Pt 12 (Bit of a long one here!)
The morning of the full moon, Stiles was already agitated. He could feel the buzz of energy under his skin, and it was almost painful. Every little noise made him flinch, and he could feel every brush of his clothing against him. Derek had made breakfast like usual, but Stiles could barely stomach it, feeling sick after just a few bites. Derek didn't push, just handed him a glass of room-temperature water that Stiles accepted.
"If it gets too much, Deaton made some wolfsbane based painkillers that should help," Derek said softly.
"Should?" Stiles asked, almost smiling.
"Well, we tested them on Scott and Isaac," Derek shrugged. "But your sensory issues may not work the same. We won't know for sure until you try them."
"I don't know if they'll do anything right now, but I'll keep that in mind," Stiles closed his eyes for a moment before looking back at Derek. "Does the buzzing happen for you, too?"
"Yes," Derek sounded almost apologetic. "It's worse in the beginning, when you're learning to control the shift. It's the pull of the moon's phasing, the urge to give in to the wolf. To be what you are."
"What I am is uncomfortable," Stiles grumbled, and Derek smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes.
By noon, Stiles was nearly vibrating with discomfort. Derek suggested a run, but they barely made it out the door before Stiles whimpered at the sheer volume of overwhelming scents and instinctively backed away from the door. Derek rushed to comfort, seeing the panic in Stiles' eyes, but Stiles flinched when Derek reached for him.
"Hey, hey, hey, it's ok!" Derek held up his hands. "You're okay, no touching, just listen to my voice," Derek continued speaking low and comforting, his own wolf whining at Stiles' discomfort.
"Sorry," Stiles gasped out the word, eyes filling with tears. "I didn't mean to- I mean I'm not scared, it's just too much!"
"It's okay, let's go back inside," Derek gestured for Stiles to go first, and Stiles nodded.
"Okay," Stiles nodded miserably.
As the day progressed, the two wolves tried multiple different strategies to make Stiles more comfortable. He first tried the noise-cancelling headphones Derek had bought him the day before (which he had tested and liked), but today the press of the headphones against his skin was impossible to tolerate. Derek suggested a shower, thinking it might act as a sensory reset, but Stiles barely lasted a minute before abandoning the idea. The shower felt like he was being pelted by tiny, sharp hail and left his skin feeling raw. It did not help that the softest towels Derek owned felt like sandpaper and left Stiles close to tears.
"It's not your fault," Derek reminded him through the door. "You've done nothing wrong. We can figure this out together! Ok? I promise you're going to be okay!"
"How?" Stiles nearly wailed in distress. "I can't even dry off after a torture shower!"
"You don't have to use a towel," Derek soothed. "You can use anything you want to dry off, I don't care what it is!"
"What do I wear in the meantime?"
Derek could hear Stiles sniffing, and he wanted nothing more than to scoop up his beta and make all the pain go away.
"You don't have to wear anything. I'll close my eyes, and you can tell me when you find something that's soft enough."
"Ok," Stiles sniffed again. "I'm coming out."
Derek closed his eyes and heard the bathroom door click open. He kept them closed, more than capable of relying on his other senses to know where Stiles was. He listened as Stiles padded softly through the loft, rummaging through drawers and Derek's closet. Derek kept still, listening for anything that might indicate Stiles' distress increasing.
Instead, he heard soft noises of disgust or irritation as Stiles touched different fabrics, hums of maybes, and eventually a sigh of relief as Stiles found something that worked.
"Are you sure I can use this? It's not exactly a towel..." Stiles' voice was close, and Derek turned his head, eyes still closed. "Oh, you can open your eyes, I'm decent."
Derek did with a grin, and Stiles rolled his eyes in response. The beta was wrapped in a soft cream blanket that Derek instantly recognized. It was a cotton cashmere blend, and it had been on his bed.
"If you need to use a blanket as a towel, I'll buy you a hundred," Derek promised, and Stiles rolled his eyes again.
"That's a bit excessive, Der," he muttered, and Derek smirked.
"I can afford it. I'll buy you a whole damn wardrobe full of cashmere if you want," Derek said confidently, and Stiles turned a faint pink.
Now that Stiles was wrapped in the softest material he had ever experienced in his life, everything else wasn't quite so overwhelming. He could still feel the buzz of the full moon under his skin, but it was more muffled and less all-consuming. Stiles felt himself relax for the first time that day as they settled on the couch to watch a movie. Derek put it on the lowest volume possible, since they would both still be able to hear it. Derek sat, and Stiles stretched out beside him, head on Derek's lap, still fully cocooned in the blanket.
"Safe to touch?" Derek asked, and Stiles nodded.
