˚꩜｡ @phys1cian SAID : ❛ I'LL BE GOOD, I PROMISE.❜
when the chill wind of october first grazes against suguru's cheek, he is of the half-mind to feel offended — the seasons change as they did last year and the year before and the millenia before that, too, and that itself adds insult to injury : that there should not be a manifestation of the world turning on its axis, and into itself, and inside out, ripped apart so meticulously that now there is something wrong to its core, on a molecular level, like the first cell in its self-destructive path to a tumour. all of it should have been turned into its opposite : summer-spring-winter-fall-summer or summer-winter-fall-spring or, or, or, something — ABSTRACT-MADE-CONCRETE.
he glances sideways at shōko, unlit cigarette hanging from his parted lips as he looks at her, at the pleading scrunch of her eyebrows and the glint in her eyes — ( the call came when they were together, and for half a second he almost thought this was then and not now — he almost saw the glint of white hair in the mirror, but when he stared back there was nothing but a boy in too-big-a-shirt, and they were again singular where there was had been plural. )
the sunset spills against the sky of tokyo — an hemorrhage of the sun in violent hues of red-orange-purple-blue, a fitting metaphor for what is to come. he understands shōko’s request — the desperate edge of it, the tingling on the tips of one’s fingers for some type of action. or maybe he doesn’t ( not anymore ). suguru is not sure what he would do for what she has — a week hidden under the nook of his bed, forgotten to the world, the taste of a curse nothing but a forgotten bitter memory. he doesn’t have that luxury — most of them don’t.
there was once enjoyment to be found in missions — now there was only the dull ache behind his eyes and the churning of his stomach as it prepares for the inevitable. he looks away from shoko. he lights his cigarette. ❛ i just don't think it's a good idea. ❜ a beat. then, half apologetically: ❛ there's nothing special about this mission. ❜