rsvp
After 2 really long days, 5 hours of sleep, and a lot of dancing and running around, I was thinking of how reservations, unless they're for places with really high demand, are working out as a concept only because of goodwill and trust.
The first party gives the expectation of presence, without actually having to show up, officially stating that there is space needed for them. The second party has to make sure the required space is available and trust the first party's intention based on nothing more than a gesture indicating a potential interest in showing up.
I believe it is a little bit unfair, maybe because, right now, I look at it through my completely subjective point of view over specific patterns in my personal behaviours.
After a conversation about love with a friend of mine, I came to the conclusion that I've been reserved for so much time in my life. Just leaving space for something that wasn't promised but I expected. Naturally, that limited my capacity for the curiosity of just being.
But holding grudges is a waste, no different than blind prediction, though. At the end of the day, waiting is romantic on its own;
Waiting for this perfect summer day of boredom, waiting for the perfect moment when nothing and no one will ever distract me from refinding the intimacy within my practise, waiting to think and talk, waiting for you; It brought me something.
And as we see, I am finally (kind of) learning to let go.
