#hetatrek

[dorizardthewizard]

Star Trek mirrorverse crossed with 2p!hetalia? Yes, please. 

ahahaha who needs backgrounds, huh

[vinnie2757]

i like to think he's just realised he's signed up for a 5 year mission with alfred as his captain

[tengenswhore]

Okay but hetalia Star Trek crossover with tactical genius ex-captain Gilbert beilschmidt, brilliant engineer Ludwig beilschmidt, flamboyant medical officer Francis bonnefoy, double science officers Ivan Braginsky and Alfred Jones, one of whom has captain-ish ambitions that he makes no attempt to conceal, Vargas brother cooks, first officer Arthur Kirkland, and jaglahdkend GUYS POSSIBILITIES I LOVE TREKTALIA/HETATREK BUT THERE IS LITERALLY BARELY ANY OF IT IT WOULD BE BEAUTIFUL

[vinnie2757]

i really love the Star Trek AU so can I have some of that where Francis and Elise try to find a place to bump uglies so they go to the sick bay to find a quiet bed and Arthur and Marie are doing the do on Arthur's desk

why does it always come to this

Francis' quarters are contaminated. He doesn't say what, nor does he allow Elise in to have a look, no matter how much she tries to explain to him that her role on the Pangaea was to, you know, fix things. She was an engineer. That was her job.

'No!' he said, too loud and attracting a few looks from passing crewmembers who still are not entirely sure why Francis is aboard, even though the Betazoid has been there for almost five months and even has a seat on the bridge at least some of the time. 'No, I don't want you getting hurt by it!'

She frowns up at him, hands on her hips, and he tries to smile winningly, but when it doesn't ease the tension in her shoulders, he just kind of shrugs helplessly as if to say, 'well, I tried.'

'This isn't some trick, is it?' she asks, 'this isn't just you trying to put me down or something?'

He looks hurt, and assures her that that is not the case. He loves her very much indeed, and would very much like to do as humans do, but his quarters are not the place.

(Later, she finds out one of the Ensigns smuggled a Tribble aboard during their last shore leave, and somehow it had bred and infested Francis' quarters. There is not much she can do about a Tribble, except coo over how adorable it is and try to twist Alfred's arm into letting her keep one as a pet. Arthur wants one to experiment on, and naturally, Alfred cannot say no to his CMO, so Elise has to go without a Tribble.)

With his quarters out of the question, she asks if he wants to go instead to her quarters.

'They're down in the Engineering block,' she says, 'but it's not like we'll be disturbed.'

Francis thinks on this, and says that there is far too much noise. 'I won't be able to concentrate.'

Elise feels herself squinting, but can't say anything in reply, because Marie has assured her numerous times - with backing from Michelle - that poking fun at a man's prowess in bed is not the way to go. So she simply continues to squint, lips slightly parted, slightly curled, until her incredulity and confusion forces Francis to drag her down the corridor.

It doesn't take long until she realises they're heading towards the Sickbay.

'I don't think that's a good idea,' she says, and digs her heels in, but Francis simply presses on her pulse point until she's stumbling along behind him.

If she didn't want to be pulled along like a doll, no force in the universe would actually make her be pulled, and Francis knows that she could pop his arm out of its socket and smash his face into the wall as soon as look at him, but that she does none of that to a bit of rough-handling speaks volumes about her trust in him, and even if he couldn't feel her amusement, he'd know it anyway, he thinks. He knows her well, after all.

Just not in the - do the humans call it the bible? He is sure he's heard Arthur refer to it as "knowing in the biblical sense" - but either way, he doesn't know her like that.

So they enter the Sickbay with giggles on Elise's end, and bitten lips on Francis', because this could end very, very badly for them both. Arthur does a good enough job that there are usually nine out of ten beds empty, and Francis knows that one of them is a little more hidden away than the others. It's by no means perfect, but it's better than nothing.

(Elise thinks, to the girls as Arthur and Francis are in the captain's office being spoken to about their altercation, that he wanted to do it in the Sickbay just to get on Arthur's nerves. She's not entirely wrong.)

