#hello ares

[justmywitchyblog]

Well that was..

Weird?

I was meditating with Ares, kind of half meditating half praying, and all the sudden I felt like I was out of my body, and it gave me such vertigo that I had to stop and open my eyes, because my brain needed the visual input because I wasnt getting enough tactile input to keep it from panicking that we were floating/spinning around???

So yeah idk

Sorry Ares! Session interrupted and now I'm going to bed.

[justmywitchyblog]

To Ares

So, its 130 in the morning and I can’t sleep, and apparently, that means I'm going to get nudges to look into Ares more. Which, hey, cool. I can’t sleep so I may as well do -something- right? 

Well, the researching ended pretty quickly when I ended up on some gross white nationalist site. I was looking up hymns to Ares, trying to 1. find positive descriptions of him and 2. get some ideas on how to address him. 

I ended up finding the 1 Homeric hymn and then running into that website, and then finding a couple of other things I liked but I’ll have to look into more. 

And then I got another nudge to open google docs and start writing. And... I actually really like what I came up with? I don’t know if I’m willing to say the nudge was from Ares, because I honestly am still too new to this to know if the gods ever even hear me. But uh, yeah. Here it is:

Valiant god of war, Ares, mighty bravery

Please hear me now, lend me strength and courage

And the discipline to hold my arrows until I need let loose

Steady my hands and brace my spine, that I may stand tall and solid

And that I may act with pride in my decisions.

[justmywitchyblog]

So, I’ve been having a lot of anxiety recently, and that combined with all my frustration at work has been pushing me to a pretty aggressive, pretty restless state. And I’ve been thinking that I need to do something physical to help with that, to burn some extra energy (along with meditation and self-care). That’s also sorta why I’ve been looking into Ares. I need some tough love, but also some understanding of what I’m scared of in m own head.  So, tonight I thought I would try it. I just plopped myself on the floor and started doing pushups... and it actually felt pretty great? Like, I suck at them, I can’t do that many in a row, but it felt good to push myself a little. 

And while I’m not totally sure, I kinda felt like maybe Ares was with me? I kinda felt this background presence that I can only really describe as an encouraging smirk. And either that’s the part of my brain that really wants this to be good for me, or maybe it was him. TBH I’d be happy with either... 

[justmywitchyblog]

So, I’m going to try to revamp (restart, and really get into) my practice. I am going to try like heck to give more time to the gods, to learning about and getting to know them.  I need the positivity in my life, and a specific focus outside of work that I can feel good about, feel like I’m spending good time on.  Still trying to sort out what exactly I’m going to do, but I know I want to incorporate certain self-care tasks to my daily worship - mainly meditation, maybe journaling? For right now, I want to focus on Apollo and Ares. Apollo is the gd I’ve always sorta vibed with, so I would love to see where that goes. Ares I want to learn more about and get to know because I’m struggling with anxiety/frustration in my daily life and it's coming out aggressively, and I’m hoping He can help me with that emotional overload.  Especially since that aggression tends to be directed inwards as self-harm.  I’m excited for this! I’m really hoping I can make something stick this time. I always start out so eager and then life gets away from me. Hopefully, I will be able to start using this blog a little more, as I find my path.