Can I request the Hellsing trio (separate) with a reader who's too scared /shy to speak up to other people so she gets on their shoulder and whispers what they want to say in their ear and then they say it out loud for them cuz she's scared she's going to mess up?
If this is complicated ignore this.
.｡*♡ﾟAlucard finds your shyness endlessly amusing and takes great pleasure in being your voice. Though he likes to tease you a lot, “Oh, my dear messenger, what shall we declare today?” When you whisper your words to him, he delivers them with theatrical confidence, often exaggerating for his own amusement but never in a way that harms you. He loves the intimacy of it, the soft brush of your voice against his ear, and though he jokes, his eyes gleam with pride when you manage to get your point across with his help.
.｡*♡ﾟ Integra, though initially surprised by your unique way of communicating, quickly adapts without a hint of complaint. She stands firm and regal, letting you glue yourself to her side and whisper into her ears without a word about the oddness of it. Her sharp, commanding voice carries your words exactly as you’ve spoken them, unwavering and authoritative, leaving no room for misunderstanding. She secretly finds the arrangement endearing, though she won’t admit it, and she often reassures you afterward with a simple nod and a muttered, “Well done,” because she knows how hard it is for you to take that first step.
.｡*♡ﾟSeras is incredibly understanding of your fear and never rushes you. She gently encourages you, saying things like, “Take your time, love; I’m right here.” When you get closer to whisper your words to her, she giggles nervously, trying not to blush because of how close you are. She repeats your words softly and carefully, making sure not to deviate from what you wanted to say. Seras admires your courage for even trying and always reassures you afterward, telling you how proud she is and how you’re doing great, even if you don’t believe it yet.
This is how the bloody vampire of the Hellsing Organization takes care of you when you’re being depressed because life sometimes feels heavy. And yet Alucard could relate to that. To the sweet doe who’s heart was twisted with delicate pain he does not want her to hide.
Hello my people ✨ it was time again for some tragic but romantic Alucard story 🥹🥹 I adore this man soooo much 😩 and I‘m honest he lets my goth heart beat higher because he is insane but also overpowered and yet tragically beautiful 👀✨ anyways this story is more on the angsty side and how he reacts when it is spoken out loud you have depression. So pls take care of you because we all know depression and trauma is not easy 💖
Wordcount: 2,5k
Warnings: angst, mentions of depression and PTSD, implied mention of trauma with r*pe but it’s never spoken out loud, still it’s romantic and fluffy
It was one of those days, gray and cloudy. You felt like staying under this heavy blanket.
A self-made castle of walls so close you wanted to stay buried inside there. Nothing new to the fact you had the feeling it was always like that. Tired, not of sleep but of life.
Until you heard the polite knock on your door.
"Sir Integra sent me, (Y/N). She wants you to come down." There was that calm voice of Walter. You huffed for a moment, turning around under the blanket. "Tell her I am not feeling well," you replied. It wasn't because of the little sniffle you had.
You are depressed, with no motivation and ambition right now. Everything felt just so hard to do.
What was the point in getting up when everything you tried didn't feel like enough?
"Not to pressure you, my lady, but Sir Integra gave strict orders about your way to move around the upcoming meetings. She is expecting you in an hour," was the last he said before retreating.
You were one of those people who lived here and saw too much. You couldn't just walk around, and yet killing you...you had been a civilian, yet your insight on certain matters was not useless.
You were not someone special, an unlucky girl maybe since the whole thing with the ghouls started. Alucard took you with him the very day he saved you from getting eaten alive. Maybe since that day you felt off. Alive, but maybe you shouldn't be alive. Everyone else died that day, your family died, but you were spared. Why? The survivor's guilt gnawed at you. Integra was aware of that, but she would refuse to let you suffer in silence. And it was not just that; life wasn't always nice to you.
Your survival was no coincidence, the way you thought. Maybe it was not planned, but it had a deeper reason. At least for the vampire in that long, blood-red coat. Alucard sensed a certain purity in you, maybe not something like virginity, but in your eyes shimmered something delicately broken.
The shimmering in your eyes when he stepped between you and a wall of ghouls that had approached. How you had fallen to your knees and watched the blood sprinkle your and your savior's faces. The way your breath hitched when the tall man with orange glasses crouched down.
Your ears were deaf from the ringing of a grenade that exploded to the left. You saw a smirk and blood. A white-gloved hand reached out to your jaw.
"Are you ok?" you asked him that day.
Perhaps this was the little difference to everyone else: you asked him in the middle of blood and gore if he was ok. Unaware he was a vampire until you saw the smirk. Yet worried enough for your savior before seeking relief when he took a look at you for any wounds.