When the doors slide open, they're hit by the smell of Tonic Water. Elise stops giggling, because there's an altogether different sound, and it would be so easy to back up, to walk past the sensor of the door to let it slide shut and no one need be any the wiser, but Francis - oh, but Francis can't keep himself out of trouble and drags her around the corner so that she gets just as nice a view of the CMO's backside as Francis does. Of the legs hooked about the back of his thighs, the wrinkled leather of boots and the scrap of underwear hanging off one ankle.

'Did not need to see!' she proclaims before she can stop herself, and she supposes that was part of Francis' grand idea too.

Arthur visibly jumps, and Marie's hands scrabble at his back because it probably felt very nice but hearing your best friend announce her presence whilst you're fucking on the CMO's desk is probably not great at maintaining that feeling.

'Fuck me,' Arthur chokes, and doesn't dare turn around. The blue of his shirt stretches across his shoulders, pulling white as he digs his hands into the desktop. 'Go away, oh my fucking God. Just - both of you, fuck right off, no go away. Fuck everything.'

Marie is babbling in a language that is very much not English, and Elise isn't entirely sure it's Dutch.

'Oh,' she says, finally looking away from them, 'that's the bottle of Tonic Water.'

She sees Francis look at it from the corner of her eye.

'What a waste,' he says, as though it is a great tragedy. 'What will people drink now?'

Marie laughs, that nervous, please-don't-entice-my-boyfriend-to-violence-he's-a-doctor-not-a-brawler laugh, and Elise looks back to find Arthur fumbling over his belt.

Ten minutes later, Alfred is there, pulling the two of them apart with a hand on the back of each shirt, and Arthur has a bloody nose and a split lip, and Francis' hair looks like a badly-groomed poodle, but seems to be otherwise unharmed, at least in the face.

[hostbusters]

irrogicaru

like literally the only reason i made this was because i hoarded the urls aphjimkirk and aphspock

[spacebeyonce]

this is dummmbbb and I am hella tired

Of all the places that they could have gone for shore leave, their captain, bless his heart, chose Vega5.

Vega5.

Feliciano looked at his surroundings with a bemused air, swirling the ice cubes in his drink. His eyes danced over his crewmates, from the bar to the poker tables to the dance floor, all enjoying themselves somehow, and he sighed, bringing his drink to his lips.

Well.

Al could’ve chosen a worse place.

“You’re kidding.”

Feli choked on his drink when he heard that voice, tinged with an irritation and exasperation that he knew so well. Coughing, he turned, pressing a hand to his chest as he faced his irritated older brother, “Lovino??” he croaked, eyes wide.

Shaking his head, Lovino Vargas threw his hands into the air, stomping forward and taking the vacant seat at Feli’s table with an incredulous air. “Our captains had to have conspired for this. There is literally no other explanation than that.”

“Considering who our captains are, that’s extremely likely,” Feli agreed, his voice still hoarse from choking on his drink.

“Fuckin’ idiots, the both of them,” Lovino grumbled, and they were quiet for a few seconds, just looking at each other.

“It’s good to see you though,” Lovino finally admitted, his tone abrupt, “in person, I mean. We talk just about every night, but-”

“Yeah,” Feli nodded, “I get it. It’s good to see you, too.” He smiled, “so how has my big brother been? First Officer of the Vega, I’m sure it’s a lot of work.”

Lovino snorted, “A lot of work doesn’t even begin to cover it. Sometimes I feel like tearing out my hair because of my fool of a captain. Wouldn’t be surprised if I’ve started to go grey.”

“If you’ve started to go grey? I’d like to see how you’d fare with having Alfred Jones as your captain!” Feli took a sip of his drink, “I’ve lost count how many times we’ve ran into trouble in the past five months. Just having to deal with your captain, hah! From what I’ve been hearing, it’s practically peaceful on your end!”

Lovino scowled at his brother, “this isn’t a damn contest you little shit.”

Making a face, Feli shrugged, his eyes drifting back over to the bar; there was a ruckus over there, the patrons chanting about body shots.

“Well, what about you then, over on Terra? Since you say it’s so bad with your mad captain.”