"The buzzing is still there, but not in an everything hurts way. For now at least."
"Let me know if it gets worse," Derek said firmly before resting one hand on Stiles shoulder, the other combing gently through Stiles' barely damp hair.
"Okay," Stiles sighed, and Derek felt the beta relax under his touch.
It didn't take long for Stiles' breathing to even out as he drifted to sleep. Derek didn't move (except for the hand still in Stiles' hair), completely used to Stiles passing out on him by now. Being a werewolf seemed to be incredibly exhausting for the younger man. Derek made a mental note to talk to Melissa about the physical toll sensory issues and stress could cause. Maybe there was a way they could do more to help Stiles.
Stiles slept through the whole movie, and rather than wake him, Derek carefully scooped up the beta and carried him to the bed. Derek carefully arranged Stiles against the pillows, making sure the younger man was still snuggly wrapped in the soft blanket. Stiles whined faintly, and Derek quickly stroked a hand over his hair, and Stiles settled. Once he was sure Stiles wouldn't wake, Derek settled onto the bed next to him with a book and his phone.
As the afternoon stretched into evening, Stiles began tossing slightly, face scrunching in his sleep, making soft noises. Derek could feel it too. The moon was rising, and the higher it crept, the stronger the pull became. Stiles rolled over, pressing into Derek's side. The alpha wrapped an arm around his beta and leaned down to nuzzle at his hair, and Stiles settled. Derek kept his arm around Stiles as he texted the rest of his betas, checking in with them all, making sure they were handling the full moon. He checked in with Scott, making sure the younger alpha was still okay with running the preserve with the pack.
"Der?" The mumbled question came from his side and Derek looked down to see a confused Stiles looking up at him.
"Hey," Derek smiled. "Feeling better?"
Stiles made a face like he wasnt sure how to answer.
"Yes? but also no," Stiles shifted and then froze.
"You okay?" Derek asked, frowning as he tried to figure out what had happened.
"I am just very aware that I am still naked," Stiles blushed slightly and Derek chuckled.
"Don't worry, you've stayed fully wrapped in the blanket," He promised.
"Still embarrassing," Stiles muttered, pressing his face back to Derek's side.
"I can leave you alone, and you can get dressed," Derek offered, smiling when he felt Stiles shake his head, still pressed to his side.
"Don't want to move," Stiles muttered. "I'm almost not miserable."
"Hey, that's an improvement," Derek said encouragingly.
"How's the pack?" Stiles asked.
"They're fine. Scott is going to take everyone on a run, but most of them have more than enough control to run on their own if they wanted to. So nothing to worry about. Let's focus on you," Derek ran his hand up and down Stiles' back. "I know we haven't done much shifting, but the full moon can pull it out. Do you want me to talk you through it?"
"Like a full shift?" Stiles asked, lifting his head finally.
"It depends on the person. Scott was forced into a full shift, almost completely lost control more than once, just running on instinct. The betas' first full moon was a bit of a disaster, but their shifts were defensive and instinctual. Isaac figured out control really fast, but it took Erica and Boyd a bit longer. You were there for Liam's first full moon, you taught Malia how to find an anchor, you've dealt with chimeras and kitsune and feral alphas, so I think you'll have more intentional control than the average new wolf."
"So no chains in a basement for me?" Stiles quipped.
"I'm pretty sure I can take you," Derek countered, pleased when Stiles snorted in response.
"Who me? Super-Werewolf, with all the practice I've had reigning in other werewolves? You stand no chance!"
"You think?" Derek grinned down at Stiles, still smushed into his side.
"For all you know, I retained every single training session I've been forced to witness over the last few years, and I'm actually a secret werewolf ninja!"
"Right of course," Derek nodded seriously. "How could I forget? Werewolves learn through osmosis."
"Exactly, you get it!" Stiles' attempt at a sage expression was slightly ruined by both the angle he was at, but he continued in the same tone of someone sharing wisdom. "And since I had that knowledge as a human, it's now going to make me the best super werewolf ninja ever."
"Ah, I should have realized," Derek did his best to match Stiles' tone, but was fighting back the laughter. "So will you be getting up to show off these new ninja skills? Or are they conditional?"
"They aren't conditional!" Stiles sounded offended, but then added: "...I'm not getting up, though." At that, Derek burst out laughing, and Stiles smiled. "What? I'm finally comfortable! For the most part, at least."
Derek sobered slightly, glancing down at the beta.
"Yeah. Is it normal to know where the moon is?"
"What do you mean?" Derek asked, confused.
"It's in that direction," Stiles pointed vaguely, and Derek was very aware he was pointing roughly east, which made sense as the moon should be rising, but Stiles seemed very certain.
