in general, he’ll never really realize that it’s no longer purely physical, as there are only two women that he’s ever had an actual relationship with, and one of those ( @velociiti ) has been primarily about the traumatic power he holds over jaxine over the span of the last four and a half years. only recently has he been kinder to her, and that is really only because she is pregnant with his child because he’s careless and protection isn’t something he’s concerned about.
but with brilwyn, it was after he thought he lost her to solas and the anchor. even after the defeat of corypheus, he’s convinced that it’s still all carnal and about the sex, rather than the intimacy. even though there is affection present, he doesn’t notice it. it’s when she confronts solas alone in the crossroads that he fears he’s lost her, and that it hits him that there’s a reason he’s afraid for her. when she emerges from the eluvian sans arm, he knows that he cannot live without her, a massive weight lifted from his shoulders the moment he sees that she’s still breathing. he panicks when he sees that she’s missing an arm, and @brilwyns and i headcanon that he’s the one that heals her wound, but only after exhausting several attempts to reproduce the missing limb. when she takes off in her personal quest to find herself right after, he tracks her i can’t remember if it’s over weeks or months? because of that constant fear that he’ll lose her. i cannot recall if it was ever posted anywhere here, but shortly after that, he takes brilwyn back to his tribe in the wilds so that she no longer needs to be bothered or worry about solas or the inquisition, because he firmly believes it’s not her responsibility anymore. other people can handle it, and she needs a rest. she needs to let him take care of her. his people prove to be a toxic environment for her, though, once they learn she is pregnant, because she refuses to allow someone else to raise their child, which is chasind tradition. it is when she threatens to leave him if he forces her to give up the baby that he realizes no environment where they cannot be alone is safe for their relationship, and now their child. this is when he takes her out to crestwood, where they, for lack of a better summary, live happily ever after.