“Oh it really is,” Feli said faintly, his eyes drawn back to the bar when he heard a high shriek of laughter, “but it’s not really just the captain that’s mad, really”. Michelle laid on the surface of the bar, writhing and laughing around the wedge of lime clenched between her teeth as Matt licked the salt and alcohol off her skin, still giggling even as he covered her mouth with his own, swiping the lime from between her teeth.

 Farther down the bar, Arthur and Al were talking, faces flushed and hands waving about in furious gestures as they waited for another round of shots, trying to outdrink each other.

“It’s like,” he began, his eyes sliding back to his brother, “I don’t know. Feels like you have to be a bit mad yourself if you want to make it on the ship.” He waved at the bartender, gesturing for more drinks, “it’s hard, sometimes, and there’s been quite a few times where I was sure we wouldn’t make it out. And yet here we are.”

Lovino sighed, “you’re so softhearted, Feli. You haven’t changed at all.”

He made a face, and Lovino huffed with laughter, leaning back into his chair and crossing his arms. Their drinks came, and they sipped at them for a while, soaking in the multicolored lights, thudding music, and each other’s company.

“I still probably have more grey hair than you,” Feli suddenly said, and Lovino scoffed, “whatever little brother. You’re just in navigation. I’m First Officer and I do engineering. That damn ship would fall apart without me on it.”

“Navigation though, navigation, I’d like to see you try it-”

“-ship needing more repairs than that old Vespa you had as a kid, remember that-”

“-plus I cook sometimes, too, cooking, brother, I’d like to see you be able to feed so many mouths-”

“-and Antonio, bane of my life-”

Feli cut him off, making a loud noise of disbelief, though his face was betraying him, lips curling into a smile. Soon Lovino followed, the expression contagious, and the two were cracking up over their glasses. “We can just agree to disagree,” Feli gasped, “Our jobs are full of messes, we knew what we signed up for when we joined Starfleet. I’m sure we’ll both have a full head of grey hair by the time we’re in our forties anyway.”

“Oh my god don’t say that,” Lovino choked, “you’ll jinx us, I don’t want that, no matter how much I talk. I’ll retire before that, I swear I will.”

“You wouldn’t dare, you love this job too much.”

“No I-! And! And they wouldn’t be able to survive without me anyway! So I have to stay on! The ship would fall apart if I weren’t there!”

“Yes, yes, whatever you say.”

“Feli you get that look off your face of I swear I will punch it off!”

[spacebeyonce]

'LT. WILLIAMS TO TERRA TWO TO BEAM UP I REPEAT-'

'NO MATT DON'T YOU DARE WE HAVE TO GO BACK THERE FOR SCIENCE'

[vinnie2757]

hetatrek au al got kidnapped and the crew's retaliation was so cruel that in the aftermath they kinda leave a legend behind that the citizen's talk about so that planet's probably off limits now ahaha

The USS Terra is not often grounded, unless she needs dire repairs or upgrades, so the sight of the ship, in full working order with only a few dents from stray asteroid collisions or a burn from a star where warp co-ordinates where not as exact as they should have been, well. It caused a bit of stir.

As if seeing the ship wasn't enough, soon a buzz went through the Starfleet Academy because CMO Arthur Kirkland was back in teaching, looking incredibly miserable about it. Over the course of the next month, more and more of Terra's crew started appearing in various positions across the Academy grounds, and slowly, rumour started going about campus that they had Fucked Up.

It was not as though Alfred was immune to making mistakes; a captain at nineteen was almost unheard of, so though the boy had had a good half-decade to mature some, and take on his experiences as positive and negative feedback in equal measure, he was still fallible, and capable of being a human being with human faults.

What the Academy eventually managed to glean from overheard conversations between superiors and Alfred's crew was that Arthur had, in a fit of rage, rallied the crew into storming a previously undisturbed planet in a revenge-driven spree of murder and mayhem to get his captain back. Michelle, as First Officer and now Acting Captain, should have forbidden the CMO from leaving the ship and confining him to quarters.

Instead, she raced him to the camp where Alfred was being held.

By the time the Terra is allowed back into the stars, that quiet little planet in some distant corner of the galaxy has been all but cordoned off, and all Federation vessels are banned from entering their air space.