"Those were flies; they can't hurt me, little one." The voice was deep yet smooth like rich dark velvet.
His voice had a calming effect on you, making you dizzy with all the blood around. That was the very day he decided you would live there. Not transferred somewhere else to sign some documents about not talking. Nah, you would be in his sight now. If you wanted it or not. Because his ancient knowledge let him see. You were worth that.
You were about to sit up on the edge of the bed, the cool chill in your room giving you goosebumps. The stretch you made did not make you feel any more awake, but here you were... Nowhere to go but the Hellsing manor and Sir Integra. You liked her, respected her. Being grateful for letting you stay here. Yet the duty that came with it was sometimes too much to shoulder for you. At least in your current state. You pinched the bridge of your nose before your hand ran through your hair.
"Seems like someone decided to take a step out of bed." There was that voice again; you didn't even flinch anymore.
"Seems like someone likes stalking," you dropped; your tone seemed clipped, but you were just really exhausted. You heard a sigh, not the annoyed one. A worried one. Before you even could get up, the slight wind that came with him was reaching you. The blood-red coat got in your sight, and then he kneeled. His face was framed by those raven strands of hair. The glasses are gone, and the hat too. Just so the red iris was looking up in your delicate face.
"Life troubles you; I can feel it. You don't have the burden of the death; what is it then?" You hated how he could sense every shift in your mood. Every flutter of your heart that was not from joy. He was a vampire, yet not a monster that fed off emotions.
The truth is, he saw more than the girl he saved. More than the girl who felt guilty for living.
Alucard was aware it was not your first time feeling like this.
It was not the first depressing episode you had. He could see it in the way you flinched when someone got closer than they needed, even when it was not on purpose.
How you wanted to blend in the background when everything seemed too much. Too much noise, too much to see. Too many eyes on you. When you shifted and played with the hem of your clothes when being insecure. He never asked you what happened; he found it out himself.
Actually, he got permission to do so after asking Integra for it.
Your little soul had been stained before that. Before losing your family, before the blood and gore. Blood and gore didn't let you freak out. He observed it more than enough. It startled you like every other human when it was the fact you saw everyone die. Yes, but blood itself didn't bore into your memory. It didn't take root in you. You had seen other ugly things and felt other ugly things. "It's just hard to get up. Another meeting, another plan. Another mission you and Seras take that will be announced. Why even bother to pretend they need me? So I feel included?" It wasn't a grumble, nor was it a complaint. You spoke it as a fact, a fact of how you saw it.
"Feeling included is one way to put it. Integra does not do things just because she pities you, darling." Alucard explained, red eyes bore into your face.
You tried to look anywhere but at his eyes; you always did it. Not to avoid him, but it was a habit. You also did it when Pip was talking to you, or Walter. "And why else should she do it? I'm a civilian; I don't know about strategy or what could help. I just.... Furthermore, I don't know what I am doing," you confessed, your voice thin, when you felt his gloved hand reaching up to your jaw.
"Look at me," not a command but a wish. You did, at least you thought so.
"No, I mean look at me. In my eyes," he added, his voice smooth and rich. It was a balm for your mind. Your shoulders sank a little as if a weight was lifted.
You had looked in his eyes before, but only ever when he didn't look at your own.
Those bloody orbs you had seen, glazed with lust for a kill, for blood, for hunger. Maybe even a little insanity. Especially with that smirk when he slashed through masses when blood splattered everywhere.
And now they looked different. A warm red shade, soft in their gaze. Locked on your own eyes with a hidden worry. As if he never could hurt you. He wouldn't. Never even a hair. You could only bear to look in his eyes for a moment before blinking away. "I...sorry I didn't-" you stuttered; you always did that when you thought you pissed someone off.
"No reason to apologize; you gave me a moment to look into that soul. It's appreciated. Indeed you are part of those councils, because you are part of Hellsing," he finally said, letting go of your jaw to place his hands on each side next to your thighs.
"Part of Hellsing? I mean, I'm just here because I don't have anywhere else to go. Wasn't it said that I saw too much?" you asked him then with a slight confusion.
There was this chuckle then, and then he rose again, so you needed to look up.
"You are part of Hellsing because I wanted you to. Because on that very day, you became a part of me, whether you wanted that or not. We crossed paths, little one. And for some reason, I didn't want to let go of it." Alucard said it just confused you more when you were honest. Eyebrows pulled together, and yet you took it as a mystery line, since he was a mysterious vampire in your eyes.
"Get up, I'm waiting on the balcony," he let you know then. Before you then tried to actually go to your closet and grab fresh clothes.
When you came to the balcony, only the little lantern illuminated the space.
