I guess this can be considered my last ‘official’ statement on anything when it comes to FF, just for me to say my piece and close the chapter then burn the damn book.
If you don’t already know, Hi I’m Neruka/Nuka/Vargul/Emery/Aiiree. I was on the staff and site for almost 10 years and left and help start the mass exodus. It’s nothing I regret, if I had stayed around I probably would have been miserable or snapped.
I want to start off with saying that, I was such a little shit in the past. It's not an excuse of course, but at the time I had a lot of untreated medical (mentally and physically) going on and now under proper medication, I’m more stable and clear minded. I feel like I easily snapped on people and was over emotional and I do feel very bad about that. I, however, do not feel like it warped my judgment on the exodus or what Justin said, having the evidence and looking back at it still pisses me off, so yeah.
Feralfront was my home throughout my childhood, however, it always had its problems, and my issues with the current owners of FF started quickly. Wynn had gained my 14-year-old past selves trust very quickly, she knew I was vulnerable and in a bad spot mentally and emotionally due to an abusive situation, she was the only adult I had around (Note she was like 36ish when we met) that I felt treated me like a real person, so naively I took her word as law on things. I won’t go into detail but she had spent years manipulating me and emotionally abusing me when I did not do as she said, this caused me to lose many friendships over FF staff related things. Later on, I saw what she was doing and learned to defend myself, she did not like this claimed I was as worthless as my dead, drug addict mother who abused me, who Wynn knew this was a sore spot for me and she aimed at the most vulnerable spot she could. This comment from one of the only adults I knew really fucked me up for a while, I attempted suicide, tho failed and was talked out of getting help. Wynn continued to manipulate and try to abuse me others and myself from that time to the exodus, around 7 years.
Frosty and I, however, were close friends and I hold nothing against Frosty, my main concerns will always be with her husband and his treatment of minors. While I say I’m disappointed in what actions Frosty has taken as of late I do hope that apart of my dear friend I once knew is still in there somewhere.
Most of you know how the exodus went down, I’m sorry it had to happen. I wanted to resolve it peacefully but no such things were possible, and it sucks. I won’t go on further about how the exodus happened as if you want more information on that there are screenshots everywhere.
I just want to say that seeing Feralfront like it is is heartbreaking. This site, even if it has many painful memories and is own at least 2/3rds of the way by two people I believe should never be around children..I still pity the website. I want to help it, there’s nothing I can do, there’s nothing anyone can do. Sadly the situation, as much as it sucks, is pretty hopeless.
This place I used to love now steals money from people and is infested with child porn. Which I might add, the staff team could get rid of easily, when the old staff cracked down on porn and deleted it and banned child porn posters, know what happened? Wynn yelled at us and told us to stop, she said the porn brought activity so we were killing the site.
That's the type of management that is there. Feralfront is no longer my home, its a place for people to go post kiddy porn and try to hopelessly bring back the feelings of nostalgia.
I have a new goal, a new place now. I’m determined to make WCARPG what Feralfront could have been, I have good members, a good staff, and a clear mind now. I’m determined to make the right choices and to make a safe, fun, place for people to rp and grow - what I honestly believe I deserved growing up instead of the Feralfront full of adults who manipulated me and abused me.
Since taking my medicine I had not felt so depressed since I looked back and tried to help FF, it's not nearly as bad but still present. I can’t let this place drag me down again and I won’t. So I’m considering this my ‘final words’ or final statement. I’m still around, I’m still salty af, but I’m done trying when it comes to FF anymore.