"I'm not sure," Derek admitted. "I've always been aware of the moon, being a born wolf, but knowing exactly where it is? I don't know..." Derek frowned, trying to concentrate.
He could feel the pull of the moon, but that pull was to be outside, to bask in the moonlight and run free. He could feel the intensity of the moon heightening his senses, and because of that, he knew how many minutes were left until full moon rise based on the light coming in the windows. He could figure out which way the moon was, but just knowing?
"That might be a you thing," Derek said, still trying to sense the moon. "At least, I can't tell where it is. Not just on instinct. I can ask Peter if he knows of anything like that next time we talk," Derek offered.
"Sure," Stiles tilted his head back to look up at Derek. "It's not painful or anything. I'm just... aware."
"Hmm," Derek ran a hand through Stiles hair, not really having anything to say. Stiles eyes fluttered, and he leaned into the touch. Derek managed to keep his heartbeat steady through sheer force of will, knowing full well that any stutter or skip would be immediately noticed by the beta pressed against him.
"Can we watch?" Stiles blinked back to himself, and Derek realized Stiles must have been thinking about something specific.
"Watch what?" Derek asked with a smile.
"The moon," Stiles said it like it was obvious. "I don't want to run or anything, we don't even have to go anywhere, we can just go on the balcony! I just want to see it and, like, be outside when I do. It's supposed to be a clear night-"
"Stiles," Derek interrupted, still smiling. "You don't have to explain. We can watch the moon."
"Cool," Stiles gave Derek a brilliant smile. "I need clothes then."
"I'll see what I can find," Derek shifted carefully out of their tangle and slid toward the edge of the bed. "It can be windy on the balcony, so you'll need some insulation."
Derek found a pair of sweats and a hoodie for Stiles, then gave the beta privacy to change. Once Stiles was dressed, the two headed out to the balcony. It used to be empty, but Erica had insisted that Derek needed to decorate more ("Like a normal person!"), So luckily, there were now some comfortable chairs and string lights. Derek watched as Stiles curled up on one of the chairs, wrapping himself in the blanket he had brought with him. Derek suspected that blanket was no longer his, but he found he didn't mind.
"Can we turn off the lights?" Stiles asked, his eyes already on the sky.
"Of course," Derek hit the switch without hesitation, coming to sit beside Stiles. "How are you feeling?"
"Mmm," Stiles gaze was still on the moon shining above them. "I'm fine. The moon is pretty."
"She is," Derek agreed, his own gaze drifting to the sky.
"She?" Stiles asked, and Derek flushed.
"My mom always referred to the moon as a woman. The mother of Werewolves, shining on us and guiding us. I guess I never stopped thinking of the moon as 'she'."
"I like that," Stiles said softly.
The two drifted into silence, Stiles transfixed by the sky and Derek just being present. There was a light breeze, and Derek could smell the preserve on the wind. He could also smell Stiles all around him, and for the first time all week, Stiles was fully settled and calm. His scent radiated content, and Derek found himself watching the beta more than the moon.
Stiles bathed in moonlight was a beautiful sight. His pale skin practically glowed, contrasting against his hair and the moles that dotted his skin. His eyes were shining with the celestial light, and Derek knew if Stiles were to look away from the sky, his face would have a beautiful smile spread across it. Derek let his eyes close, letting his other senses take in the moment. He could feel the power of the moon coursing through him, making him stronger, heightening his senses. If it wasn't, he might have missed the slight whine next to him.
"What's wrong?" He asked softly, eyes opening to find Stiles.
The beta had a longing, wistful expression, his gaze still locked on the sky.
"Nothing," Stiles sighed, "I just... I don't know. I think I want to hug the moon," Stiles turned to Derek for the first time since they had come outside, eyes glassy and unfocused. "Don't you ever want to hug the moon?"
"Come here," Derek opened his arms, and Stiles moved without hesitation, climbing into Derek's lap and curling up in the alpha's arms. "You're moon drunk," Derek's lips brushed Stiles hair as he explained. "It's probably going to make you a bit emotional."
"Why has no one else ever talked about that?" Stiles asked, almost pouting, though Derek could hear the worry underneath.
"It's very rare," Derek smoothed a hand down Stiles' back. "Usually, it only happens to young born wolves. But it makes sense for you."
"Because I'm immature?" Stiles guessed, and Derek frowned.
"No!" He scolded lightly. "Because you have more in common with a born wolf than you think. We aren't born with the ability to shift; we learn it as we grow. You, as a human, learned the way a born wolf would. It makes sense that you would process being turned the way a born wolf learns."
