#hiero2

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My brain is working on Hieroglyphs 2 so here's a bunch of costumes for Soromeh. It's nice to design her older (she's 25-ish in the next book) and dress her up in clothes that are not Egyptian.

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time to write. i'm gonna make those immortal bisexuals the most toxic relationship, y'all-

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writer working on book 1: I am in my twenties and I believe in True Love so my characters will have nice romances.

writer working on book 2: l'm gonna be 40 soon, romance doesn't exist, and these characters are gonna pay for it.

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I wrote a novel for 17 years. I loved it, I was proud of it. And it got published! By a respected publisher! I loved my book, I was proud of it!

And then, well. Time passed, books didn't sell. The publisher did not really market it, either. Most of my support came from loved ones, which I'm grateful for, but when the insidious voice of impostor syndrome tells you constantly "well, they don't really count", you doubt yourself.

Reviews came in. They were room temperature at best. The only professional review I had in a magazine could be summarized by the critique saying "Well I wouldn't have done it like this." I check the reviews on Amazon, on Goodreads, and I can't get the positive ones in my head. Just the mean ones. (No, not even the negative ones, the mean ones. Like the one that said "Well most of the support for this author comes from people who already like her so it doesn't count." It sucks when the worst things you tell yourself are said by someone else.)

And I doubt.

Was the plot too complex, was the writing too simple, were the characters annoying, the setting not serious enough, was it boring was it boring oh no it was boring wasn't it.

And I stopped loving my book.

I've been trying to work on the sequel. I have a great story to tell, I'm proud of it (?), I love it (?). But I can't stop thinking about the first book as a failure.

Imagine that! Finally getting your novel published! And being convinced, in the deepest part of yourself, that you failed at your lifelong dream.

I need to reread it. It's hard, I hate what I see, I only see what I would (should) change. It's a chore, and I don't want my story to be a chore.

I need to fall in love with this story again. I once adored these characters, and I was proud of the plot and the research. It's hard, I need to put aside the mean voices both outside and inside my head.

The copy I'm rereading is damaged and used, because I slept with it under my pillow for a month after receiving it. I used to love it, be proud of it.

(...I read books and fics and comics, watch shows and movies, with so much love and enthusiasm... Maybe someone somewhere gets joy out of this story like I get joy from other's.)

I just need to love my book again.

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i've been looking for a post-it app that left me enough freedom to plan my story and move the pieces around. i'm trying Miro, it's pretty cool, and i managed to lay the pieces of both books (it's a two-parter) (it's Hieroglyphs' sequel) (it's the one with the plagues)

anyway--

(if you're wondering: it's one story but two books. Each book needs to have its own 3 acts and midpoint, because i believe in a complete book even if it ends in a cliffhanger. but the big story itself also needs a progression, and a midpoint. so you get 3 midpoints total, which are moments where the story turns around and morphs into something unexpected, while also being logical and organic.)

seeing it like this makes me realize where most of the scenes i planned are set in the timeline and what parts of the story need to be figured out. also, seeing them in the curve makes me realize some of them don't have enough tension, so i need to make things worse. it's fun!

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there's a long timeskip between book 1 and 2 so i can't give my two idiots a slow romance. they're not at 'does he like me' they're at 'dude we keep hooking up but you don't want to make up your mind i'm gonna strangle you in your sleep'.

being immortal doesn't make you emotionally smart. it just makes your issues grow for longer.

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Soromé, around 25-ish

(Hieroglyphs book 2 is set several years later, so after working with her as a teenager for half of my life, i need to get used to her as an adult. it's strange, and nice, like meeting an old friend all over again.)

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He was finally free. But you cannot escape forever.

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Working on the sequel to this book.