CHENG YI + 💋
cheng yi on variety [2/?]
@asiandramanet jan-feb creator bingo board ⎈ free choice
full translation below the cut
dumping this here in case the subtitles were too tricky to follow please watch the actual video (18:21) with sound on and all it takes me out all the damn time
[1] Cheng Yi’s cards: Ultraman who went on a blind date and got stung by a bee and got sausage lips
Cai Wenjing: (in terrible Cantonese accent) A man and a woman - what do their parents arrange for them to do together?
[2] CY: processing
CWJ: When two people meet for the first time, a man and a woman
He Jiong the host: already dying
[3] CY: still processing
CWJ: If they get together, they are lovers
HJ: still dying
[4] CY: (itCa) Sei… Sei… Sei…
CWJ: anticipation
CY: (itCa) How many characters are there?
[5] CWJ: (itCa) Two characters!
CY: (itCa) Lovers.
CWJ: (itCa) The step they have to take before becoming lovers
[6] CY: (itCa and with absolute fucking confidence) Friends!
CWJ: literally hanging on by a thread at this point (itCa) They started as friends
HJ: (in Mandarin) A verb. They go to a place to do what?
[7] CY: PROCESSING aha! (itCa and still with absolute fucking confidence) A park!
CWJ: (itCa) Ok let’s not talk about that anymore
HJ: cackling in absolute sadistic glee
CWJ: (itCa) There’s a small kind of animal in the garden
[8] CWJ: (itCa) Like that. It’s a… Its body is like what you’re wearing. It’s yellow. Yellow, black, black, and it has a pair of wings
[9] CY: got it! (itCa and with the most fucking confidence known to mankind) Cow! (lit: yellow cow)
CWJ: (itCa) There’s a tiny bug
CY: still processing (itCa) Little yellow bug
[10] HJ: spits
CWJ: (itCa) Not a little yellow bug. There’s a bug that might sting you and you will swell up
CY: (itCa) Bee!
HJ: (iM) That’s right! There’s progress, friends! “Bee.” There’s progress!
[11] Tan Jianci: completely enjoying this circus
CY: secretly pleased
CWJ: (itCa) Then what will the bee do to you?
CY: (itCa) Sting me
HJ: (iM) Ah that’s right, that’s right, that’s right
[12] CWJ: (itCa) It stings your mouth–oh no, no!
Game rule: can’t say the character that appears on the card
CWJ: (itCa) This area will… ooOOOOOoooo
Show effects: kissing sounds
CY: (itCa) A bee stings my mouth du du du
[13] TJC: having the absolute fucking time of his life
HJ: (iM) Yes, yes, yes, what do you call lips that go “du du du”?
CY: (itCa) Du du lips. Bee du du lips
[14] CY: rapid fire beings (itCa) Bee sausage. Bun! I think I got it (itCa) Bee sausage ah! Oh! A bee stings the lips of a sausage?
[15] HJ: what the fuck is going on
CWJ: what the fuck is going on x2 (itCa) Bee… gives up
TJC: (iM) The lips of a sausage?!
[16] HJ: (iM) Your lips, your lips
CY: (itCa) Oh! A bee stings the lips of a sausage and causes me to have du du lips?
CWJ: K.O.
[17] Wang Hedi: losing his shit
CWJ: (itCa) Then you will look very sexy lor!
CY: embarrassed send help
[18] CY: (itCa) It’s too difficult, let’s change to another one
CWJ: (itCa) We’ll guess this (card in his left hand). This is easy to guess. Pew pew pew! Pew pew pew!
CY: (itCa) Ultraman!
HJ: (iM) That’s right! Good!
[19] HJ: (iM) Now we’re just missing a verb. The verb in the front
CWJ: (itCa) Just missing a word. Your daddy and mummy tell you to go and meet a girl today. With me… what do you call this action?
[20] CY: (itCa) Ultraman’s action?
CWJ: (itCa) Not Ultraman!!!!!!
HJ: dies in background
CWJ: (itCa) Nothing to do with Ultraman anymore!!!!!!
Yang Di: Aaahhhhhhh!!!!!!
WHD: SHOOK
[21] TJC: (iM) Oh my god! I can watch a whole season of them playing this!
CY: god save me
CWJ: (itCa) There’s no more Ultraman now!
[22] TJC: can’t even sit in his fucking seat anymore
CWJ: (itCa) Now it’s me and you. Then Daddy and Mummy tell me you are a handsome boy, that you are going to be my boyfriend
CY: (itCa) Date?
HJ: (iM) Before a date
[23] HJ: (iM) The first date
CY: (itCa) Strangers? eyes sparkling with hope
HJ: (iM) AhhHH yes–yes… The two strangers go to the park for a first date that was arrange by their parents. That’s called…
CWJ: anticipation
TJC: does he finally get it
[24] Show effects: tense piano music
CY: (itCa and once more with ABSOLUTE fucking confidence) Park.
HJ: K.O. of the century
[25] HJ: (iM) Can we get Cheng Yi to be a regular? Just to play this
CY: SHY
TJC: in proper Cantonese The second word is…
Show effects: kissing sounds
[26] CY: (itCa) Kissing ah? They’re meeting for the first time and they’re already kissing ah?
TJC, WHD: ABSOLUTELY FUCKING GONE
HJ: choking goose INTENSIFIES
