I wish I could tell you how much I miss you. I know you’re here but I feel as if we are drifting apart. Our paths were splitting before I was ready, but you are, you were ready.
And maybe it is the feeling of hopelessness taking me over, or maybe I struggle with codependency, but I feel so lost without you by my side.
I hate how we have faded. I can still see you but only in the distance. You are starting to blend in with the colors on the skyline and I don’t know how to stop it.
The thing was, we were just on our walk home. We were going to where we could be together, and live and love in peace. We were inseparable. I still feel your arm locked with mine. My heart still flutters when I think of your deep gazes. Your warmth wrapped around me as if I were in blankets. I still hear your voice right in my ear.
But I know our seasons have changed. I knew before we were not always going to feel this way. I knew I would be left again and again. I knew I would have wanted you to stay. I knew I would have been more okay if you did. But now I am not. Tonight, I dream of you.
At my house, the back door is still open. The key is still left under the mat. I left our myriads of pictures on the walls. There are some in the basement because I didn’t know where else to put them. I still have your gifts in a high place like a shrine. Your love is still a deep memory of mine. I look upon it with fondness. Tonight, I dream of you.
When you're ready, when you feel it’s your time, my back door is still opened. Come home.
