The first step to creating a victim is to both lower that person’s self-esteem and to isolate them. Femininity is a community. Women share recommendations on where they get their hair done, which make up brands they favor, how to style outfits. When a man convinces a woman that femininity is useless or vain or overpriced or somehow evil, he’s really cutting her off from the community of women who could help her see through him. And when a formerly proud woman is convinced to stop caring about her appearance, to stop putting energy and effort into herself, she begins to feel what the abuser in question wants her to feel-worthless.
And of course she never gets any affirmation from anyone else because she either stays inside all the time at his behest or when she goes out she doesn’t look a way that would invite compliments or affirmation. He then has complete control of her self-image and she feels bound to him. Don’t believe the hype, ladies! Spending money is perfectly fine when it comes to him having the latest gaming systems, and looking good is great when it comes to him having the latest sneakers. So why must you go without? You are divine. You have the power the birth everything from creative endeavors to people. You are a goddess and goddesses are meant to be adorned with treasures. Consider this another way to create distance between you and those who mean you evil.
- Cecilia Regina
