Hellraiser VIII: Hellworld (2005)
It's been a long time since you've seen a horror film as bankrupt of originality and cliché-packed as Hellraiser: Hellworld. To add salt to the wound, this is barely a Hellraiser film! It’s another generic horror story with a couple of scenes with Pinhead or some Cenobites thrown in. I can’t imagine even the most hardcore of hardcore Hellraiser fans enjoying this one.
The film begins in a world not entirely like our own, with a group of young adults playing an online game based on the Hellraiser franchise. When Adam (Stelian Urian) becomes so obsessed with the game he commits suicide by immolation, his friends blame themselves for not preventing his actions. Two years later, they are brought back together to attend a private “Hellworld” party at a mansion. It’s a setup for good times, but most of these characters won’t leave the party alive!
In Cabin in the Woods, a short scene that pays homage to the franchise. Those brief seconds are closer to what fans would expect to see than the entire 95-minute running time of Hellworld. This is a generic slasher movie whose conclusion makes no sense but hey, it's got Pinhead (Doug Bradley)! The story takes place in a house built by an insane puzzle maker, which was then converted into a convent from which everyone but one nun disappeared, and that survivor went insane. Then, it was converted into a mental asylum. Its doctors went insane and experimented on each other in gruesome ways. Today, someone's had the bright idea of hosting a torture and Hell-themed party there. Who would attend except for the moronic or suicidal?
Every scene is so predictable, and yet so nonsensical you wonder how the people in charge could think to themselves “yes, this is a product that needs to be released to the world!” I know the inconsistencies, strange behavior, and questionable developments are explainable thanks to the twist ending but it’s also lazy. Hellworld pulls cheap tricks to fool you. It straight-up lies to lead you astray meaning roughly 75% of what you see means nothing in the end. Yes I was fooled but it wasn’t with a crowd of loved ones yelling “surprise!” with gifts and cake, it was with two middle fingers straight into my eyes when I was promised candy.
So, let's talk about that ending. It’s one choice you can’t see coming right after another. It doesn’t matter if this film establishes itself as one genre of movie then jumps to another one, as long as you don’t see it coming! There are four points where the story could've ended, each of which makes less sense than the last. It reeks of desperation. It’s easily and without a doubt the worst installment in the franchise (so far anyway). I'll go even further. Take out all the inconsequential Hellraiser fan-service references, and this movie still sucks. It’s never frightening, it’s predictable, the characters are no likable and behave like aliens. It all comes down to a conclusion that will make you throw your popcorn at the screen in frustration.
I've avoided spoilers as best I can. If you decide to watch this film despite my warnings, you deserve to be slapped in the face like I was. Hellraiser: Hellworld is an insult. (On DVD, March 5, 2015)
