Feb 24, 2015
What is the point in looking for someone if you have not even found yourself?
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What is the point in looking for someone if you have not even found yourself?
Highschool Dating
It's not for me. These relationships are educational, yes, but will they make me happy? I mean, Jake is perfect and I don't know if I could date him even if he liked me. I am only beginning to figure out how to handle myself, and adding a boy into the mix would probably throw me off. I'm finally finding balance, and I'm afraid a boy, even Jake, would upset it. Jake is unrealistic, he likes Cassidy. I need to stop professing love every five minutes. But would it make me happy? Maybe. I don't want to have to worry about how I look or whether I'm a good kisser or not. I don't want to get caught up in the surface dilemmas. I dream of a boy who thinks I'm a good kisser, not because of the way I kiss, but because it's me who's kissing him. Someone who doesn't really care too much about whether I'm wearing makeup or not, because he's just happy to see me. I think he exists in the form of Jake. If only Jake could see me that way. I don't think he understands himself yet, so he's not ready for something at that level. I like that he's with Cassidy. She makes him happy. I must stop talking about Jake. I'm ready for a relationship that means something, but I'm not sure the boys that surround me are. So I will wait.