a series of sharp breaths turned into a soft sob as he crained his neck back to look at the ceiling. nausea had fallen over his entire body and left him practically paralyzed from the waist down at that point, and it was only creeping up through his body. he swore he could feel the lick of HER flames against his hairless skin. a cold burning ran along his arm as he looked down to see her petals like lips running along his skin. pink’s fingers wrapped tightly around the arms of his chair before he shut his eyes. after a few seconds, he couldn’t feel her. if keeping his eyes closed was the solution, he would wait in the darkness for the chemicals to take full c o n t r o l of his body and tear each brick down and covered him until his bones snapped and he was only a fleshy ragdoll suffocating under the weight of foreign emotions and the w o r m s nibbling at the grey matter inside of his head. he could hear them already. their little bodies dug into his head, twirled and spun around and carved holes in his brain. they came in hordes. the only sound was the soft crunching and squirming along with his own slowing heartbeat that only seemed to pound louder. he had blocked out the television completely, with static fuzzing in and out of a black and white picture.
he could barely make out the sound of the door opening again. she had left over an hour ago, but the lack of sudden yelling meant it wasn't his manager. he couldn’t find the energy to turn so for a moment he didn’t speak at all. what was he suppose to say ? ? what was one suppose to say when he knew any word could be his last to her ? ? what could he say to make up for everything he had done wrong ? ? the silence continued and it was accompanied by the harsh sting of fresh tears burning the back of his eyes. he couldn’t open them to let the tears roll down his cheeks but he still let them slowly seep out from the crack between his lids. ❛ i’m sorry ❜ pink’s words were crackled with tears and a soft croak. ❛ i’m SO goddamn selfish. i’ve made a mistake. i’ve fucked up. i can’t believe myself. i’m s o sorry ——— i didn’t know it would HURT so much. why does it hurt so much ? ? ❜
