#hex chromsome

[hexchromosome-blog]

How to celebrate Labor Day like a boss

1. Grill in neighbor's backyard. Scamper hurriedly back to your house when they return home. 

2. Clean out your closet. 

3. Get drunk. 

4. Get drunk and clean out your closet. 

5. Forget how to do basic math. And put on pants. 

6. Watch the new Karate Kid for the 8th time. Lament loss of Ralph Macchio. 

7. Strongly consider dating man in Mach 3 commercial. 

8. Try to dress cat in tiny hat. 

9. Tend wounds while selling tiny hat on ebay. 

10. Light something on fire. 

I will destroy you.

[hexchromosome-blog]

Why Roller Derby is better than Football

We often ask ourselves what the big deal is on Superbowl Sunday. Don't get us wrong, we love queso fountains as much as the next person, but really just can't seem to get into the actual game so much. Anyhoo, for reference, we created this little list just so we're clear. 

Why Roller Derby is better than Football

Never has there been a jammer whose game was ruined by dating a celebutante.

Hitting people in normal shoes and pads is for pussies.

We can be straight up honest here, we look better.

We have a winner in about an hour. The sooner we win, the sooner we can get to the drinking. 

We never go into clubs in sweatpants. No sweatpants = no gun = no shooting yourself in the foot on accident.

Even if you lose the game, you can always win the after party. 

No pants are better than half pants.

The fans "tailgate" trackside. 

The beers don't cost $15. 

No Michael Vick.