#hello...is this thing on...

[lucidicer]

i know deep down, that i'll do it again

can i truly feel guilt without a hint of regret? is it guilt if i look back at the actions with fondness? surely one cannot exist without the other, and yet i find that brazenly within myself. palms that should’ve been held and gently kissed instead lie stained with blood that no amount of scrubbing could ever lift, my skin will be torn asunder and that dark red will remain and yet i savor the paradoxical warmth it provides. hollow and shaken, just barely akin to a carcass, he feels the skin as it slides out of place making the job that much harder, his face turned inside out - twisted from the blade but also from shame. i accepted things unfolded as they should’ve, i just wish it could’ve been me in his stead.