#helmworn

[bloodtwin]

thoughts about your sibling about to sleep with bernard?

❝  I  cannot  imagine  that  they  would  debase  themselves  in  such  a  manner,  but  I  already  have  an  axe  with  Bernard's  name  on  it,  anyway. Why not add another reason for it  ? ❞

@helmworn

[accultant]

❰❰ BED ❱❱ our muses share a bed

Benniago one bed ask raaaahHHH!

If the ragtag gaggle had drawn straws or played a game of rock-paper-scissors to decide who was to split the too-small room, Iago certainly wasn't invited. They only found out about the shortage just then, already standing at the foot of a single bed next to Bernard.

Looking at the bed, then at the six-foot-eight brick wall of a paladin, then back at the bed again, trying to mentally measure it.

Instead of a question of arrangement or playing coy, Iago thought it more reasonable to state a simple fact, a courteous warning, "I get pyromantic in my sleep."

A few beats later, they elaborated by lazily wriggling a sorcerer's fingers in the air, letting sparks dance across their palm, "When I dream, I mean."

[accultant]

[FLICK] !!!

affection.

When Bernard flicks between their furrowed brows, Iago startles, scoffs, and then instinctually swats at the man's hand like it's a pest.

"What was that for?" They're beckoning him closer before they wait for an answer, "Get down here so I can reach your forehead."

[accultant]

Points at Steelclaw

" Iago, did you fucking shave that cat are you insane. "

"Cat?" they echo, tilting their head. With only a short, nasty little bark of a mewl, Steelclaw is quickly resigned to her fate when Iago scoops her up into their arms. The wrinkled thing is soon purring, despite the glare she keeps fixed on the paladin. Iago's tone is as serious as ever, "You must be speaking of my pet naked mole rat. Common mistake."

[accultant]

❝ If it helps, I think you're the hot one. Like, generally speaking. He looks like he cleans himself in puddles, smells like it too. That's not exactly hot. I mean, puddles are better than nothing-- ❞ Siiiigh . . .

❝ Look, you get what I mean. ❞

The Hot One stares at Bernard for a few moments before accepting their win with a solemn nod. They mercifully do not point out that a flooded ditch is a vast improvement to the blood pools their brother much prefers.

"I feel as though a bath is setting the bar pitifully low," they confess. "But I'll take what I can get if my dazzling personality isn't enough."

It's a few long moments of silence before Iago adds thoughtfully, "He hasn't got the tits. I lay claim to that, too, if I may make my case."

[awsheets]

@helmworn continued from here.

Durafein examined the others, whose friend had passed on. Probably for the best, those wounds looked rather... nasty. Though the two before them looked more like they would be food for the beast. A sigh as he looked to the tiefling at his side.

"I do not think we should allow them to face it. I would feel terrible if they became food for the owlbear." He said in a hushed tone to keep it between the two of them.

[accultant]

catapults Iago.

And can we blame him? The near-brainless thing hardly takes a breath between pestering questions and unwanted comments. They ramble themselves hoarse, so maybe, really, it's a gift to everyone that Bernard sends Iago flying. The last anyone hears from them for quite some time is an indignant squawk and a splash. Helm save his soul in their soggy return- but until then, there is blessed silence.

[accultant]

And @helmworn for good measure

A glance up to see if they can steal a look at that allegedly stellar smile ( they'll have to keep a watchful eye out ). The scratches over 'vengeful' and 'protective' have torn holes through the paper, which is almost enough to charm Iago to the point of distraction.

Almost.

"Allergic?"

A disappointed sigh while the parchment is crumpled right before him with a pitying shake of their head.

"It could never work..."