep their hair long and shave by the way. You gotta be okay with trans dudes doing drag and cross dressing and being fem by the way They're just awesome and in love with themselves by the way.

By the way you have to be chill and normal with trans women who like their penis by the way. And trans girls who like to wear suits and keep their hair short and not shave anywhere by the way. You gotta be okay with trans women doing drag and cross dressing and being butch by the way. They're just awesome and in love with themselves by the way

:)

[transdadhowdoi]

trans dad, how do i be happy?

Y'know, I didn't want to sit on this one for too long.

Honestly? I don't know.

One of the things I haven't figured out, is how I've kept myself happy.

Is it the interactions with people? Is it doing things I enjoy? Eating good food? Exercising?

So many people will really tell you that it's this thing or that thing, or that theres a specific combination you have to solve like a puzzle cube.

I just don't get it. Honestly, I think being happy isn't something you can figure out like a puzzle. Or learn with old age.

Happiness isn't a wisdom.

I think happiness is fickle, and it comes and it goes, and thing that you truly need to figure out, is accepting that yeah, you're not always happy. Sometimes it's okay to have bad days, or days where you don't feel either good or bad.

Coming to terms with knowing emotions is hard. Coming to terms that not everything is going to be happy is hard.

But it's the step you gotta take!

[transdadhowdoi]

Lots of scary stuff, (again) on the trans community of Tumblr again! I'm not one to comment on most of. I really suggest the user @alienlike as a POC and trans person. Good explanations and I hope it can help people trying to follow things again.

To my people just trying to be trans, you can always find a safe space with me, I love you, you are trans enough, you are whoever you want to be, I support you, and white trans people spouting slurs and pedophilia and horrible racism aren't role models.

Stay safe out there :)

[transdadhowdoi]

dad, I keep worrying if I’m not really trans cause I keep having dreams where I’m a girl instead of a trans man

Gender is such a fickle thing, isn't it? And isn't it interesting?

I think what a lot of people don't know, is that you don't ever have to set yourself that label.

You don't ever have to just be trans or just be this one thing. It's okay to just, be a thing.

Gender changes. You might wake up one day with a closet full of trans merch, and realize "hey, I think I might be something else."

That's okay!! You just have to try and act on it.

What does your brain and body react to when you think about being a girl? Dressing like a girl? Being referred to with female pronouns and a name?

Now what about all those things but male?

Or non binary?

Or neopronouns?

Or nothing at all, or any infinite combination?

You don't need a label guys. You just need to let yourself try things, and learn.

[transdadhowdoi]

Another thing I think I should mention, since no one ever really talks about it, but you can still be trans, even without that one "thing."

Hey trans guys, you can have long hair. You can wear dresses. You can shave.

Hey trans girlies, you can have short hair. You can still wear "boy" clothes. You don't have to shave.

Hey trans girlies and trans guys, you don't have to get surgery to be "trans enough."

Trans guys, you don't need to want top and bottom surgery to be trans enough.

(I've had neither!)

Trans girlies you don't need bottom surgery and implants to be trans enough.

You can be trans however you want and feel comfortable with, and if people try to say that you aren't trans enough because of (insert what you're doing here) then they can go and evaluate their choices. (AND YOU CAN BLOCK THEM)

Worrying about whether or not you're trans isn't something non trans/queer people usually do. If the thought of you not being trans makes you anxious, you're probably trans. Even if you don't want to fully transition.

Sincerely, TransDad, a happy old trans man with neither top or bottom surgeries, sporting long hair, and enjoyment of jewelery and skirts, as well as a consistent shaver of underarms.

[transdadhowdoi]

Questioning Is-

Healthy!

Normal!

Common!

Okay!

When I was much younger, I believed I was aromantic and asexual. But really, I was just in a spot where I didn't have the emotional maturity to be in a relationship or experience intimacy. But I still tried to hang out in aroace communities. I thought they had cool signs at pride parade, and hell yeah, dragons and garlic bread.

I was welcomed, welcomed with open arms and lovely people, even when I figured out later on in my life that it wasn't a label I actually possessed.

And that's okay!!!

Try out those pronouns, try out that label, interact with that community, learn what you want, it's okay to identity as something or label yourself as something and then eventually figure out that that is not what you are.

You're not trying to get with a "gay trend" you're just questioning, experimenting! Mad scientist type hell yeah!

And what harm does it cause to try something out, and then figure out later that maybe it's not that? None!

Gender is fluid, and sexuality is fluid, and identity is fluid, so be a little funky with it, try some new stuff, play with labels (or no labels!!!), learn who you wanna be and be happy about it!

I promise you, you aren't faking for attention. You're not an imposter, you are real, you are questioning, and you are learning.

And that is more important then ever.

-Dad

[transdadhowdoi]

I've been out as trans for almost a decade now, and I still don't feel comfortable with a name. I changed my name for the first time at 15, then again at 20, and now I'm questioning it again just a couple years later. I don't really know what to do, and I don't know if I want to put my friends through another name change.

The Woke™ part of my brain says to just change it, fuck it, who cares? But I'm also worried because what if I don't feel comfortable with this one, either? What if I just go the rest of my life, constantly changing my name every couple of years?

I know it's my name, but I can't help but worry about what I'm putting my friends and family through. I'm also scared of regretting another name change and I feel like I'm lying to people regardless of if I change it or keep it the same. I don't know what to do. Do you have any advice?

Change the name! Change the name! Change the name! Change the name!

You never have to stick with a name you dont care for! And fuck it, you can have as many names as you want!

Pick your favorites! If one day feels like a "insert name here" day, then that's your name!

Try making little bead bracelets or fun name tags with your names on them, and let your friends know to call you the one thats on there!

It's a pretty easy way. There is no problem with changing names, as long as you feel comfortable with the one you're using.

[transdadhowdoi]

Hello!! I've been thinking abt this for a really long time until I found ur page and figured id ask:) so im trans (ftm) and for the longest time ive only liked girls but now Im starting 2 feel attracted 2 men aswell but I keep burying it and ignoring it bc I cant bring myself 2 accept that I could like cis men and thats sprouting from my own insecurity and dysphoria bc I domt see myself as a "real man" until I transition and I still feel like I won't count a s guy even after medically transition (this is awfully explained i really hope I got my point across😭i have nothing against cis men its just that im not them please dont take this wrongly!!!) but now im lost bc do i keep acting like I only like women or stop lying 2 myself and accept i might be bi/pan😭😭idkkk

Hello Anon!! Well, yeah, I really do get this one, don't I!

Sometimes when your gender changes, you realize your sexuality is changing too. Which is normal and perfectly okay! But it's kinda scary if you've been running by the "rules" of a different sexuality for a long time.

Transitioning from being a straight woman, into a lesbian, into a straight man, was certainly an experience for me aha! Especially since I struggled getting over my own fear of men and being a man.

The best thing you can do is just be yourself! It's okay to have a preference for women and still like men. And vice versa. You can like whoever you want to, (or no one!) and it doesn't make you any less of your gender.