Jun 29
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i accidentally read the letter my psychiatrist wrote for whoever my next psychiatrist will be.
it brought back the memory of how i was hypomanic and ridiculous last spring and summer, followed by this very long and intensely dull depressive state.
which reminds me of how im just cycling through moods every year, and i haven't been in control for so long.
i am moving soon, away from japan.
where I'm at these days
october 2023: moved to Tokyo and crashed into depression. It became difficult to live alone (couldn't eat, hearing voices, etc) so I moved in with family.
Fall/Winter: Saw a psychiatrist, but no more counselor. I had been making big steps to getting back to work over the past year, but I fall back. Depression is intense, but thankfully unemotional.
March: moved to the US with family. even if healthcare system is fucked up, maybe it's better than trying and continuously failing to navigate mental health support in Japan.
I have returned to the states, and the little college town I live in. I'm officially engaged! And possibly Jet lagged? idk I've always had a shitty sleep schedule
I’m leaving on a jet plane
Not sure when I can post again
“Could you spare a dime? Well I'm sick of it, it's a load of shit We could stop the world and let off all the fools And let them go live with their guns in the sky.”