[ID: A screenshot of Cabby, Baseball, Taco, and Microphone from Inanimate Insanity during the episode Through No Choice of Your Own. Cabby looks distressed, arms on her hips looking down; Taco looks frustrated, looking to the side; Microphone is looking down at her appearing concerned; Baseball looks worried. The captions for MePhone's dialogue offscreen read:
"That... at the end of the day, no matter how hard it got... someone was going to win! Everyone had a chance!"
End ID.]
Everyone had a chance...
[ID: Two screenshots of Cabby from Inanimate Insanity during the episode Through No Choice of Your Own. In the left screenshot, she has a more blank expression, though in the right screenshot, she has an eyebrow raise and appears more concerned. End ID.]
I've always found it really sad how Cabby reacts to MePad saying that one person had a chance. It clearly makes her think on things, and I can't help but wonder what exactly would be going through her head right now.
She already briefly went into more humble denial winning her own season, and knowing how much she struggles with self confidence and how introspective she is... is she regretting what she got? Is she feeling as if she is undeserving if this may not have been wholly earned after all? This is also the same person who initially suggested splitting the prize between the Invitational final three, after all, and while that was definitely motivated by a much worse headspace at that time, I can easily see a similar line of thinking applying here.
There's a deeper implication that she may have even been made to win that could be going through her head at that moment, especially with MePhone commenting some time later that he thought Knife would win Season 2; I don't think that MePhone has such a level of control over the contestants that he can fully rig the winner, but I do think that he definitely had some ideas in mind, and some contestants are clearly geared more than others to accomplish such a thing.
[ID: A screenshot of Cabby from Inanimate Insanity during the episode Through No Choice of Your Own. She is looking off to the side, seeming upset but distant. End ID.]
Her initial reaction to learning she is artificial has always broken my heart, too. She looks so... empty.
I think a lot suddenly fell into place for her (her parents, where she got her starter files from), and when coupled with the immediate realization of the nature of her win... that is definitely A Lot.
How avoidable were her struggles? Everyone else's? Did she go all through that just to appease someone else? Is it even fully her achievement at that point?
Something relevant in The Future is Today:
[ID: Two screenshots of Cabby from Inanimate Insanity during The Future is Today.
On the left, she appears curious as she listens to what Fan is saying offscreen. The captions for his dialogue read:
"you won the game. You had to develop to your full potential,"
On the right, Cabby appears more skeptical as Fan continues; this is added to his dialogue:
"but many more didn't get that chance."
End ID.]
One person had a chance.
This especially is what makes Cabby finally speak back to him, too, and her reaction... isn't the most positive.
[ID: Two screenshots of Cabby from Inanimate Insanity during the episode The Future Is Today. The left screenshot has her arms up for emphasis as she speaks; the captions for her dialogue read:
"Look, Fan, we appreciate that you hold us in such high regard,"
In the second image, her arms have shifted to more of a shrug position as she looks more uncomfortable; this is added to her dialogue:
"but that would imply we're more capable than anyone."
End ID.]
That guilt again, the idea that she's "more capable" just by having this role alone seeps in again. I can't help but wonder if this is a major driving force for her evident issues thus far, her regression, the whole idea of "cooperation not competition". Cabby cares a lot to help people to begin with, cooperation isn't surprising in that regard, but "not competition"? That sure is Something.
It makes me wonder how much she really feels about the state of the game. She has appeared concerned over recent episodes, but I'd love to have more to pick through with her. Seeing others become obsessed in similar ways that she did, how driven everyone is against each other because it really isn't all that much about cooperation... only one person has a chance again.
I also wonder how much she's been keeping all of this in. That's a lot to unpack, and knowing Cabby, I can't imagine she'd try to for a while. At least not verbally; it took Bot's prompting for her to reveal anything about her parents, after all.
There's just a lot of potential here and I am so, so intrigued.
on october 18th, when caroline polachek releases PANG, i will listen to it (once) and then proceed to give myself a lobotomy to stop myself from completely loosing my mind