"Oh," Stiles considered for a moment, his gaze drifting back to the sky. "So I am a super werewolf."
"I'm going to regret this, but yes, in your own way, you are a super werewolf."
"Nice," Stiles sounded pleased with himself and snuggled closer, eyes still on the sky.
Derek chuckled and tightened his arms around the beta. They fell back into silence, enjoying the rays of moonlight and the breeze. Derek wasn't sure how much time had passed when Stiles abruptly sat up. Derek, startled, nearly knocked them out of the chair.
"What? What's wrong?" He asked, trying to figure out what Stiles had sensed.
"Shh, did you hear that?" Stiles eyes were locked on the trees below them. Derek obligingly fell silent, listening. "There!" Stiles whispered. "Did you hear it?"
Derek relaxed, smiling in understanding.
"You heard the pack," He said aloud.
"Yes! They sound like they are having fun!" Stiles stood, crossing to lean over the balcony.
"They usually do on pack runs," Derek came to stand beside Stiles. "If you howl back, they'll probably hear you," Derek nudged Stiles.
"How do I do that?" Stiles' head snapped towards Derek. "I want to do that!"
"You already know how," Derek smiled. "You've seen it time and time again. You know why wolves howl. Don't overthink it. You don't have to fully shift to howl, just relax and follow your instincts."
Stiles looked up at the moon again before closing his eyes. He strained his ears to hear his friends, his pack, again. After a moment, he heard a howl he recognized! It was Scott! Stiles didn't think; he just answered. Answered the call of a friend, of an alpha, of pack. There was a beat, and then a chorus of voices responded.
"I did it!" Stiles' face split into a grin, and he was nearly bouncing in place, vibrating with excitement. "They heard me!"
"They did," Derek sounded proud. "They'll probably run closer to the lofts now."
Sure enough, the next round of howls was closer than the last, and Derek and Stiles answered together. Stiles could hear human shouts and laughter mixing with the howls now, and he almost couldn't contain his excitement. The joy in his friends' voices was infectious.
"I want to run with everyone next month," Stiles said, and Derek smiled.
"No doubt you'll be more than ready."
A shout from below drew the wolves' attention, and Stiles leaned forward to see Scott and Isaac. Erica and Boyd were close behind, and it didn't take long for the rest of the pack to exit the woods, eyes flashing.
"Hey Stiles!" Liam called up, waving and Stiles waved back.
"Enjoying the full moon?" Boyd asked.
"Mostly," Stiles shrugged. "It's better now."
"No raging bloodlust?" Isaac teased.
"No," Derek smirked. "He gets moon drunk instead, like a pup on their first pack run."
"Why would you tell them that?"Stiles glared, sounding slightly horrified, but Derek just shrugged, still smirking.
"Peter's gonna love that," Scott called up from the ground.
"You better not tell him, Scott McCall!" Stiles pointed an accusing finger towards his friend. "You know I know more than enough about you to get you back!"
"I think it's sweet," Erica interjected before Scott could respond. "Mama Stiles has become Baby Stiles!"
"Erica. I love you, but if you start calling me baby stiles!"
"I would never! You'll always be my Batman!" Erica grinned up at him, and Stiles huffed slightly.
"Besides, we'll probably just call you moon drunk stiles from now on anyway!" Liam yelled, and before Stiles could threaten the younger man, he took off for the trees. "See you tomorrow!" He called over his shoulder.
"Crap, I'd better follow him, see you, Stiles!" Scott waved and took off after his beta.
"Bye!" Stiles called after them, and slowly the rest of the pack began saying goodbye and taking off after Scott and Liam.
"So how badly do you want to run after them?" Derek asked, deeply satisfied by how well Stiles first full moon was going. He had been worried it would be traumatic for the new beta, given how he had been turned.
"I'm good for now," Stiles stepped back from the railing, his eyes drifting to the moon again.
Derek chuckled, noticing Stiles' distraction.
"Let me know if that changes," the alpha said as he went to sit again.
The two men stayed on the balcony the rest of the night. Stiles' eyes almost never left the sky, tracking the moon's slow path across the stars. Derek's gaze almost never left Stiles. It wasn't until the moon was dipping behind the trees that Stiles turned, letting out a huge yawn.
"What time is it?" He asked, yawning again.
"Late," Derek said with a smile. "Ready to go in?"
Stiles nodded, rubbing his eyes, suddenly unable to stop yawning. Derek guided him into the loft, and Stiles immediately flopped onto the bed. Derek pulled off Stiles' shoes before stretching out next to him.
"Gnight," Stiles mumbled into the pillow.
"Sleep well, Stiles," Derek murmured in response, and the two fell asleep unbothered by the lightening sky.