Shadows flickered over his pale face. You stepped outside then.
And in one swift motion he was behind you, and you were cradled like something sacred in his arms. These long limbs wrapped around your waist. There, but not claiming. He was the only one when you didn't flinch. The crown of your head tucked away safely under his chin.
"Alucard, you don't have to do this. Whatever it is, you don't," you meant to him then, staring into the gray dark clouds above.
"You don't need to justify you want comfort. It's a craving everyone has. To know they are safe." It was true it was a craving, a craving that still felt weird to you.
"Do you have this craving?" you asked him, just turning your head a little. His lips curled up, still his gaze locked on the clouds from the sky. Feeling your warm body against his own cold and lean frame.
"It's hard to have a craving for safety when you're the reason people don't feel safe. I can't die, darling," he meant then, before his arm grabbed you a little firmer. He felt that everything seemed so suffocating for you.
"I'm sorry," you suddenly let out. "What should a girl like you apologize to me for, huh?" he asked you then, and it was nearly like he would have put a spell on you. He hadn't; he would never do this to you. Maybe it was the fact that the tall, looming vampire was a safe space you never dared to wish for. Even when life felt like this. And it never felt different. A dull pain in your heart you carried not just since that day he saved you.
"That you never experienced getting held when being afraid. That someone is there...it's nearly sad. Because it makes a difference why people want to hold you," you let out, and there was a low rumble in his chest before he looked down. Stroking a strand of hair back behind your ear.
"I still know what fear feels like; it's a faint memory of an Alucard who isn't alive anymore. I know how you feel, little one. I saw it the day you broke so beautifully in the gore I placed between you and me." Alucard explained, and you turned around in his grasp. And there was this look again, that shine in your eyes. So broken but so beautiful.
"What do you mean?" you asked him, your voice thin, laced with a certain fear. "I know what happened to you, my sweet. I see it in your posture. I see it in the way you faintly flinch. How everything seems to trouble you and yet not be enough to remind you of something else other than the delicate, twisted pain in your heart." Alucard spoke before one of his hands took your hand and laid it with his own gloved one over the spot where you could feel the steady beating of your own heart.
"I never spoke to it...not when it was not necessary. How did you know?" you asked him, not looking up and feeling suddenly so small.
"I'm the shadow, and you're the passenger, my dear. I didn't rummage in your head. I wouldn't do that. It was a dark impulse; people hurt you. There is that shine in your eyes when you feel uncertain. And you can read a lot behind those eyes. Until I get permission from my Master to check your background," he explained it to you and cocked his head to the side. Your eyelids dropped when you realized what it meant.
The weight it had was that he knew what made you feel like this. You hated it when people knew. You never dared to say it; you kept it hidden behind every wall you ever built to not be a burden. To not get reminded. "You read my file..." you breathe out, and suddenly you feel the tears in your eyes. The sight blurred just slightly at the edges.
"I don't want to pity you nor to do anything that makes that feeling grow stronger. You're more than that. You remained here. And I want you here," he said to you, and you wanted to wipe away a stray tear that escaped.
"I will be watching for your enemies to let them know they contend with me." It was a promise, spoken in a velvet voice before his thumb wiped away your tear. He pressed a kiss to your forehead when he noticed you trembled. You never got to choose to lose what you had. But who gets to choose? Yet instead of breaking like old glass, you broke and cracked pretty like a mirror. And the shards were too unique to throw them away. You still could reflect the reflection. No reason for the vampire to give up on you. Not when a faint memory of him understood how you felt because he went through the same. Only that he decided to let his feelings out in a bloodbath when turned into the No Life King. Unlike you, who stayed kind. Who felt sorry he never got to be held, like he deserved. But now he would hold you. And his promise didn't just feel like a threat to those who would touch you. It was a woven confession of a devotion he did not name yet.
But the cold press of his lips on your forehead made you clench your fingers into his coat. Before you buried your face in his chest. He was your sanctuary as you would be his. Because right now, in this moment, it didn't matter how depressed you were. It matters that you still kept your humanity even when something bad happened to you. Not all people stay kind. Not all people stay human even when they were some. Alucard might be a monster, but he cherished the true form of humanity even when it had flaws and weaknesses. But the strength to still keep going even when being in pretty shards that reflect was a strength he never would experience again as a vampire, only through you...
For more of my illustrations please check out my Instagram and YouTube channel. I am only posting these illustrations here because I don’t feel like posting the others.
Alucard from Hellsing Ultimate Abridged is the ultimate genderfluid icon. He covers all the extremes of the gender spectrum, which, as we all know, are:
- Antifascist yandere loli
- Eldritch shared consciousness of sin, self-loathing and coming out
